Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

AIBU to not hear DD read every night?

73 replies

Unplastered · 21/12/2013 20:56

Sorry for the title, I couldn't think of a better way to put it!

DD is 4 and a half, just finished first term in Reception. She is enjoying school, after a slightly rocky start concentration wise which I have put down to her taking a while to settle in to the new routine, longer week and so on.

She has a school diary in which the teacher records group and independent reading she has done at school and I do when we read together at home. Occasionally the TAs who run the after school club also hear her read, or one of the older children who are called 'reading buddies' do, and they write in her book.

I don't formally heather read at home Monday-Thursday (not Fridays,which is my day off) although we do read together at bedtime, and enjoy books together. This is because she goes to Breakfast club at 8am, and after school club after school till 5.30 becuase i am at work. We get home just before 6pm And have just over an hour together before bed. She is cranky and tired by this point, and isn't at her best. We also have to make and eat supper, get washed and ready for bed and asleep by a decent hour.

This week her teacher has written in DD's reading journal that she needs to practice more at home.

Do you agree? Should I keep her up later to hear her read, what other options could I have?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

PiqueABoo · 22/12/2013 19:22

"they presumably feel your child is not making the progress they were hoping for"

Probably, but would that be the progress that particular child might reasonably make at that specific age, or progress based on some large scale statistical mean to keep their data straight for Ofsted?

As eddiemairswife wisely intimated way back, it's a wonder that people like me can string a sentence together given that we had none of this absolutely very essential stuff when we were four year olds.

Original poster

Unplastered · 22/12/2013 19:22

Thanks to everyone for your replies.
I should also add - I am expecting DC2 and have this week finished for maternity leave. I don't anticipate struggling to find time for reading while I am off work, and when I go back I am hoping to reduce my hours slightly to be able to do the school pick up 2 additional days, meaning after-school club only 2 days a week.
I was just wondering how other working mums (oh if only we could all earn a decent living from home!) manage.

OP posts:

msmiggins · 22/12/2013 19:26

As I say it depend on your priorites.

skyeskyeskye · 22/12/2013 19:56

OP. we all just do the best that we can in our own situations. Do not let anyone make you feel bad for having to work. Not everybody can work at home.

DD is in after school club til 6pm one night a week. The last thing she wants to do when she gets home is read. She has swimming one night, Rainbows another, all things that are educational and she enjoys. But they also mean that when she gets in she is tired. Our school want them to learn spelling every week and read a book a day and also online through the Bug Club.

There is not enough time to do all these things when a child is tired hungry and crabby. I do some work from home usually when DD is in bed.

Like you I do the best for my DD in my own personal situation which is having to work to keep a roof over her head since XH walked out on us.

simpson · 23/12/2013 00:51

Agree, don't feel bad because of some posters on here. My DC are at school one day a week from 8am till 5 and that will become more than one day when I am working full time.

I personally would far rather spend the weekends with my kids doing what they want rather than dragging them round car boot sales finding stuff to sell.

ARealPickle · 23/12/2013 01:14

Now I really wouldn't want to spend my saturdays with my children trailing around car boot sales.

I'm trying to work out how I can return to work and what I can now do after time out on an ok salary....

But I would prioritise free weekends over the odd session in holiday cllub!

MincedMuffPies · 23/12/2013 01:40

I'm meh about reading school books every day.

My dd is a natural reader, I used to listen to her read school books a couple times a week and she would read her own books the rest of the time. She devours books now and reads and reads, I'm quite sure if I pushed her it would of pushed her away from reading.

My ds had only been 4 for two weeks before he started school, he did struggle with reading but for some reason his phonics have always been really good while dds phonics were the only thing she wasn't top in the class for. Ds is in year 2 now and although is not reading what dd was reading in year two does love reading the books he has. He hated reading in reception to me and year one his school books were always a chore, but I found he naturally wanted to learn more and would try to read cereal boxes an signs and his own books. Now he reads to himself before bed every night and a couple times a week to me. I just was not prepared to push either of them while they were little.

msmiggins · 23/12/2013 06:48

Who drags kids around car boot sales? Not me-In the 4 hours I spend at jumble sales on a Saturday my kids are fully occupied doing fun stuff-unless of course they want to come-my teenage son has earned £400 in the month of December by buying and selling x-box games. My poor kids eh?

Bunnyjo · 23/12/2013 09:37

msmiggins - you're coming across as very sanctimonious in your posts. You have no idea whether it is in the best interests of that particular family to have both parents/the lone parent working full-time and to have the school children in wrap around care. This thread isn't about whether the OP should be working full-time or not, plenty of families have this very same dilemma. Just because you have found something that works for you, it does not give you the right to sneer at other peoples choices.

OP - back to your erm, OP . Just to give you some background, my DD is in Yr2 and my DS is 2.5 so will start nursery in September. DH works full-time (12hr days 5 days a week) and I am a full-time university student, studying over 60 miles away - so on top of full-time study I also have a total of 15hrs commute each week.

We do try to read with DD every evening, but sometimes our daily life gets in the way of this (DD does gymnastics on Wednesday evenings and I often finish university at 5pm meaning I'm not home until 6:30pm, that sort of thing) and trying to read when everyone is tired would be counter-productive. So on those days we find reading in the mornings is much better, everyone is fairly bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and it isn't a chore. Maybe try reading on the morning a couple of times a week, say Tues and Thurs, and then you're breaking up the large break between Mon-Thur when she isn't reading at home.

