My children's school is mental

[Ahardyfool]

I have a more exciting post to type later this weekend about my children's school but the latest is a request (read instruction) for all year 6 pupils to bring a roll on deodorant to school.

Am I silly to let it cross my mind that they may tell us all when to poo next?

1. Some Y6 children have started puberty. Antiperspirant is for the sake of everyone else having to share a hot classroom with them.

1. Poor choice of title.

I noticed DS (7) smelled a bit whiffy after Judo the other night

I'd have loved this. DM, for all her wonderfulness, was totally head in the sand about her PFB growing up and I didn't think I could ask until I was a teen. Someone taking it out of my hands so I didn't have to ask would have been a god send.

At the same time, it's so invasive of the school to 'prescribe' such things...

But then, is it not similar to a letter home about nits?

I'm really torn on this one...

FFS a CHILD PROTECTION issue if they smell a bit sweaty?!! 2 generations ago we only had soap and water, how has the non wearing of deodorant become a child protection issue? I know I'm in the minority but I'd much rather smell fresh sweat than deodorant.

that is mental that

beery surely they would put deo on before school though!!!!

fresh shirt and lynx on

I told all the Year 5&6 girls at my school to start wearing deodorant as they were changing for swimming & the smell was not good. It was quicker and easier than identifying exactly who it was who needed it.
OP - I wouldn't have a problem with that at all.

13 year old ds

chocolate, in my school we're not talking about "fresh sweat". For children where low-level neglect is a feature, it could be week-old sweat.

As PP have said, Yr5 and 6 classrooms can smell very whiffy by the end of the day. If you prefer the smell of sweat to the smell of deodorant, that's fine, but please don't assume that people who spend every school day in the company of pubescent children feel the same way as you do.

i feel sorry if that's the case!!

FFS a CHILD PROTECTION issue if they smell a bit sweaty?!! 2 generations ago we only had soap and water, how has the non wearing of deodorant become a child protection issue? I know I'm in the minority but I'd much rather smell fresh sweat than deodorant.

It's not an issue if it's just a bit of sweat but it can either be a sign of neglect (in a few cases) - poor hygiene has been a factor in every single serious neglect case I've come across personally. Child carers washing the others but not themselves, for example. Kids who get no soap bought for them and no cash to buy enough. Kids who have clingy rather odd mums who don't want them to grow up. Girls who have no access the sanitary towels (true). Girls who don't want to bath on days mum's boyfriend is staying over in case he comes in...

Frankly it is a big clue. Better a parent who doesn't realise PFB is growing up have a phonecall than one who doesn't care is never addressed.

Growing up tbh I knew kids like this too at my class. The 'pissy' kid and the 'greasy' kid. It wasn't innocent golden age fun and we knew it. It was just completely ignored back then and eventually they just stopped going to school and goodness knows what happened to them, well I know one had a baby by her 'uncle' age 14 anyway... so yeah, now maybe it would've been a CP issue eh??.
Let's not pretend because that happened back in the 80s (in my case) it was 'better' and all innocent.

Mental? As someone who has had MH problems, and who works with some mentally ill people, I think you should rephrase the wording. Odd, weird, wrong- fine. But why bring MH (or, tbh, any) illnesses into that? It's offensive to me and hurtful to many other people.

TheFirstofHerName you're right about the title. I apologise and should know better especially as I've had a week of CAMHS appointments with 2 suspected autistic children of mine.

I am getting the vibe that Y5 and 6 classes are unbearably stinky. My boys both shower at night but not in the morning (autism thing means we would be getting ready til midday if we tried). We've been told DS2 smells sometimes but DP checked for me (in case I'm immune to the smell of own children) and I asked granny and both said not. Eldest DS has a cupboard full of lynx and hair gels of which mainly the hair gel gets used and toothpaste only forcibly. I've advanced ds2 to make use also after his shower.

I'd rather they washed lots rather than spray stuff on themselves but once armpit hair present accept they will need it if I'm to remain realistic.

What I do resent, however, is this school's penchant for telling me what to do at every possible moment. We had a smoothie returned from the packed lunch recently as it wasn't deemed acceptable. I agree that we can't have nuts in lunches but they now rule on every possible thing and I'm sick to death of it. I send the children to school to receive an education but not to have every life matter dictated to them from the far from broad minded perspective that appears to abound there. Also the school meals are unhealthy in the extreme so it is also sheer hypocrisy the stuff they trot out in their dictatorial parent mail.

Conversely, I did report that DD (in reception) had nits. This was so parents would be aware and could take action but as ever, we got the letter about slathering a load of carcinogenic slop over their follicles as if it was the only way. We bought a new pink nitty gritty.

Anyway, I'll go weave some lentils by myself..

My Y5 dd's teacher told the children to shower and use deo every day the other day. I assumed it was because the classroom was getting whiffy and she didn't want to single anyone out, which I thought was a good idea. My dd doesn't really need deo yet. Is it when they get hairs under their arms that they start to need it? She doesn't smell of BO at all after school and hasn't started to develop. I suppose it's something to keep an eye on though.

And fwiw, I'm mixed. Kids can really stink. Roll ons better than spray ons in many ways (breathing problems, allergies and so on).

I've had a week of CAMHS appointments with 2 suspected autistic children of mine.

Totally sympathise. Already been to CAMHS once this week and spent this morning liaising with Learning Support.

Is Hedrin etc really carcinogenic then? My GP recommended it so I assumed it would be ok. The one I used said it worked by sort of drowning/smothering the headlice I think. You had to use it a week later to get the hatched eggs.

And also sympathies about CAMHS. Seriously, the waiting list is hell, then there's the endless stream of paperwork (nothing new, tbf, but still tiring) and no one seemed to be communicating with each other. No experience of CAMHS for children with autism, but we waited a good few months for a high priority referral for DSD.

I know a lot of pesticide treatments for head lice are known to be but honestly couldn't tell you product by product. I've never used them in the DC as the nitty gritty is perfect so I've kinda lumped good and bad options together there probably.

I have had a week from hell so probably not in the best frame of mind for dealing with such trivialities but then, are these things that trivial?

I am alarmed about the nanny state culture which pervades school life at a seemingly greater rate than any other area of our lives. I do also appreciate that some parents need a nudge in the right direction as so some parents need a sharp instruction regarding the welfare of their children and failing that CP action to be taken. However, I put SO much thought into things like diet, life experience, exercise, and herbal enrichment that I am often incensed by the lessons school tries to have live our lives by. The dietary teachings are out dated and only better than a crisps and coke diet by a whisker and so I personally feel condescended to and as though school feel they have the moral high ground and are experts on everything.

Herbal enrichment?! Um, not sure what I even meant to type there.

GiantIsopod, I've one DS under Camhs assessment (round 2 ding dong!) and the other in alternative probation awaiting the start of SEN process as is looking likely that he will never be able to be in mainstream. I have the while of the summer now to worry about these things! Yippee! As ds2 is not anywhere near a statement yet, I've applied for a local school which seems more relaxed and less ofsted obsessed. But terrifying to think this may not meet his needs and just pile a whole load more pressure on us as a family so that they have sweet smelling punctual, school dinner eating children to gain them 'good' or 'outstanding' scores...