Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Original poster

Repeating reception

168 replies

Wobblypig · 13/05/2014 21:37

Dd is really struggling in reception. She is only just managing easier yellow band ort books , she is scoring really poorly in her spelling tests and the teacher is always pointing out the things she can't do. Yesterday it was that she can't distinguish between a cube and a cuboid.
She is only 4 , 5 next week, our whole after school time is spent doing spellings, reading and other work set by the school. She is in 2 SEN classes at school. It is really worrying me that we are spending so much time and getting so little improvement. I really think she just isn't ready for this and will struggle even more in yr 1.
I would really like to hold her back to improve her confidence. It is an independent school, so theoretically it is possible.

Any advice, anyone done similar? Did it turn out well?

OP posts:
OutsSelf · 13/05/2014 22:37

You could flexi-nanny, perhaps?

The Steiner-ish school sounds fab, definitely put her down for it howsoever you spend the time between now and then...

fairyfuckwings · 13/05/2014 22:38

Crikey my daughter's in year 1 and only on yellow books. I was told last parents evening she was in the top part of the class! Am worried now!

I know she's a year ahead in maths and it was only last week she started on 3d shapes.

And spellings only started this year (my daughter's not great at spelling to be honest).

cece · 13/05/2014 22:39

Shocked, my ds2 is 5 next week. He has just been moved up to red books and his teacher told me how well he was doing as a result. I listen to readers in his class and there are only two children out of 30 on yellow books. They are the G&T children tbh.

Biscuitsneeded · 13/05/2014 22:49

Go and visit your local state school. It doesn't matter what Ofsted say if it's a place where your daughter will thrive and be happy. She sounds perfectly normal and this school she's in sounds awful.

TheNumberfaker · 13/05/2014 22:50

MyFirstName your definition is slightly wrong:

"Answer (for those that like me weren't quite sure)
The difference between a cube and a cuboid is that a cube has all three dimensions (length, breadth and height) of equal measure while a cuboid has at least two dimensions which are of different measurements. All the six faces of a cube are always squares, but it is not necessary that all the six faces of a cuboid are squares. A cube is a cuboid but the converse is not true."

You have contradicted yourself saying that at least 2 dimensions are of different measurements!

A cuboid is a box-shaped solid object. It has six flat sides, all angles are right angles and all of its faces are rectangles.j

A cube is a special case of cuboid where all of its faces are squares.

(A square is a special case of rectangle where all the sides are the same length! )

OP your child sounds very normal to me. Definitely above average, especially for a summer term born!

Original poster
Wobblypig · 13/05/2014 23:07

Biscuits, that is the problem. We can walk to 7 state schools but are 34th on the waiting list . I have visited 10primary schools in the borough and contact the council regularly re spaces.

OP posts:
northlondoncat · 13/05/2014 23:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Martorana · 13/05/2014 23:42

Why would you want her in this school for a single second longer?

ToT0 · 14/05/2014 00:44

This post made me a bit sad. It reminded me of the independent school I went to, which was a highly academic hothouse. I was made to repeat reception at the age of five. I clearly remember crying when my Mum read a school report to me at the time saying my handwriting and spelling was atrocious. My parents, who both left school at 15, were desperate for me to stay there because they thought it was the best education I could get. I still think it was an excellent school academically and I was very lucky to go but it sure wasn't great for self esteem.
I realise your DD's birthday is relatively late in the year but unless she was born right at the back end of August, from personal experience, I wouldn't ask her to repeat reception unless you really can't avoid it.
I received top grades at school, went to a great university and have a good job in a very competitive field but I've often felt my achievements are a fluke. I do think being moved back a year has a part to play in that - although I'm of course others may respond very differently. Throughout my school career, right up until the age of 18, I was often reminded by my classmates (and frequently their parents) that I was at a significant advantage in exams etc because I was a year older. People I know from my school days still go on about me being kept back to this day.(I'm now in my early 30s FFS!!) I'm sure repeating can be the right thing if the future consequences for your DD are properly thought out. But I just wanted to point out from my own experience that the impact of such a move on your daughter could last much longer than a single year.

