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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Starting primary and working mums - how did you manage?

32 replies

Steben · 09/06/2014 10:42

I am in a massive panic about pfb dd starting school in September. She has not attended the pre-school, it was not our first choice and I just feel myself growing increasingly anxious about everything.

Working mums especially when your children started school what did you do regarding pre and after school care? I will only need to worry about this for 2/3 days a week but it just seems too much to expect her to start a new school where she knows NO-ONE and go straight into the pre and post school clubs. We have no family nearby who can step in and help out either it is just us. Our first choice primary was one where she would have known lots of people, the school breakfast and afterschool club are run by the teachers and I have friends with older siblings who rate it. I dont think I would be half as worried if she had gone there but obviously that is something I cant change.

DP says I need to get some perspective but I am really struggling with it all at the minute. To make matters worse DD2s childcare is in a completely different place (logistics will be a headache but we would not consider moving her due to very high quality of care and she is very happy and settled.)

I dont know what I am asking maybe reassurance it has worked out for others who were in a similar position?

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Iggly · 09/06/2014 10:44

I would like to know the same thing! Pfb starts in September, 2nd DC at a preschool in the other direction...

Original poster

Steben · 09/06/2014 10:53

Good to know I am not alone - everyone else I know seems to have their arrangements sorrted, or have family to fill the gaps, and the child knows or already attends the school.

OP posts:

LittleMissGreen · 09/06/2014 10:53

DS2 went from being at home with me to full time school with breakfast club and afterschool club every day. Everybody told me he would be exhausted but he absolutely loved it.

mumblechum1 · 09/06/2014 10:57

DS went to a primary where he knew no one as we'd moved 300 miles a week before. I hired a nanny to pick him up at lunchtime for the first term and by the time he started the second term which was full time (well, till 3pm), I'd changed my hours so could pick him up.

To be honest, it wasn't really ideal as the nanny was a bit crap but he survived. I would think that after school care would be easier on your dd as she'll be with the same faces she's been with during the day.

mandy214 · 09/06/2014 11:04

Can you take leave or re-jig your working hours say for the first half term (6 weeks). Our DD started last September and although there is wraparound care at school, we re-jigged everything so for the 1st half term we collected her. I work 3 days so I had an afternoon off each week, my husband did too, then for the 3rd day we had a mix of long distance grandparent coming up as a one off, friends, working from home etc. I personally think for my DD, an 8am - 5 or 6pm day at school would have been far, far too much.

Ughh · 09/06/2014 11:17

DS started reception knowing no-one. When I got the school offer I got straight on the phone to the breakfast/after school club then changed my Working days to fit in with their availability of spaces. He didn't know anyone at the clubs either but you will be surprised at how well they adapt. There were a few tears at the start but it was fine

noramum · 09/06/2014 12:21

DD started Infant with knowing 1 child out of the other 59, no problem at all.

As soon as we had our admission letter we contacted all childminders in our area and arranged visits. Our school has a decent breakfast/after school club but we had a very young 4 year old and didn't want her to feel too overwhelmed.

She started the CM (apart from 2-3 visits beforehand) the week she started school. The CM runs a quite large operation and 3 others started at the same time but it worked well.

I had the first two weeks of term off as well to help DD a bit easing in by lengthening the days at the CM until we were at a full afternoon in the second week.

scottie54 · 09/06/2014 18:16

We both do flexi time so will alternate drop off (start of day initially then before school club). There is no after school club at present (small village school) so have a childminder booked to do pick up the days I work. DH has the first week off to pick up after the first week which is half days. He's been in nursery 8-530 since 1 so I'd have no issues with using an after school club if we could. Again none of his friends are going to this school, although we're not overly concerned - he's adapted well to some of his friends leaving nursery and new children joining and playing with them

misssmapp · 09/06/2014 19:35

We have a childminder for before and after school - she also did the part time days when the dcs started school.

We also have no family nearby and both work fulltime.Ds1 didnt go to the pre-school attached to his new school, he started with the cm in September , but had some taster sessions during the summer holidays. He was fine . he is now in Yr 4, with the same cm and still happy.

Good luck

threepiecesuite · 09/06/2014 19:51

Our pfb starts in Sept too. She'll be straight into breakfast and afterschool club after the 1.5 weeks of half days (DP has booked this as leave). I'll pick her up at 4.45.
She'll cope.

tricot39 · 09/06/2014 22:18

Lots of people are in the same situation. DS is in YR and DD is with a childminder about 15 mins walk away. DS goes to after school club before I pick him up and we go home to get the car to collect DD. It is all a bit of a hassle but do-able for another year until DD starts school too. He had half days for his first week at school then went to full days with after school club straight away. given that he is quite cautious/shy and had only known one-to-one childminder care before he settled pretty well. there were rocky times but mainly tiredness (so getting an early night is a good idea) and testing out the boundaries with the teachers! Your DD will do fine. DS loves after school club and gets really annoyed if he doesnt go for some reason!

