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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

party invitations given out in class

62 replies

Magicmum2014 · 15/01/2014 12:26

Hi, I am a serial lurker who is going to take a more active part in discussions from now on.
I was in DS2's reception class today and two girls were asked to give out their party invitations (right after show and tell so while everyone was sitting down). Those who got invitations were asked to put them in their bag, those who didn't were asked to stay sitting. More than half the class didn't get invitations so it wasn't like just one or two kids were left out.
I am wondering what people think of this policy, and what happens in other schools. I was really surprised, I assumed it was done discretely, but I guess it is also good for kids to learn that they don't get invited to everything. Now I know this, I will have a little chat with DS2 about it, he didn't seem bothered about not being invited to either party, nobody did actually, I just thought it was strange to do it so openly without any thought for the noninvited. Views welcome, thanks :)

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uptheanty · 15/01/2014 12:29

Terrible practice. Very poor

tethersend · 15/01/2014 12:32

Agreed, terrible.

2014newme · 15/01/2014 12:32

Approach teacher with your suggestion of how it could be done better

sashangel · 15/01/2014 12:33

In my childs class you put them in their homework bag and the teacher/TA puts them in the right bags to go home.

PiggyPlumPie · 15/01/2014 12:48

In our school if the whole of the class is invited then invitations can be given out in class otherwise they have to be handed out in the playground.

Seems to work fine.

nonicknameseemsavailable · 15/01/2014 12:53

we just send them in in the bag and the teacher/TA puts them in bags, noone knows unless they look in their bags as far as I know.

lljkk · 15/01/2014 13:03

I guess it is also good for kids to learn that they don't get invited to everything.

A lot of children will be convinced that they never get invited to anything. And some of them will have proof of it. :(

FCEK · 15/01/2014 13:07

In my dd school, no invitations are allowed to be handed out, which makes it hard if you don't know the kid/parent.

noramum · 15/01/2014 13:08

The teacher only hands them out by putting them in the bookbag when either all children of one gender are invited (a girl invites only all girls) or the whole class.

And this also only in Reception.

Normally the parent hands them out in the playground, we also had them as an email attachment or dropped off home.

WipsGlitter · 15/01/2014 13:16

In ours if all the class is invited the birthday child can hand them out, if only some I think the teacher puts them in the bags. Although some parents seem to hand them out in the playground.

Original poster

Magicmum2014 · 15/01/2014 13:16

Thanks for your responses. Until today I would have been confidently saying that parents/kids handed them out in the playground or they were slipped into bookbags, I never imagined there was some kind of formal invitation giving out ceremony, it was a teacher I didn';t know doing it, though the regular teacher was in the room as well.

OP posts:

Tailtwister · 15/01/2014 14:00

In DS's school they will but invitations into the children's homework bags, but only if everyone in the class is invited. They don't allow the children to hand them out in class.

If not everyone is invited then invitations need to be given out off school premises or posted.

storynanny · 15/01/2014 14:04

I used to find it annoying and unneccesarily upsetting for the uninvited little ones when I was working full time. I used to do it discreetly but really think it is not a teacher's responsibility to dish out invitations for an out of school activity.
As far as I am concerned it is a parent/carer job even if they are not taking or collecting their child. No excuse if parents are working, someone is taking children to school so they should be given out directly in the playground adult to adult. Especially as bookbags are not opened at home for days on end. In an ideal world ...

Creamycoolerwithcream · 15/01/2014 14:05

Sounds like quite a lot of teaching time is wasted giving out invitations.

WipsGlitter · 15/01/2014 14:06

Blimey, giving off school premises or posting would be a total pain. What about parents who don't do drop off for whatever reason.

storynanny · 15/01/2014 14:20

But the total pain is not the responsibilty of the teacher as it is not their party. If the parent doesn't drop the child off, then some one else does surely?

Danann · 15/01/2014 15:26

I don't think class time or teacher's/TAs time should be wasted handing invites out/putting them in book bags. Not only is it unfair on the children that are uninvited but the staff have far better things to do.

DDs class have trays in the cloakroom where their lunchbox and book bags live so parents put them in themselves when they drop the child off in the morning or give them out at the gates.

DSs school don't allow invites into school at all and a lot of children get school buses so there is no one to give it to at the school gate, the PTA do a list that you can put your number/email/address on in the first week of each year then send it out to everyone in the class so we use that or give them out at church.

Tailtwister · 15/01/2014 15:50

Blimey, giving off school premises or posting would be a total pain. What about parents who don't do drop off for whatever reason.

Then you post them. If you're not inviting the whole class it's just a matter of putting the invitations in the post, not that difficult and it doesn't matter if you drop off or not.

The children have homework every day at DS's school so when an invitation goes in it should be seen by parents the same day. It's just a matter of the teacher/TA putting the invitation in with the reading books/homework. No more time consuming that what they do already surely? It's a system which seems to work really well and avoids any upset for the children.

MiaowTheCat · 16/01/2014 12:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Galena · 16/01/2014 12:15

Post them? I don't have any addresses...

MirandaWest · 16/01/2014 12:16

I have no idea how they are given out at DCs school. Now mine are older they hand them out themselves but I presume something happened in the infants.

I don't know how you could post them as I don't know everyone's address - we aren't given a list at any time and it feels a bit against data protection somehow - what if someone really needed to not have other people knowing where they lived?

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 16/01/2014 12:20

Same as PiggyPlumPie. Invitations can only be given out in class if there is one for everyone. If not, they have to be held by mum/dad/whoever does drop off & pick up and handed out in the playground before or after school.

Seems very fair to me.

3bunnies · 16/01/2014 12:58

But what about those children in breakfast and after school clubs. Even if you drop and pick up every day your dc's friends might not. How do you invite them? I don't agree with a grand ceremony either but popping them in the book bags is fine. And doing it for all of one gender is reinforcing the stereotype that girls should play with girls and boys with boys. Once mine got to yr 1 they handed them out themselves.

WipsGlitter · 16/01/2014 13:04

tailtwister how are parents supposed to get the addresses of children in the class?

Tailtwister · 16/01/2014 13:21

tailtwister how are parents supposed to get the addresses of children in the class?

We have a class list with everyone's contact details on it.

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