Private - is it worth it?

[racmun]

Ds is due to start Reception in September. He attends the preps at a private school and is thriving there eg writing his name, starting to read and most importantly he loves it there.

He's the youngest in the class and doesn't turn 4 until August which is one of the reasons we like the school- they guarantee no more than 18 in the class and have a teacher and full time TA so lots of individual attention.

BUT we live in an area with really good state schools,

A few of my friends keep banging on at me that it's a waste of money to go private and that the state schools are just good.

We have applied and in all reality expect to be offered a place at an ouststanding school albeit one that is bursting at the seams (it takes in double the number it was designed for).

I really like the private school but am now worrying that we will be 'wasting' about £800 a month.

So those of you with children at private prep schools why did you make the choice and would you do it again?

Thank you

But, Starball., you're assuming that its all about getting the highest grades. That's not what everyone is looking for in a school. For me the idea of sending my kids to a grammar school esp my brighter two makes me shiver. For me it's all about the journey; the school experience.
As wordfactory says, the beauty if the independent sector is choice. It's not all about spending your money wherever you'll get the biggest returns on paper.

We turned down a place at both a state grammar and a highly selective private for DD.

That's not what she wanted.

DS has gone to the most absurdly selective school in the land .

Horses for courses, innit?

Yes, I'm becoming increasingly concious of the fact that what I want for them may not be what they want for themselves. The irony is that the one who is clearly G&T would definitely do better at the non selective 'all about the experience' school that I love. Whereas his very bright but just normally bright brother would probably love the grammar school environment.

You won't get into a good grammar or secondary without a private prep around here. Definitely better to do private primary.

Why wouldn't you get into a secondary without going to prep voyage? Are they all selective??

Really Voyage? Most of the children at the super-selective West Kent grammars my brother and sister are at went to state primaries (although most did have tutoring)

I agree with the poster above who mentioned cost/benefit. The little bit extra that you might get at a private school school compared to DD1's comp (high achieving 91% 5 A*-C inc maths and English, excellent drama, art and sport too) would not be worth it to For us TBH. However, it would have been very different if we hadn't got this school and she had had to go to our catchment school. The cost/benefit of the private school would have looked very different then.

It's not just the school, it's also the intake of children that year. DS started at the nearest state primary as I quite liked it and all our neighbours said it was great. DS had a lousy experience. There was significant bullying and the headteacher took an ostrich stance.

We had no plans to send DS to a private school but that is where he is in year 5. He is settled and happy because it's just a good fit. He loves the sport, the wider circle of friends and having some male teachers.

cohort in small state primaries can make a huge difference.

We have had bright DCs go private because they stood out and felt uncomfortable and unchallenged.

Conversely in DD2's class there were 4 bright DCs and not one and they happily bounced of each other.

This group had no real bullies or disruptive DCs, so the teacher had time to differentiate really well.

DD1's cohort,however ...

I always find it funny when people say their DCs are bored in reception because they are clever. We have a child in school at the moment who is the closest thing to a genius we have ever seen. He had a marvellous time in reception and was always totally absorbed in projects of his own devising. It's what alerted us to his academic abilities in the first place.

It depends on the child and the two schools - and how much 800 is worth to you. If you and your child are happy with the current arrangement and 800 a month is easily affordable, why change?

I couldn't be happier with DDs state infant school. I have a friend who is removing their child from a local private school because the differentiation is non-existent.
Others may have different stories.

Why is it funny Riverside Mum? Does your experience make mine (DD misbehaving through boredom in reception) invalid? You do know that all kids are different?

OP - What you need to do is look much further ahead and work backwards:

What type of secondary school do i want dc to end up at? State or private?. If state; grammar or comp? If grammar you have 2 choices, do they prep children for the 11+ Common entrance exam, if not move to state and perhaps top up with some private tutoring.

If you have the local comp in mind then there's not much point in attending prep school unless if course you're just awash with money.

If private, will it be public school that starts in year 9 or at 7?

If private at yr 7, is your state primary good enough to get dc into the independent school (if its selective) Maybe consider some private tutoring to top up in year 5.

If public school, then attending state primary will be almost out of the question unless dc goes to state pry up to yr 2 and switches back to prep by yr 3 otherwise stay at the prep (if it goes up to yr 8 otherwise switch preps to one that does).

The area I live in may be strange (London) but round here if you want to guarantee a local school it has to be private - the state schools are so oversubscribed that if you don't get into one of the nearby ones then your DC could be placed anywhere in the borough (in theory). It is also incredibly hard to call at the moment what the situation will be in a few years' time, because of the high birth rate, lots of housing being built, new (untried) academy primaries opening up etc.

