My children's school is mental

[Ahardyfool]

I have a more exciting post to type later this weekend about my children's school but the latest is a request (read instruction) for all year 6 pupils to bring a roll on deodorant to school.

Am I silly to let it cross my mind that they may tell us all when to poo next?

Provision not probation

That's lovely, but increasingly we see children in primary school who have no social skills or communication skills because they are plonked in front of the television from an early age, children for who a packed lunch consists of a family size swiss roll ( honest!) or, today's delight-a cold sausage and crisps, children who come into school dirty and smelly, in the same stained clothes as yesterday. And I'm not talking about a "one-off" child but increasing numbers every year. I can't send a letter out to "everyone except mrs AHardyfool" so I send one out asking parents to ensure their children have a packed lunch/clean clothes/don't smell/use anti=perspirant in the hope that perhaps one or two might just think it applies to them!

Spanieleyes, out of genuine interest, does the letter work? Do you see that lightbulb moment occur? Because if it does then maybe I'd relent a little in my views. Be interested to hear from others on this.

I'm no fan of being told what to do but there are many many children who do not have parents like those on mumsnet and shouldn't we be willing to put up with a bit bossiness, about things which are fairly inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, for the sake of those children ?

If it works only once ( and it has done!) then its worth it! If only one child has a better lunch/cleaner clothes/is teased less becuase they don't smell, then I'll write letters 'til the cows come home!
( as an aside, my son had "To use deodorant every day" as an IEP target for two years!!)

If you know what the school is saying doesn't apply to your child, you just ignore it.

Hibiscus.. Yes, that would probably be the less anarchistic more mature approach

As someone who asked my mum for a starter bra and deo aged 12 and was told not to be ridiculous I think the school stepping in would have been a godsend. I also had to handle starting periods by myself and buying STs, washing my own sheets etc and would have felt so much better for some nanny state school 'interference'- or help as I would have seen it. Don't knock progress if you're lucky enough not to have needed help. There were no 'good old days'

Agree Breathe. My mum wouldn't get me deodorant as a teen either or adequate STs. It would have helped me if the school had asked parents to make sure these were provided.

My godsend in the end was some relative giving me Boots vouchers for Christmas. Whether tactful or coincidence it was a good move!

At the end of a week in a classroom of 30 11 year olds who are spending their time rehearsing dance numbers for the Year 6 production or competing in cricket or athletics competition, I wish I'd thought of a letter recommending roll-on!

I find the Lynx spray combines with BO to create an odour worse than either...

If you've been in a room of sweaty students after PE on a Friday afternoon, you would never even post this.

You don't have to send a roll on deodorant. Send a stick, or even one of those deodorant rock crystal things. They're just saying roll on to prevent the 'lynx effect'.

Hibiscus and Breathe I've noticed from two extremes:
-neglect or well-meaning ignorance of the facts
and
-Opinionated hands-on parents' "Don't be silly, in my day/home country we all played with dolls till age 13 you're forcing her to grow up."
...the latter has increased over the last 12 years or so (in my experience). A kind of conflation between society trying to sexualise stuff early and the fact that for many children the changes of puberty start about 9-11 years of age. This has always been the case (I did some not very thrilling reading up on it when training and HCPs have noted no major change in the UK over the last 60 years, it was just such things were taboo previously so people only assumed it happened when the girls looked fully adult- often several years after the onset of puberty. In the USA, girls do tend to hit puberty slightly sooner and their HCP see no periods by 15 as a clinical issue whereas over here 'wait and see' is used and lo and behold usually all is well...).

In the latter case of an emotional 'burying head in the sand', a letter or quick word from the right person in the right tone works wonders.

If you know what the school is saying doesn't apply to your child, you just ignore it.

The most sensible post on this thread.

It was vindictiveness in my mum's case Squizita. My mum bought my younger sister a big array of more expensive STs, Bodyform etc which I'd love to have had. She made sure my sister had everything she needed. If she bought me any she'd buy the cheapest big thick ones you used to get in the 80s. I've never forgotten that and I'm 43

:( That is so sad Hibiscus.

I've made a nice family for myself though and won't do the same with ny daughters.

:)

I think this is an odd request - but I think it's because the school does not feel comfortable saying to parents "can you please make sure your child had a shower/bath everyday, fresh clothes and puts on deodorant if needed".

I am sure there are some 11 year olds who do none of those and do smell a bit.

I think a better approach would be for the teacher to have an informal chat to the children about this.

shouldn't we be willing to put up with a bit bossiness, about things which are fairly inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, for the sake of those children?

Absolutely agree, affinia

Op, lentil weavy "natural" stuff doesn't touch the sides when it comes to controlling ds's whiffiness. Poor child inherited it from me

Fresh sweat doesn't remain odourless for long at all on either of us - within an hour, if he's not used antiperspirant it's pretty pungent. It wasn't quite so bad when he was 10/11, but it was certainly getting there.

I think a better approach would be for the teacher to have an informal chat to the children about this.

Which we do, every year 6 class I know has a "personal hygeine" talk in the summer months but it's the parents who need to be buying deodorant/sanitary products and washing/ironing clean clothes so we have to direct some "requests" at them too.

I work in a year2 class and some of my pupils need to wear deodorant now. It baffles me how some parents are unaware that it's not good for a child to wear the same polo shirt all week in this weather, or that sweaty armpits need washing more frequently.

When a child throws their arms around you at 9am and you can smell sweat, well I can't help but judge the parents. It's unavoidable.

My son started wearing a natural deodorant in year2,in year4 we had to change it-phew!

I have taught all five of my children hygiene basics,ensured they have clean clothes, have access to deodorant and know how to use it.
They will never be the 'smelly' ones. Two have left home,but they still maintain what I have shown them-lifetime skills.

The ones who don't have this, will no doubt go on to be the adults we read about on threads who find their partners abhorrent at the stench/hygiene.

All because no one has taught them. Makes me very sad.

At my school we have superb pastoral care,and children have been brought uniform, shoes,had them washed by staff and deodorant purchased for them.
If I was in an older class,I would definitely make up a parcel of ST, pretty soap and deodorant and give them out as prizes etc. Couldn't live with myself if I didn't.

Feel so sad for some on here whose parents didn't ensure their basic hygiene needs were met.
These things leave scars. No one wants to be the smelly kid

I think a better approach would be for the teacher to have an informal chat to the children about this.

A LOT of parents (even especially caring/overprotective ones) don't listen to kids only adults. "Oh no Cressida, deodorant and shower gels are for older girls big repressed terror of PFB growing up " or "No, waste of money wait for it to be an issue ".
Sad but true, sometimes an adult is needed to tell the parents.

I would think most Year 2 children don't need deodorant though do they? Just regular washing and clean clothes.

A daily bath or shower, including a good scrub of underarms with soap and a thorough rinse, plus a clean t-shirt will suffice for 6 and 7 year olds.