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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Would we get this day off authorised, what do you think?

61 replies

TwistedMelon · 10/04/2014 20:55

DS is 11 and in Y6. We have just been told that some surprise celebrations have been arranged for a family member (a close family member) who is 70 in a few weeks. There is to be a meal on a friday evening and a day out on the saturday, with as much of the extended family as possible gathered. Many of the family live in the same city and those who don't are fairly nearby and also childfree, so not a problem for most of them to get there! Some other relatives who live abroad are flying over - DS has only met them twice, both times at funerals. They will be staying arriving thursday and leaving sunday morning. The city this will all take place in is 4 hours away from us, plus another hour getting across the city to the area they live in.

I want to take DS down to London for the weekend, leaving friday morning. The family that are flying over are rarely in the country and I want DS to get to meet them under better circumstances than at a funeral! So am planning to ask the head if she will authorise the day off - but, is this likely? Or would I be better off saying nothing and calling him in sick that day? The weekend in question is right before SATs week so worrying that this will affect head's decision...

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Wolfiefan · 10/04/2014 20:59

Please don't lie.
You should go after school, go on Saturday or explain to school why your child won't be in on Friday and accept it may not be authorised.

TheGruffalo2 · 10/04/2014 21:06

I think it is unlikely to be authorised, but you won't know unless you ask.

dozily · 10/04/2014 21:10

I think it would be authorised at our school. Be honest, ask for the day off school. The worst that can happen is that it does not get authorised in which case you'll have to decide whether to change your plans or take an unauthorised day. But don't feign illness.

thenightsky · 10/04/2014 21:17

Pick him up that Friday and head off straight from school so hours don't get wasted packing and messing about.

jerryfudd · 10/04/2014 21:21

Wouldn't be authorised at our school. So either ask and take as unauthorised, don't take at all or schedule him to be "ill" that day

Winterwardrobetime · 10/04/2014 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hazelnut55 · 10/04/2014 21:27

I doubt very much it will be authorised, and ringing in sick is condoning dishonesty to your son. In any case he will, no doubt, let the cat out of the bag on the Monday.

The best thing to do, would be to ask nicely if you can collect him at 2pm on the Friday afternoon, to meet long, lost relatives. This will at least give you a head start in missing the traffic and cannot be unauthorised as your son will be present for afternoon registration.

Original poster

TwistedMelon · 10/04/2014 21:32

We live v rurally and the nearest train station is 1 hours drive, plus time for parking etc as the car park is usually jam packed, and I can't afford peak time tickets (this is not an excuse - there's a price difference of nearly 100 quid for the pair of us!) so would need to be on train before 3pm as peak time is between 3 and 7. I guess maybe taking him out at lunchtime might work.

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Original poster

TwistedMelon · 10/04/2014 21:36

Sorry should point out I am not driving all the way because the traffic will be horrific and it will be no cheaper than an off peak train ticket. Plus relatives live in controlled parking zone so nightmare to park when we get there.

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ChocolateWombat · 10/04/2014 21:39

Probably wouldn't be considered exceptional. This is because the event could have been organised for a weekend day or holiday day. Exceptional refers to events which can only occur in term time. A funeral has to happen when it does, so is exceptional. Family parties and gatherings do not have to happen on a Friday.

You can ask and put your case for this being a 1 off opportunity to meet family. However, your child will be with them for the rest of the weekend.

You can say that you are requesting permission. Do it in good time, not a couple of days before. If they say no, you can write again to say you have decided to go anyway and point out your exemplary attendance record (if you have one) and that you will not be expecting to do this again. And apologise in any letters sent. Make it sound like a genuine request, not just a letter informing g them of what you are doing.

Wolfiefan · 10/04/2014 21:41

Sorry but the cost to you is not the fault of the school and neither is the lack of parking. I really doubt they will authorise it. If you can't afford to go on Friday after school then go Saturday.

teacherwith2kids · 10/04/2014 21:43

It won't be authorised.

BUT that doesn't mean you shouldn't go. Just accept that it isn't allowed, but you have chosen to do it anyway. Be honest with the school, and be prepared to do any catching up of what he misses.

Original poster

TwistedMelon · 10/04/2014 21:48

I don't care about him catching up, all they'll be doing is endless past SATS papers anyway but that was a whole other thread.

I am more bothered about the possibility of being finest.

OP posts:

Wolfiefan · 10/04/2014 21:49

If you can't afford a fine then don't go!

Original poster

TwistedMelon · 10/04/2014 21:50

Fined not finest. Sodding phone.

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TheScience · 10/04/2014 21:50

It won't be authorised, but I also doubt you would be fined for one day if his attendance is otherwise good.

Ruprekt · 10/04/2014 21:51

Or let him go to school in the morning and pick him up at 12.

ChocolateWombat · 10/04/2014 22:03

Personally, I would go after school. You will still have the whole weekend.

If I asked and was then turned down, I would feel obliged to go to school. This is because I take their authority over these things seriously. I don't think you would actually get fined for just 1 day, but the principle of sticking to the rules is important to me. I believe the rule applies to everyone, and that if this is not judged exceptional, my child should be in school, just like everyone else.

The fact you say you are not worried about missing work because 'all' they will be doing is SATS practice worries me, to be honest. It maybe a vital day....or not, as parents we just don't know, which is why every day is important, not just the ones which are convenient for us. Sorry if sounds extreme...I feel strongly about school attendance. Your child is able to go to school AND meet the family, so do BOTH!

Bunbaker · 10/04/2014 22:07

If it is close to the SATS I doubt very much that it will be authorised.

Lovemyfriends · 10/04/2014 22:13

Imagine you asked your boss for the day/afternoon off, and he/she said no. Would you still go? No. This is just the same.

Ask for permission, and if it is given then go, and if the answer is no, go after school or the next day. Yes, it may be more expensive, but that's just hard luck.

littleblackno · 10/04/2014 22:15

I'd just take him, family time is very important and I really don't buy into the propaganda being spouted off about a day off school is going to be detrimental to any childs education. (Most teachers I know don't believe it either)
If you're that worried about a fine then phone in sick, your son doesn't need to know you've done that. Yes I know i'll get flamed for saying that but really criminalising a parent for wanting to spend time with family who are travelling long distances for an exceptional event, is teaching a far worse lesson to kids - IMHO.

Lovemyfriends · 10/04/2014 22:24

Little, it is not a question of any particular day being detrimental. It is the attitude that school can be dipped in and out of, depending on other engagements. Most people don't do it, and it is not right. It sends the wrong message about the importance of education.

Skimty · 10/04/2014 22:31

DC's school are fine if they're in for afternoon registration and then go straight afterwards. They don't even need to make a note of it. I've taken them at 1.30 without any question. In fact, the half day at end of term is not technically a half day according to attendance figures.

Dancergirl · 10/04/2014 22:47

I would take a sickie, sorry

pancakesfortea · 10/04/2014 22:48

At our school they are pretty relaxed if you can make sure they are still there for afternoon registration. So there's a world of difference between an absence (which they get clobbered for) and leaving at 2pm to catch a train.

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