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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

am i being silly?

27 replies

apple85 · 14/01/2014 20:02

Hi all, just wanted to ask for some thoughts from everyone..I apologise in advance for typos and grammar mistakes, I am typing on my phone. My dd is in school nursery. She started in September and so far I have had a few niggles with it but generally she likes going so I try to forget about it. Today however when dh picked her up she had no shoes on. He obviously noticed straight away and asked the teachers where they were. He was met with blank faces. They said they weren't aware she didn't have them on. He said one teacher was quite concerned and started to look for them but the other teacher was disinterested. She often comes accross this way to be honest. Anyway they couldn't find her shoes and she came home without them. They said they should turn up. However I'm really concerned that they failed to notice she wasn't wearing shoes and wonder how ling she had been like that for. I asked dd and she said she lost them playing dressing up. Would you be concerned about this or am I over reacting? As i say there have been a few other things I've been unhappy with so am now wondering if its the right place for her

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RandomMess · 14/01/2014 20:05

Do you mean she attends the nursery class in an infant/primary school?

I wouldn't expect the teachers to notice what the children are wearing because they dress up and things and there are how many dc per teacher?

columngollum · 14/01/2014 20:06

I do get cross when my children are missing things. Staff usually find them for me. Either that or have me turn the place upside down. It's their choice.

Original poster

apple85 · 14/01/2014 20:12

Random- yes its nursery within a primary school. I know the kids dress up and stuff but she had no shoes on, just socks and they were all sat on the mat ready to go home. I think there are around 18 kids for 2 teachers for part of the day and part of the day they are mixed with reception with more teachers.

OP posts:

TwllBach · 14/01/2014 20:15

I would notice if a child wasn't wearing shoes!!

columngollum · 14/01/2014 20:20

The OP does appear to be saying that at least one staff member didn't seem to give a damn whether the child was wearing shoes or not.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 14/01/2014 20:22

Look in the oven in the home corner. My ds once collected the shoes of all the children in his group and put them in the oven. He wasn't even a year old. Little monkey!

Original poster

apple85 · 14/01/2014 20:25

Columngollum- dh said that one of the teachers did not seem bothered and did not really attempt to say anything about it. She often appears like she can't really be bothered with the parents, this might not be true, just the way she comes accross. I don't know if I'm reading too much into it. I was just concerned that they hadn't even noticed

OP posts:

Littlefish · 14/01/2014 20:40

I think you're reading too much into it. I would hope they would notice, but to be fair, the end of the day, getting 20+ children organised with costs, water bottles, lunch boxes, hats, gloves, scarves, medicine, head bump letters etc. etc. etc. can be very busy. The weren't deliberately ignoring the fact that your child didn't have her shoes on.

itsahen · 14/01/2014 21:12

I wouldn't worry too much. At our school nursery part of the ethos is to try and get them ready for next year and look after themselves. The teachers focus on learning more than 'care' as opposed to private day nursery pre age 3-4. As a result I regularly have to get my daughter to go and find all her things before she comes home! She has come home with no socks before etc I swear she never wears her coat even when its freezing. Everyday I pick her up, she is running about in her polo shirt. She won't wear her coat / fleece although I know they do try and encourage her to ... She did come home in the wrong shoes once - a boy in her class had the same trainers 2 sizes bigger. He had taken hers and gone home in them. All part of the learning process ... Luckily his mum

itsahen · 14/01/2014 21:13

Luckily his mum realised quickly and they swooped back the next morning !!

2whippetsnobed · 14/01/2014 21:24

I'm sorry but I think it is not acceptable for a teacher to not notice this. Especially as there is often outdoor play as a daily event. I think I would not have left without my child's shoes and I am a little shocked how relaxed some posters are regarding this.

PeanutButterOnly · 14/01/2014 21:27

When I took DS for a nursery familiarisation session (when he was 2) he decided to take off his shoes and we immediately got told that he needed to have them on during the session as that was their safety policy. So if it's the same in other nurseries, then I would say this isn't reasonable.

itsahen · 14/01/2014 22:28

I think school nursery is different from nursery for younger children. I would worry if there were serious signs of lack of care, but it is easy for a teacher to miss the fact that a child is sitting quietly with no shoes on inside. My own despair is other parents who do not check name tags on uniform before they take home some one else's cardigan / jumper etc when they go homd before other children.I lost 3 cardis that were name tagged in 3 places in one week. It took 2 weeks to get them all back. I have taught my 3 year old to check stuff had her own name in first.

Danann · 15/01/2014 08:54

DD used to take her shoes off all the time at nursery and then forget where she put them. that doesn't worry me. But the staff would notice as they were getting them ready to go home and look for them, sometimes they'd still be looking for them when I got there but only because DD was pretty good at hiding them. Jumpers, scarfs, hats, toys etc. I wouldn't be too bothered about as the staff may just not realise she had them so wouldn't know to look but shoes are something it's fairly obvious every child has.