Basically it all seems so stressful to wait and see what the state will provide us with and I think you get less than 6 months' notice of the place you are offered? That doesn't give time to change jobs really and DH and I cannot do ours without the before and after school care (we are both teachers, ironic eh..)

The main attraction to me is that the private schools take the wrap-around care seriously and it is always offered, whereas at the state schools it seems to be luck of the draw. The private schools also seem to take individual interest in where your DC hopes to go on to and will prepare them for that. I asked about 11+ preparation at a meeting about a new academy primary and they did answer the question (no) but I got rather a face - it didn't seem like an unreasonable question when we are surrounded by grammars!

OP, sorry to go off track but if your son is happy and you can afford the fees, I'd stick with it - not worth the disruption to move him somewhere if he's happy and achieving. Who cares what your friend thinks - it's not her DC.

No results aren't all and I have a DF with the one turkey all round G&T DC I've ever met.

She got a scholarship to two different private school. For her it's perfect because she's musical, academic and sporty. Without the scholarship her family would have had a hard time paying for and transporting her to music and sporting things. It would also have impacted very hard on her siblings.

DDs best friend comes from a very MC family (but one that can only just afford private school for all the DCs with familly help). She has very clever parents, most of her extracurricular interests are outside school. She'd have done just as well at the local comp and being with boys and children of all backgrounds would take her out of the bubble that is her protected home life.

Truly -turkey-

Most children at nursery school are happy there. That's not a compelling reason for keeping them where they are. I'd only pay for private primary if I was confident that I could comfortably then pay for private secondary and university, for all DCs. If not, then primary is the one where in most cases the state provision is fine, and sometimes better than private. A child can always catch up at secondary level anyway.

It depends on your state options imo. We have very strict catchments in Scotland and we weren't happy with our choices. It was either move house and risk not getting our preferred school anyway since they are usually over subscribed or pay for private. We were going to go private for secondary whatever happened, so it just makes the transition easier.

I don't think private is always better than state, far from it. Also, there are huge differences between private schools. What suits one child won't suit another. DS's school isn't selective or high pressure, but has small class sizes and is a good place for him to find his feet. If he is very academic we would probably move him. We have very good friends who send their children to DS's school until they go to senior school and then they board somewhere else. It's not something we would want to do (or be able to afford either), but it really works for them and their children have thrived.

Of course its a huge financial commitment. We haven't had a 3rd child because we couldn't comfortably afford to educate 3 privately and save for university etc. That's not to say we don't make sacrifices though, we do.

All in all, you look at your options and make a choice. There's never a one fits all solution and people will always criticise your decision.

Of course £800 a month, which is £9600 a year, is on the low side, depending on where in the country you are. Private schools near us vary from 10-15 thousand per year in reception and go up as the child gets older (this is N London). Add £500 for a full set of uniform and school trips which get more expensive as they go up, plus extra childcare as it is more complicated with working parents if the school isn't in walking distance.

I still think it is worth it, but privately educating two children will probably add 15 years to our mortgage and hugely impact on our choice of car, holiday etc etc - some wouldn't want to make that sacrifice.

Thanks for replying everyone. We actually got a letter at the weekend asking for a further deposit so we've sat down and weighed up the options.

He's going. I didn't really get much of a feel for the outstanding state school and was pretty underwhelmed by it.

Also he's been asking all weekend to go to school so that can only be a good sign.

We want him to go to private secondary and hopefully this will give him the best start.
I am going to ignore everyone else's opinions on us 'wasting' money - it's our money to 'waste' and we don't think it is a waste.

I'll be taking the cheque in tomorrow.....

The children I know (except one) at private primaries have had various behaviour problems. The one child I knew who did not had a long commute and few children of the same sex in the small class so less peers.

totally depends on your options, state and private, in your area.

We looked at both. Were totally underwhelmed by the private options, and one outstanding state, but loved the 'good' state and 5 years later have no regrets at all - dd has grown in confidence, is blooming and doing very well academically.

But it could have been the other way around. It all depends on the child, and the school, in question.

FWIW I think you should always follow your gut feeling as it is almost always the right decision for your child, whether you pay or not.

Also FWIW we moved DD1 in Y4 to a selective private prep and we have not been disappointed at all. It well exceeds our expectations academically, pastorally, and as far as gaining an all round education.

DD1 is learning huge amounts and is a changed child. I only wish I had moved her sooner as there are many areas where she has to play catch up and it is always a bit hard to see your child struggle.

Why did you ask for advice if you were going to ignore half of it?