Reception class 'Frozen' merchandise pressure

[mrsjavierbardem]

Dd is desperate for one of these very hard to get £40 Elsa or Anna dresses. It sounds like most of the girls will have one soon and be wearing them to parties etc. dh is adamant we shouldn't cave in to the pressure . But it is hard isn't it?
Anyone else standing firm against the Disney product thing? It is hard to be firm when so many girls have them.
Any wisdom on this subject would be appreciated.

Well now I have taken off the bow and netting it looks just like an Elsa dress as there are so many different versions on-line now. I think dd will be chuffed.

I think I am the opposite to you kilogramlady! My dd is older now - I don't necessarily think it does get worse as long as it not always a 'yes' when they want something. If it was me I would get the dress (although I would secretly buy it and hide it whilst they 'earned' it through some sticker chart thing).

My dd had a Cinderella dress and loved it for years, I love the photos of her in it - but the time when they are little is all gone too quickly and before you know it they have grown up! I would personally indulge a little!

But I do agree I do/did say 'no' a lot of the time!

I see I am a bit different here! I’m happy to explore a bit more… in a respectful way… I may have things wrong and I’m interested to hear other opinions.

To be clear, walter, It’s not the case that I don’t let my DDs have very much, I think in general I am probably a bit on the overindulgence side. But I have a particular problem with things that send boy-girl messages to very little ones, that encourage brand culture, and which have such a huge commercial drive behind them.

I can understand that for some—maybe most—people, as curious says, a princess dress seems inoffensive. I can’t quite explain, but I don’t think it is harmless. I get a little bit of a sick feeling when I see very little girls dressed up in these dresses and relatives cooing “oooh isn’t she pretty?” I wouldn’t care about this at all if 4-year-old boys commonly dressed up in them in public too. It isn’t so much about the prettiness and cuteness and focus-on-appearance that bothers me, but that it is aimed at girls. Does nobody else think it is a bit, well,... weird? When boys dress up its to do something, to be a fireman or a superhero. Not just to look nice. I simply don’t believe that it is innate in girls to want to be princesses. I think they learn it from other girls and tiny little hidden messages in our society.

Now I know I might be making too much of a little dressing up game for girls, I just think that, although it is a little tiny insy speck of a thing, it’s the start of something bigger about how girls view themselves, and I don’t want any of it. I appreciate that if you don’t feel this, you will probably just think it is all madness and silliness, because I can’t argue about this sick-at-pinkness feeling I have. Am I the only one?

(And apologies to OP for derailing the thread if the main point is about cost and overindulgence and giving in and not the Disney princess stuff itself...)

I'm not massively into princesses and tried to steer away from pink for similar reasons. But in our case I think I'd be pushing my agenda too much to actively go against something she has had so much enjoyment and imaginary play from. Would you stop a boy from playing with lego/ dressing up as superman just because its a stereotypical boy-thing?

My daughter loves her lego, trainset, tree climbing, as well as baking and making necklaces and dressing up. Her favourite dress-up for a long time was a pirate dress. She will absolutely love the elsa and anna costumes though. I try to expose her to all things rather than actively ban anything.

I've regularly done the subtle - my favourite colour is purple, and "yes there are lots of lovely colours". Or about men and women being policemen/women etc. I'm also happy she likes frozen :) I love the bit where one of the characters is agahst she wants to marry a guy she just met... and that doesn't all end up with a fairytale ending! I like the adventure story side of it, that there's lots of memorable songs and that its about sisters.

Hi gerald, oh no I wouldn't stop a boy from playing with lego, and I don't have an absolute ban on princess costumes, and I think Frozen is great. I just subtly (or perhaps not so subtly) push DDs from some products and ideas. Sounds similar really.

22.99

www.smythstoys.com/disney-frozen-1316sc/disney-frozen-elsa-deluxe-dress-up-135130itm.aspx

have a look on Etsy

www.etsy.com/search?q=elsa%20dress&ref=auto1

Thankfully I have no DD, as I 'm not sure how I would deal with all of this, I'm not a girly girl. My DSs LOVE Frozen too, thankfully they haven't been asking for the sven character costume.

... I meant to say, and I'd rather buy an inspired, or handmade version, than the mass-produced by toy stores/brands.

we found that introducing pocket money in reception, and getting them to use birthday money to top up helped to manage peer pressure/fads. dd1 has been a lot less keen to have whatever the latest thing is now that she appreciates the opportunity cost in terms of roald dahl books or build a bear trips.

also, we went with the flow when dd1 entered the disney princess phase at about 3.5, and she'd grown out of it by the grand old age of 6, like most of her friends, so I wouldn't overthink the whole princess thing.

DD1 (6.5) hit the princess stage at about the same stage and before Easter I would have said she had well and truly left it behind. However, the Frozen dvd came out and she is head first back into it. I can't bring myself (or afford) to spend £40 on a dress but they she has a t shirt, pyjamas etc and seems happy with that.

kilo - I'm with you - I too think the whole admiration for looks over brains, subservent kindness over tough inner strenght, starts with the ridiculous tarting up of girls.
The whole notion that they should titter about in plastic heals and fanny around with fru-fru nonsense in order to be valued and preened at by friends and family is vomit worthy.
Parents buying into this rubbish, arsing about with hunting down the affordable versions etc is just pathetic and weak.
OP - learn to say no.