DeWe · 15/01/2014 09:41

I was very happy with our preschool, they were caring, attentive etc. Dd2 frequently hasn't got shoes on-in fact half her class tended to take them off as soon as they started playing. One time she'd put them in a drawer, which was then packed away. Took some searching that one!

They usually had noticed, but in her preschool they have them all sitting on a chair round the room when the parents come in, which makes it much more obvious than if they'e all just carrying on playing.

I've only got three children to deal with, but I have managed to get them all in the car, arrive somewhere for ds or dd2 announce they haven't got shoes on.

I don't think not noticing is indicitive of anything.

Original poster

apple85 · 15/01/2014 17:36

Thanks for everyones advice. Sometimes I'm really just a worrier and constantly worry about whether I've made the right choices for dd which I know sounds over protective and a bit daft. The shoes turned up today. I'm going to let it go this time and try to be a but more relaxed and see how things pan out.

OP posts:

itsahen · 15/01/2014 18:44

Dewe's post made me laugh...I have loaded one child into car to then realise she still has crocs on and not school shoes (she wears in the house)...and a friend of hers once arrived at nursery in slippers !! I recommend name stickers / clothes labels from mynametag as you can get ones with pictures / colours on etc to teach young children to recognise their own items :)

Danann · 16/01/2014 03:08

that doesn't sound daft at all apple, I constantly worry if I've made the right choices too, it's just a case of working out what's worth worrying about and what isn't.

MrsKCastle · 16/01/2014 07:51

The not noticing is one thing- but the not caring or helping you look is something else, and would definitely concern me. I assume your DH was driving home? If that had beene, we'd have been walking, so there's no way I could have just left without the shoes.

I'd expect them to take a lot more interest.

PastSellByDate · 16/01/2014 10:46

Hi apple85

My feeling is losing shoes in nursery is kind of one of those things and [SPOILER ALERT] it won't stop there - both DDs lot a string of cardigans, fleeces, tights, socks, etc.... in KS1 and have gradually improved since starting KS2. Now Y4 & Y6 - we're down to 1 or 2 items a year.

I know that whilst in nursery my children did occasionally come home with other children's shoes/ toys/ clothes - but we always immediately returned them (washed if clothes) to the nursery the next day.

So my feeling is the test isn't that this happened but how they handle it afterwards. You obviously delivered your child with shoes on - so the question is what has happened and if the school will take responsibility.

Personally the likelihood may be that they were left in the toilets when she went to the loo (if she's independent) or was changed (if she's still in nappies).

I'm sure they'll turn up - but in the scheme of things - is she healthy, happy and generally well looked after? If so, genuinely, losing some shoes along the way, although I get it's annoying, is really small beer.

Finally I know that at our nursery the best time to talk to staff was in the morning, when they were fresh & raring to go. By evening they were usually exhausted. A day outnumbered by active toddles is hard work.

HTH

PastSellByDate · 16/01/2014 10:47

sorry that should be

Both DDs LOST a string of ....

UriGeller · 16/01/2014 11:39

So, where are the shoes? Did they turn up? My ds probably like most kids has one pair of shoes at a time and that's it. I'd be really annoyed with the teachers if they let my dc lose their shoes.

This just piles on the worry for people like me. I'm considering not to even send my child to nursery when there are concerns he won't be properly cared for while I'm not there.

my2bundles · 16/01/2014 12:14

uri, the point of school nurseries is to build on self help skills. Encouraging the children to keep track of their belongings etc because in reception and year 1 they will be expected to keep track of coats, book bags, boots etc. To say you would stop your child attending nursery because of a lost pair of shoes is over reacting in a big way.

itsahen · 16/01/2014 12:21

Our school nursery is defo big on teaching them to look after their own things after the first few weeks.. Same as above, to get them ready for school etc.as I said previously I often had to get my child to go back and help me look for her coat / shoes / book bag etc. it soon stopped and now she remembers where she puts things and checks her fleece etc is hers before she puts if on, if left some where other than her own peg. She is nearly 4 :)

ohdofeckorf · 16/01/2014 13:17

Seriously?? Nobody noticed a Dc had no shoes on?? I understand about the independence but not to notice a child didn't have shoes on or not giving a dam when it is pointed out to them is a bit shite IMO.

We have had to send our Dd back in for cardigans and sometimes a reading book but never shoes!

It makes you wonder if it hadn't of been pointed out by your DH at the END of the day (when Dc are encouraged to get their belongings together, no doubt with a quick glance from CT to see) whether it would of been noticed if your Dd would of been out in the playground barefoot?

If in doubt, have a chat with CT. I think Dc are expected to be little adults too soon nowadays.

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