Primafacie · 14/05/2014 03:51

My DD is in reception at WHS and she has never had a spelling test! I think describing it as a London 'hothouse' is rather unfair - it is a lovely, caring school which accommodates quite a range of abilities, even though it is selective. Likewise PHS where I think there is no homework at all in early years.

I would suggest having a look at WHS and seeing if you might be put on the waiting list for year 1. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.

NotCitrus · 14/05/2014 04:02

Are the schools with spaces really bad? Have you visited them ? Near me, reputations are at least 5 years behind reality. Sounds like you have a perfectly normal but unhappy child with a nasty teacher who isn't teaching phonics properly and blaming the children. In a class where she's in the top half, she could thrive, you could stop fretting about homework, and supplement the school with extra fun stuff like music and sport instead.

mumster79 · 14/05/2014 04:25

The IB PYP would judge this completely differently. It sounds like she is absolutely fine. She could very well be put off reading and writing if she's being made to do so before she's ready. What is a four year old doing in SEN classes??? She's four!

If helps to know, of my three dc's: one was reading fluently aged three - he was desperate to read, the second was not AT ALL interested until five and a half years old, but now reads fluently, the third started to be interested at four. They are all equally able, it's just when the trigger happens!

Is she happy? Would she prefer you play together / curl up together for a cuddle?

Good luck!

vociferous · 14/05/2014 04:27

3D Shapes, halving and spelling test etc in reception class? Hmm I think the school is being a little over optimistic about the abilities of the reception children. They should be playing in sand pits and learning how to make friends and finding their way in the new school environment.

I think a talk with your DD's class teacher would be a good idea and if you aren't happy with the response then you could ask to speak with the head teacher.

As for changing schools, it would be very disruptive for her at such a young age and the fact that she's only just started in school. IMHO another change would just make the situation ten times as bad.

Good Luck with this!

fuckwitteryhasform · 14/05/2014 05:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jenny70 · 14/05/2014 05:42

This is hard, because regardless of what reception children "should" be doing, the message you (and she) are getting from school is she is not up to scratch... which is a terrible message for someone so young. Seems to me the school is the wrong fit, not the class/year group.

I hear you that places aren't available at other schools, but do you feel the other schools are a better fit for her? Can you see examples of work in the classroom that look at "her level", or do they seem similar.

With repeating reception, although it can be fanastic for their confidence at 5yrs old, also think of the long term consquences at secondary - she'll be older than all her peers. Not that this is a bad situation, but worth considering the "long game" for her education, rather than just this year and next, might it be she will click and "catch up"?

Personally, I'd stick it with her classmates a bit longer, but keep the other school options ticking along - if/when another place comes up, then see where she's at and whether a different school would suit her better.

3bunnies · 14/05/2014 07:37

I wouldn't hesitate to move her if space was available somewhere else. Lots of children move in reception/yr 1 and fit right in. Reading seems to be like a light bulb, it switches on randomly some time between 3&7. For dd1 it was when she was 6/7 but now at 9 she is at the same level as others who were free readers in reception.They don't usually test for dyslexia until at least 7 simply because it is completely normal not to read until then. (I am in no way saying that she has dyslexia as she is making good progress). Ds is reading 2-3yrs above his age but his peers will catch up with him. They seem to me a similar level of intelligence, however ds has more self confidence due to being ahead.

Some sort of flexi schooling sounds like a better idea than repeating reception (although not a lucrative for the school who might be hoping for an extra year's fees). You can get much more done on a 1:1 basis than the class teacher can on a 1:12 or 1:18 ratio.

