Six year old son so miserable about going to school, how concerned should I be?

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DS is aged six and really does not want to go to school every day. He has been saying this since January and it has gradually got worse especially after the Easter holidays when he is now crying about going in.

I have spoken with his teacher and she says he is ok when at school but when I ask him he says that the day is too long. I ask about play times and he says he finds them boring.

He is a quieter boy and mixes well with all kids but is not keen on loud, 'show offs' (his words) but can rub along with them. I have watched him at parties and he is able to get along with most people. But I can see from many of the boys in his class he is quieter than most but not a complete 'shrinking violet' as he plays a lot of sport and manages ok with the physicality of this!!!!

I am worried as this does not see to be improving and would be grateful if others could offer their experiences or advice if they have had similar with their children. Academically he is getting on ok and progressing it seems to be the social side that he is not enjoying which seems a shame as he is unhappy.

Thanks

It's so hard isn't it, trying to gauge the appropriate level of concern and whether this is a passing phase or not. But I am adamant that I don't want DS's current disaffection to become the norm for him. I don't want him to go through school with everything being a battle.

DS is very immature and young for his age, and while I recognise that this is a factor, there is only so long that you keep playing this card. I don't want his apathy for school to become the default for his entire educational journey. But it's just finding the ways in which we can engage him.

I think for my DS he just needs that little added push to get him engaged and boost his confidence. But in a class of 30 I think these relatively low-level additional needs are (although very likely recognised) unfortunately overlooked because the teacher simply doesn't have the time or has "bigger fish to fry". In our meeting today the headmaster and year teacher admitted that DS made very little progress in the first term of Year 1. This didn't surprise me but did annoy me that we hadn't been made aware of this. I have repeatedly voiced my concerns throughout Reception and Year 1 at Parents Evening and have always been told that i shouldn't worry. They are not saying that we should worry. But I wonder how long they would allow him to coast along if we hadn't raised our own concerns.

rollergirl1 Thanks for your post. It is interesting as my son had a similar scenario at the start of year one where he actually went down to a different table as he was not doing anything. Like you we were shocked by this. Then he began to make progress as he could see he was more able than the children on his table and this boosted his confidence.

I agree that I do not want him to go through school as a chore and therefore underachieve as a result. I am not seeing this in him (his reading is very good and his maths seems good too). The teachers are pushed with a class of thirty and I think much of the TA time is spent with those that need more one to one or who are disruptive.

I am going to see how things progress this week before arranging to speak with the teacher to see what their observations are.

I am convinced it is not bullying and that part of his behaviour is translating to other areas of his life at the moment. I am hoping it is a phase and that my consistent and caring approach will help be the 'rock' that he needs. But it does not take much to unsettle him as his ego is quite fragile!