Repeating reception

[Wobblypig]

Dd is really struggling in reception. She is only just managing easier yellow band ort books , she is scoring really poorly in her spelling tests and the teacher is always pointing out the things she can't do. Yesterday it was that she can't distinguish between a cube and a cuboid.
She is only 4 , 5 next week, our whole after school time is spent doing spellings, reading and other work set by the school. She is in 2 SEN classes at school. It is really worrying me that we are spending so much time and getting so little improvement. I really think she just isn't ready for this and will struggle even more in yr 1.
I would really like to hold her back to improve her confidence. It is an independent school, so theoretically it is possible.

Any advice, anyone done similar? Did it turn out well?

[dixiechick1975]

Contact your local authority and apply for a year 1 place for September.

Your child is entitled to a state school place and they will have to allocate her one with free transport if too far. She legally needs to be receiving an education from September so they can't fob you off.

Not unusual to move to state after reception - some do when early years funding and ability to pay with childcare vouchers stops at DD's school plus places pop up at school on waiting list for.

DD is at a non selective prep and nothing you have said sounds right to me.

In the interim - can you or DH take any leave or unpaid leave? Not long until the end of term.

[2cats2many]

Gosh. I'd be delighted if my DS was on yellow book bands.

[starlight1234]

Can I aslo suggest you get your name on waiting list for any you think suitable...Go visit the other schools. My DS's school had need to improve from Ofsted. It is a lovely school where all kids feel safe. It now has good grade from Ofsted. The staff worked very hard to improve it but also money went into the school to help with some issues in some ways they had no room to be complacent and worked hard. I am very happy with my son there and was when he was there and it required improvement

[crypticbow08]

Spelling tests in reception is ridiculous. Ds,5, does very well at school but he cannot spell at all. His teacher says they'd only expect phonetically plausible spellings in reception. Reception should be play based, your dds school sounds very formal and like it has much too high an expectation of its pupils.

If I were you, id go at your daughters pace, and stop doing so much school based work after school, and probably be looking into whether this school is really right for your dd.

[RiversideMum]

Your child does not have SEN. Sorry, but the school sounds awful.

[Wobblypig]

Thanks for all the replies, I agree with what has been said. The annoying thing is that we picked this school because it had a reputation for being laid back and locally it is shunned by pushier types.

I really hate that DD has been labelled a failure at 4 .

Today I arranged a further chat with her teacher ; her SEN teacher and the head of early years.
We remain on the waiting list for 5 local schools.

[Geraldthegiraffe]

What are the lea offering? Surely they have to offer a place if you say you want one/planning to withdraw from private. They cant not educate.

[Wobblypig]

A school a way off in special measures is what we were offered hence we went down the route of waiting lists

[2468Motorway]

Is your dd happy in this school? Does she know what they think about her work?

[Hawkshaw]

locally it is shunned by pushier types

Well, if I wanted my child to do well I would shun it too! I don't think their approach seems like the best way to get a child to learn well and shine at academic work. It seems, honestly, like a recipe for anxious underperforming unhappy kids.

Special measures isn't necessarily the curse it sounds like. Schools in special measures tend to get a lot of extra support to improve. Have you seen the school you were offered? Was it really that bad? Was it so bad that it might actually tell a perfectly average child that they had SEN?

[GreatJoanUmber]

I'm a bit surprised by the outrage of so many MNers about spelling tests, cuboids and halving?

My DS1 is at a small state primary (reception year) and he's got weekly spelling tests, they did cubes/cuboids/ all sorts of other 2d/3d shapes at the end of last year, and last term they started doubling, halving and quartering.

I don't find this too much or too pushy at all, DS is enjoying school and loves going, he still has time to build 1000 junk models a week and to play/ socialise.
Granted, as it's a very small school, they very much adept to each child's individual needs and abilities and I'm not sure that all of the children in his class have the spelling tests (he only learns three new words a week, so it's not hard).

I think what's wrong with the OP's school is that they do not take her daughter's needs into account and push her regardless. And the down talking of course - how could a teacher say that about a reception child? I'd agree with what has been said before and try to switch schools.

[AmberTheCat]

For me, it's not the idea of doing those things in Reception that alarms me (great that your DS's school is introducing things at a pace that suits him), but the suggestion that, if a 4 year old was struggling with them, there must be something wrong with her, and the astonishingly negative way the teacher is talking about her.

I keep thinking about this thread and feeling so sad for your DD, OP, and angry that the teacher/school think that this is an appropriate way to treat a 4 year old.

[Wobblypig]

GreatJoan, dd has 12 spellings per week. 3 we could cope with.

[Martorana]

Well, I'm outraged about spelling tests at any agebecause they have been shown to have no impact at all on a child's ability to spell. Schools do them because parents like them.

However it's not what is being offered in this reception class that is the issue- it is that the OP's school appears to have a one size fits all reception curriculum and her child is being labelled a failure because it does not suit her at the moment. Which is outrageous. And why, if she was my child, she would not be going back there.

[Polkadotscarf]

I'm a year 1 teacher and it sounds like your child is being pushed beyond what is normally expected of a child in year R. I would question the school and not your child's ability...

