Starting primary and working mums - how did you manage?

[Steben]

I am in a massive panic about pfb dd starting school in September. She has not attended the pre-school, it was not our first choice and I just feel myself growing increasingly anxious about everything.

Working mums especially when your children started school what did you do regarding pre and after school care? I will only need to worry about this for 2/3 days a week but it just seems too much to expect her to start a new school where she knows NO-ONE and go straight into the pre and post school clubs. We have no family nearby who can step in and help out either it is just us. Our first choice primary was one where she would have known lots of people, the school breakfast and afterschool club are run by the teachers and I have friends with older siblings who rate it. I dont think I would be half as worried if she had gone there but obviously that is something I cant change.

DP says I need to get some perspective but I am really struggling with it all at the minute. To make matters worse DD2s childcare is in a completely different place (logistics will be a headache but we would not consider moving her due to very high quality of care and she is very happy and settled.)

I dont know what I am asking maybe reassurance it has worked out for others who were in a similar position?

They start full time which is a massive relief! Also have number for the after school club so will hopefully find out more

Half days for the first month!!

Agree you need to research the options - childminder or after school either the schools own one or an external one.

I cried the first time I left DS to breakfast club. But he got used to it.

I work f-t. When DS started at the primary he went to Breakfast & After School Club but I found that it didn't work for us as we were struggling to fit homework in at the weekends and I got home too late to do it with him in the evening.

In addition, he couldn't join any clubs that were non-school based and he couldn't have friends home for playdates.

He and DD, now she's at the school, both still go to Breakfast Club, although not every day as DH is more flexible and my current boss is really nice and is ok with me going in late sometimes. We pay for 5 days for them both though in case we need it.

In the afternoon/evenings I employ 2 nannies. One works Monday and Tuesday and the other works Weed-Fri. Having 2 is a hangover from that nanny I found when we first went down this route, however, it works pretty well as they cover for each other when they are on holiday/sick.

The nannies collect from school, take them to clubs, do playdates, dinner and homework. They are also both busy women (iyswim) so won't leave chores that they spot unfinished so one of them puts clothes away for me and the other one does any mending or sewing that's needed.

I won't deny that it can be difficult but this is the lowest stress option that I've found and I've tried childminders as well.

Btw don't worry that she doesn't know anyone. They make friends really quickly.

Hi,

I work 3 days a week and hubby is full time. When hubby is on an early shift he can do school pick up/when he is on a late shift he can do drop off. At other times I use the breakfast club (£2 per child) and a childminder for school pick up.
My first child (DS) had attended a day nursery from 9 months old but when I had my 2nd child (when he was 3) I decided to put him in the school nursery. I was on maternity leave (with DD) the year he was at school nursery. When I was a couple of months away from returning to work I decided it was best to start looking for a childminder as childcare was becoming complicated now I had 2 children at completely different stages. I found a lovely childminder across the road from the school. She has been a godsend as we have no family help. Both children still go now after school and in the school hols sometimes (DS is in year 5, DD is in year 1). DS goes to secondary Sept 15 and we are hoping to work opposite each other for the 3 days that I work so we no longer need childcare. My childminder only has them until secondary age and we know that the teenage years are looming so I would prefer one of us to be around after school. It is so hard to find childcare for 11+!

I think that breakfast and after school clubs are hard on reception kids. It makes it a long day for them in their school environment, where they feel they have to be on best "school behaviour", especially when they don't yet have close friends with them.

I used a nanny, and several of my friends use child minders, so at least the kids are in a "home" setting, where things are generally more chilled out and less rules-driven. I find it sad seeing tiny exhausted kids being taken to after school club, while the other kids fall wearily into their mother's arms.

DD (May birthday) started one primary where she went to the breakfast and afterschool club run by the private nursery she had attended for the last 2 years. She had been in the nursery class of another very small primary and had been at the private nursery's after-school club then, so she had a lot of firm friendships there.

3 weeks into term we got a place at our 1st choice which is a 2-form entry and a 30 minute bus ride away. She went straight into their breakfast and after-school club and it was brilliant.

She got to know lots of other older children in the school via the clubs and gets spoilt rotten by them all as she is the littlest one there. They look out for her during the school day and the slightest hint of tears in the morning when I leave and she is whipped off by the older girls to play. The school told me at the end of the first term about how well and quickly she settled and that they felt being in the clubs had really helped with that.

So, poor DD went to 3 different primaries and 2 different breakfast/after-school clubs in the space of 3 months - and didn't even blink. She is a naturally confident child, but even so it was not what I had hoped to do to my kid!

They are much more resilient than we give them credit for.

I wish my daughter would be exhausted... she comes out of OSC demanding to go to the park - a lot will depend on the individual child.