Please don't feel bad, OP. You've had lots of good advice on this thread, from parents and teachers, and hopefully you will find something that works for you and your family.

Neverhere · 23/12/2013 09:52

Our school asks for daily reading from y1. I can see how it puts a lot of pressure on home life but you can see who does it and who doesn't. I would just try to fit in as much as possible without taking the enjoyment out of reading! If you have a computer (no app currently) their is a lovely free phonics games which can be done independently (while you cook tea?) very easily. Www.teachyourmonstertoread.co.uk
You can sign up and give your child a simple username and a generated password (if you made the website your homepage and made a sign with her password she could prob log on herself too!) . It also has a assessment part - so you can see which sounds she struggled with and which key words she has mastered! And it's fun! Try it out - my class love it!

simpson · 23/12/2013 09:53

Well, that's 4 hours you are not spending with them when you could be.

If you wish to judge people on this thread and state your opinion, then expect it back. Personally, the weekends are about doing things with my kids, but maybe that's just me

IrisWildthyme · 23/12/2013 10:25

I think maybe you should suggest that they should structure some reading practice time into the 2hrs of after school club - of course a 4yearold is going to be too tired to do reading practice with those kind of hours - you are quite right to focus on giving her tea, bath and bed as quick as you can. If it is becoming an issue, then the school has more of an opportunity to address it than you do.

Danann · 23/12/2013 10:25

If your DD is anything like mine then no, there isn't any point staying up later to read with her, she'll just be cranky and it will wind you both up, I know it's tricky, we struggle to fit reading in too but I do think you need to find time somewhere. Even if you can't fit in everyday, hearing her read twice a week instead of once will help.

Could she read to you in the mornings? We leave for school at 8am and DD reads to me whilst I'm brushing/tying up her hair if we haven't had time the night before. or Mum used to get us to read to her whilst she cooked dinner, its probably not as useful as sitting down together properly but it is better than not reading. Also is there time over the weekend?

Original poster

Unplastered · 23/12/2013 13:31

I just want to say thanks for all your useful comments everyone.
I do hear her read her school books together at the weekends, both days, and on Fridays which is my day off work. It's Monday-Thursday when it just doesn't happen formally. But thinking about it more since I state this thread, we actually practice phonics and reading skills lots - for example, Dd has a set of those foam letters in the bath which we often play with making words and sounding them out.

OP posts:

simpson · 23/12/2013 16:28

Sounds like you do more than you realised

You can always check out the Oxford owl website for free ebooks too.

jellybrain · 23/12/2013 17:03

YANBU dd is summer born and now in y4. I didn't insist on her reading to me every night though, I did usually read a bedtime story to her and I'm sure she picked up a lot from that. Still listen to her reading less than I did to older dses. She was tested at the start of term at 8 yrs 6weeks and her reading age was 12+
So OP don't beat yourself up.... Your dd will be fine

Earningsthread · 23/12/2013 17:07

I managed as a working Mum to listen to them read every day (and my job is a nightmare) by delegating whenever I couldn't be there to do it myself. So if I was going to get back too late, DH did it or my Mum did it or the Nanny (for the year that we had one) did it. But basically reading books were right up there with toothbrushing as Priorities That Must Not Be Dropped.

Earningsthread · 23/12/2013 17:10

If the worst comes to the worst, OP, why not do the reading book as the bed time story? Tell her you are doing it differently on days that you work - instead of you reading to her, she reads to you? They usually revive a bit after bathtime. How about that?

PostNoMore · 23/12/2013 20:25

I managed to hear DD read every night while working 4 days a week. DD did one day after school club and for three days she had an after school nanny. That made things much easier because I would get home at 6 and she would already have been fed and rested. Then we did the reading at bedtime just before I read her a story. If that had been too late for her I could have asked the nanny to do it before I got home instead.

If an after school nanny is too expensive or you can't find one then a local childminder might be able to do something similar. Provide tea and a place to relax so that she isn't too tired to do reading when she gets home. If you don't have to do tea that wins you half an hour to fit in the reading and other stuff anyway. They can also manage with a bath every other night.

Good luck!

Danann · 24/12/2013 00:36

OP it sounds like you are doing a lot with her already, how often are you writing in her book? might just be that the teacher has noticed a lack of comments rather than support iyswim so maybe try adding 'practiced phonics' or 'read together'

nonicknameseemsavailable · 24/12/2013 01:20

Danann makes a very good point - if you practice phonics then that is a valid thing to note in her record. I have been lucky that normally my 2 don't mind reading but certainly the elder one has had patches where she didn't want to do it so I would note down anything she HAD agreed to do. Even if it was more her doing some writing than reading because I feel it is linked and at least it shows they are practicing something. It does sound like you are doing something every day but you don't necessarily realise it.

columngollum · 24/12/2013 07:24

I don't think schools should be in the business of telling parents what to do and what not to do. Some parents are in a position to do more reading at home than others are. I'd be telling the teacher to get knotted.

mrz · 24/12/2013 09:42

The teacher hasn't told the OP what to do columngollum. She/he has said the OPs child needs to practise more as he/she must feel this will help, which is advice not an order as most reasonable people will realise.

Flip

1 2 3