Lamere · 14/05/2014 09:22

So sorry that your daughter is going through this, sounds very hard on her. It's remarkably early to be doing spellings (thought that came in Y1) and yellow band sounds like good progress to me. Sympathise with you as my DC is turning 5 next month and nearly the youngest in the class - it's remarkable the difference in youngest and oldest…children in his are writing complete sentences and he is getting to grips with letters.

Xihha · 14/05/2014 10:02

DD's on yellow band reading books and her spelling tests aren't great either and at her independent school that's considered behind too.

What support are the school offering her? DD's teacher sent us a list of things we could do at home to help DD like making the spellings into a song which seems to be working so far and she is having 1 on 1 sessions with a teacher twice a week. Reading is just one of those things that will click when it wants to but if the school are worried you should have a detailed plan of how they will help with the other stuff rather than just a list of what she cant do.

tbh it sounds like the teacher is quick to criticise but lacks any practical ideas so keeping her in that class another year would more likely damage her confidence rather than build it up.

SaveTheMockingBird · 14/05/2014 10:06

We were told that 3D shapes, halving and doubling up to 10 (or is it 20 I can't remmber) is infact part of the curriculum now. The curriculum has changed this year and Reception aged children are expected to achieve more now.
Not had a spelling test yet though!
DS who is Autumn born is on yellow books (although reading fluently so ready to move up), so I think your DD is doing fine, considering she is not even 5 yet.
Your DD's schools approach seems to be very extreme and not a very encouraging environment at all. I wouldn't hesistate to move her to another school.

LIZS · 14/05/2014 10:12

The problem is with the school not your dd. To pigeon hole such a young child as SEN and focus only on the negatives is really harsh and would make me question it as a long term option. The ability range of young children is vast, partly due to age and partly due to the variable rate they mature and a good school would recognise and nurture that.

mummytime · 14/05/2014 10:29

I would go back to all the schools again, and maybe even take a school further away.
To help her yourself there are a number of schemes (I used Reading Reflex with my children) that you can use.

The problem is: they are not teaching her just using phonics; and they are not letting her spell phonetically which is what reception age children should be working towards. You cannot learn to spell every word in English by rote, you need to learn to spell most phonetically (and often know the alternatives which make sense, and then see which one looks "right"). Then after this you start to learn the irregular ones.

The problem is not your DD but the school.

Geraldthegiraffe · 14/05/2014 10:41

Doesn't the LEA have a responsibility to find a place for your daughter? Surely any state school will be better than this??

Bumpsadaisie · 14/05/2014 11:42

?? My DD, who everyone says is very bright and exceeding expectations and the top of YR for the academic stuff, is reading yellow band! Granted she can do so easily and its high time she was on a higher band but in our school yellow band is good! Some of them are still on pink ...

They don't do spellings and I am sure they are not doing cubes/cuboids!

Its a state school though, and, reading between the lines, the teacher does not believe in pushing YRs, as it is a time for playing and socialising.

It sounds like a school with very high expectations. If your DD was in our school (which does regularly send people to the selective grammars and do level 6 SATs) she would be one of the more able.

Bumpsadaisie · 14/05/2014 11:49

PS don't forget OP, being on green band at age 4 is no predictor of success in later life.

What is a predictor of success is where a child is allowed to develop at their own pace, develop a deep sense of self esteem and confidence, explore their own particular interests and talents, learn to negotiate and get on with people, how to both fit and and be assertive when needed. These are the things our YRs need, not to be on white books before they are 5.

A child who has these things goes through life with a pot of gold to draw on and is far more likely to be successful than a child who has rushed through the book bands or the curriculum just for the sake of it.

bluewisteria · 14/05/2014 12:50

Sorry you've had so many problems Thanks

Have you spoken to the school - head and teacher together - in a meeting? I think if they realised you were going to pull your child out, they might approach her differently?

It might buy you time before a place comes up at your ideal school? And it may be less disruptive for your daughter, assuming the teacher pulls her socks up about her attitude to your child?

Is she happy there?