TA - I could do the whole 'my DD loves cars, and Lego and monster trucks, but also likes Princesses!'

But I'm going to be honest. She Loves princesses. She loves Disney. She really loves Frozen and she really Really loves Elsa.

This makes her a more subservient, frilly person in your mind?

Rubbish. She's a very smart, kind, well behaved, well rounded child. I find your comment offensive.

I think most of this shit is sprouted by people who couldn't find or afford a Frozen dress.

Now flame me

Rubbish. She's a very smart, kind, well behaved, well rounded child. I find your comment offensive.

Yes to this. Girls are actually allowed to enjoy these things, as are the boys. I feel a bit sorry for the kids who are denied things they might actually like because of their parents fear of them being weak and pathetic. I think that attitude is pathetic and way OTT. Poor kids.

Liking a particular outfit is one thing - it's the roleplay and reactions that I dislike. Children dressing up as fire/police people pretend to save people and be helpful. Superheroes ditto. Children 'being princesses' put on a dress and pretend to.... do what? That they're more pretty than they are? That people will fawn over them for being sparkly?
I did read about someone recently who was trying to subvert princess sparkle-obsession by reminding their princess that she would be running the kingdom when she grew up, so would ask for her opinions on public policy and social issues. Which I'll try to copy, though dd is actually way more into dinosaurs and vehicles so far.

I work for Disney and I did buy DD Disney stuff sometimes, but tbh she was a bit about it after a while. I don't like the past ones but if DD wanted a Maleficent, Frozen or Brave themed toy, I'd be happy as I think those showcase strong women I also don't see the princess problem- DD went through a phase of wanting to be a princess, but as long as she knew that being a princess was the same as being a prince, and you'd get to ride horses and fight dragons exactly the same, then I don't care much.

IME, a princess dress is no inhibitor to running, climbing, or generally having fun.

Silly plastic dressing up shoes OTOH are lethal and are one of very few things that I would have removed if DD had been given them. Fortunately I must have made my feelings very clear, because no one ever has given her any, and now she has reached a stage when all the best princesses wear Converse .

Mrsjavierbardem - sorry not read entire thread (think it might've got abit stressy mid-thread!), but just thought I'd share an idea we have started doing in order for our DC to 'earn' desired things being purchased for them away from birthdays and christmas:

We have a list stuck on our fridge of various jobs / chores around the house, and their value. So, for example, laying the tea table is worth 20pence, clearing the table is worth 20p, helping put away shopping 25p, sorting washing 30p etc etc.

If our kids desperately want something, we get them doing chores and earning money. Yes, it will probably take an eternity to get them earning enough for a frozen costume, but if you say to them that they need to earn, say £5, then you'll contribute the rest, it could be a start?

This works really well for our kids - we don't generally buy them anything 'expensive' other than bday / xmas. If they want something in between, they need to 'earn' whatever it is they want. Similar to a reward chart I guess, but DS in yr2 is into adding up money (been doing it at school) so we started on the money thing and our YR DD loves it too!

Ps Why does everyone want to be Elsa and not Anna? DD & a friend had a huge barny the other day about who was going to be Elsa as neither wanted to be Anna....what's wrong with poor ANna??

Notcitrus-what's the difference between a superhero and elsa? Ime it's the 'ice powers' that are so alluring and coveted. Elsa hardly prances around being a typical frilly princess does she?!

i am oblivious to all this excitement about frozen as we don't watch many films. so for those uneasy with the merchandising i can recommend avoidance as a good strategy.

generally i am with kilo and i wish we could treat our kids more even handedly. " We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters." Gloria Steinem

Take her to a Frozen singalong or Make her something Frozen that's cheap unique.

My reception child wouldn't ask me for anything. She did ask her Dad but he said since everyone has one, the charity shops will be full of them in a few months and she might be able to afford one with her pocket money.

Anyway, Elsa's knees are where he feet shoukd be!

I don't think half dd's class has seen the film either tricot but they still all play frozen at playtime. I don't think it hurts to give your child a bit of social cache sometimes.
And I don't mean by buying an expensive dress-there are plenty of cheaper things-dd has frozen jibbitz in her crocs for example & I printed out the song lyrics for let it go which have been pored over by her and her friends.

If she really loves it and you can afford it I'd just get it. It's not like it's going to be something different next week this frozen thing is here to stay for a bit h think. She's only little and in no time she'll think dressing up is lame

You don't have to have seen the film. My DS went through a stage of "loving" Ben10 at about 5, including wanting me to make him a ben10 costume for some party or other, and I know he hadn't seen it at home because I had blocked all the Nickolodean channels . I would bet a fair proportion of the "my DC know nothing of those things" parents that their DC are playing these games in the playground anyway.

Dh is adamant we shouldn't give in, he objects on principle but says ok for her bday or Xmas. It's gonna be tough but I am sure not every girl will have one as no one seems to be able to buy one at the moment!
Great feedback, much appreciated.