[Lioninthesun]

You sound You sound like you live in my area. Having a similar dilemma with DD's choices of school next year. We are near a special needs school which appears to be the only in our catchment despite 2 others being within 2 miles they get oversubscribed and have said as we are on the outer limits of their old catchments we probably won't get in but to apply anyway! I have been looking into other options as back up.
There is an indie here which is supposed to be non-pushy and another indie which gets high 11+ scores. Having been to see both I actually think the children at the supposedly non-pushy school looked far more stressed and their work was constantly shown to me only if it was perfect. They have around 35 pupils in each year. I left thinking DD wouldn't be able to keep up or fit in at reception. I could already feel the pressure!
The supposedly pushier school actually showed me top and bottom of the class and explained how they keep kids in the loop and don't exclude if they don't make the grade (something that was hinted at at the other school although for the senior years). I suppose what I am trying to say is there is pushy and pushy. One school may have year groups of 35 and push super hard to keep everyone at a certain level but compared to a school with only 18 in it's classes may get wore results and therefore be labelled by locals as non-pushy.

Sorry for the ramble! Is it an independent school? I am wondering if we live near each other now!

[Notcontent]

This kind of thing makes me really mad.
There is so much pressure at the moment for children to reach certain levels each year, and it seems to me the ducation system has completely failed to acknowledge that at age 4/5/6 individual children are at very different stages of development.
My dd is very smart. But at the end of reception she couldn't really read at all. She just didn't get it and wasn't ready to get it. Fast forward and aged 8 she is an excellent reader.

[SapphireMoon]

When I first read the op I thought it was an odd joke.
Op your child is clearly doing well for Reception level and the school could damage her love of learning badly.
I would seriously think about changing schools.

[Galena]

DD is very unusual in her class. She has been working with y1 and y2 during the year. She gets 12 spellings a week from her phonics group (y2) and copes as she has a phenomenal memory. She knows about 2d and 3d shapes and could probably do cube/cuboid. In the car last night she halved 81 (Well, half of 80 is 40 and half of 1 is a half, so is it 40 and a half, mummy?). She is on purple level books at school.

However, she is not the norm, she's not even just 'one of the bright ones' - she's freakily clever! I would have severe concerns about a school which is taking an average - or in fact a bright- child, and telling them they aren't making the grade.

FWIW, DD's school was in special measures a few years ago and is very much the unpopular school around, but has the most fantastic staff and ethos.

[TheHappyCamper]

I feel so sorry for you and your little DD! It sounds like in 90% of the UK's schools she would be doing really well and you have been very unlucky in your choice of school. I think some of he suggestions about part time HE/Nanny/new school at 6 are excellent. I don't think I could leave my DD there to have her confidence destroyed at 4 yeas old.

FWIW my DD is also in yR and is on yellow books. We were told she is doing really well and I am lead to believe she is average-top end of her class. For homework, she gets one sheet per week with phonics stuff on (that takes about 10 minutes), 10 minutes online Mathletics (which she thinks is a treat!) and daily reading. Sometimes she has key words to learn but never spellings.

Our aim for yR was for her to be HAPPY - the rest we know will come later.

Massive support for you here, as I think you have some difficult decisions to make shortly. Good luck.

[denialandpanic]

Ok ds is similar age (June birthday). he is confident in red ort, dreadful writing , I think his maths is quite good (teachers have mentioned it) but he uis second child and I trust the school so haven't "checked"his level etc.

another naice leafy state school with recent good Ofsted. they are perfectly happy with him and confident he will progress well. I'm happy that he enjoys school and is a confident learner.

sorry that school sounds horrible and you're paying for it. I really hope an acceptable state option comes up soon

[pyrrah]

I'd move her fast. Being made miserable and to feel a failure at such a young age is a thousand times more damaging to her education that failing a spelling test at 4.

FWIW, DD, who is regarded as extremely bright, couldn't actually be arsed with this reading malarkey until about 3 weeks ago and is now on a roll. I was rather worried that she had zero inclination to even attempt to read - the school just said that obviously dressing up and playing princesses was just more important right now and why shouldn't it be.

They're pretty happy with any attempt to write words and even just getting the first letter right gets praise and encouragement. The school gets over 20% of the kids getting L6 at KS2 in Maths and English (with over 80% EAL and over 70% FSM) so I'm sitting back and trusting them to work their magic. In the meantime, DD can't wait to get there in the morning.

At this young age, children develop at their own pace - IMO, forcing a child to do things before they are ready is going to cause problems.

Please consider moving her. It sounds as if the HT is wanting to up the ante and be seen as a high achieving hot-house but is not going about it in the right way.

[bettykt]

I've been to uni and don't know the difference between a cube and cuboid and it hasn't harmed me so far . In all seriousness I have a dc in y1 and he didn't receive spellings in yR. Finished reception on yellow books which was absolutely fine. Has come on in leaps and bounds in y1 and only now receives spellings. I'm happy with his rate of progress and he's happy. This is a state school btw. In a good state school I think your dd would flourish. They will challenge her but at her pace. I hope you find findher a good alternative school soon.

[GoogleyEyes]

If you're in a hugely over subscribed area, you may be surprised how many places come up in Y1. My dd is in one of the tiny catchment area schools and so far three children have left this year (parents getting jobs abroad, mostly). So it might be worth being on even the most over subscribed schools waiting lists for Y1.

I do hope it all works out for you, it sounds like a really tough situation.

I suppose you don't have any option to move house?

[bluewisteria]

Wobblypig - how did the meeting go?