AnotherStitchInTime · 09/06/2014 22:20

Could you get a childminder for before/after school so that it is a more homely environment with less children? She will likely be very tired after doing full days at first.

ninaprettyballerina · 09/06/2014 23:52

I had to re-jig my working hours to ensure I could drop off and pick up at school and DH now has to drop off DS2 at nursery when it opens at 730. So I no longer get a lunch break, and work from home to save me 30 mins a day travelling time.
School holidays are the real killer for working parents though!

barefootcook · 10/06/2014 04:14

We both leave for work at 7.30am and have a student who looks after DS (5) for one hour each morning. She spends that time on homework, getting him ready for school- teeth, shoes and walking to school which is 5 minutes away. It works far better than I thought- he gets 20 minutes 1:1 help with reading per day and is is a calm start for us all. He goes to after school care for 2 days and a nanny (shared) for 3 days. Starting after school care was fine and he loves it. I thought he would find it too tiring and busy but he hasn't. I was worried too as it is a big change but it he has taken it all in his stride. I hope it goes well for you.

tricot39 · 10/06/2014 19:40

forgot to say. keep an eye out for adverts for summer holiday clubs this year. The same places will offer them in future holidays. By the beginning of July you willprobably be able to get the term dates for 2014/15 and start making enquiries about when you need to book for half term in the autumn! Our local childrens centres run holiday clubs for age 3-8 so we will use for ds and dd when our childminder is off on hols. i wish someone had pointed this out for our previous holidays this year as we have rattled through more annual leave than we might have!

Schmedz · 10/06/2014 22:13

Au pair - amazing if you get the right person, and they will help with cleaning and general housework etc.. as well.

Stripytop · 10/06/2014 22:21

When dd started school I spoke to work and changed my 3 full days a week to 5 school days. I actually had a year off when ds started school. They're now both in juniors and I'm back to three full days and use school wraparound care.

Original poster

Steben · 11/06/2014 09:26

Thanks for the replies all. Some good ideas, and I need to do done research I think. I can potentially do school hours one day a week and so I need to work out what to do on the other two, at the moment I have a lot of flexibility with my current manager but that is about to change. Horrified to read that the first week might be half days - I am getting into the school and after school club tomorrow to try and get a clearer picture

OP posts:

BookieTubules · 11/06/2014 11:49

When DD started school she went straight (after the first day) into breakfast and after-school clubs three days per week (and her brother was still at nursery in the opposite direction, so very similar to your situation). She knew one child out of the 60 in her year and that one didn't do breakfast or after school clubs. She was fine, there were several from her class who also did afterschool club so she palled up with them. She was used to long days at nursery anyway. To be honest I think we both found it easier to present it as the new situation now she was at school, rather than her getting used to coming home at home time and then having to get used to going off to after-school club instead. DS did the same thing in due course and coped fine (despite being only just four when he started) although of course he had his sister there as well. I'm with your husband on this one, I'm sure it will work out!

Anja1Cam · 11/06/2014 12:01

Sorry this reply might not help if you're looking for childcare advice but have you considered or can you request flexible hours? I changed from working 3 days part time with kids at nursery 9-5 to working the same hours spread over 4 days, 9.30 to 3.00 I still work 60% of total hours, because I don't get /have to take a lunch break (this is legal if you work less than 6 hours a day).

Original poster

Steben · 11/06/2014 12:09

I have a one hour commute, although some flexibility to work from home - I could possibly look to extend hours to cover school time but that would also mean putting dd2 in extra childcare. Bloody hell this is all very complicated! Not looking forward to next few years...

OP posts:

NotCitrus · 11/06/2014 12:29

I was in the same situation, had to use after-school club3 days a week as no childminders in the area would drop off or collect from ds's school - they all did closer schools. no breakfast club.
It's been hellish for me having to work a couple hours after dinner at home twice a week, but ds is ok especially with a scooter to shorten the 25 min walk. Swapping collections with nearby kids has helped a bit.
Most of the kids in after school club are younger as once they make better friends people start to swap childcare and save money, so they make better school friends too.

I have built good relationships with various colleagues and clients who it turns out also end up working strange hours - we have good chats at 11pm...

Do book off Inset days to go to crowded museums and theme parks, and organise any family/friends you have to come help in the holidays.

misssmapp · 11/06/2014 18:34

Hate to tell you, but my dc's school were half days ( til 12 o'clock! ) for the first three weeks . I hope your dc's school isn't the same !!

Aberchips · 12/06/2014 12:04

We have just been into the parents' meeting for my son's school & he is half days (afternoons) for the first 2 weeks!

meadowquark · 12/06/2014 12:28

What is pfb?

My DC are 6 and 3 and I and my husband work full time. DC1 goes to childminder in the morning and afterschool club (in a local nursery) in the afternoon. DC2 goes to nursery. We just juggle, to be honest. We have no relatives to help out. I save all my annual leave for closed school or sick days.

The next school we are going to try out au-pair for the first time. Even if it is for a year, I hope it will give us a break of running for a train every day.

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