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How unsettling is it to change primary school?

30 replies

niceglasses · 06/07/2006 08:23

We may be moving from Newcastle to Manchester, maybe after the summer or else after Christmas. Is it a really awful thing to change my sons primary school? He is coming to the end of his reception yr, so due to go into Yr1 in Sept. He has settled well, is doing fine, made friends. It is my one big concern, among some others (like moving to a new area with 3 small kids). Has anyone done this? I feel awful uprooting them, but it looks like we are etc. Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
Twiglett · 06/07/2006 08:26

3 of DS's friends moved city during reception year .. it all passed off without a glitch and all kids settled really well (including younger siblings)

its the parents who had the hardest time adjusting IMO

vitomum · 06/07/2006 08:33

personally i went to 3 different primary schools and 4 secondaries. i found the primary moves no problem but the secondary moves very stressful.

fennel · 06/07/2006 09:04

We moved in March, with a yr 1 and a reception age child (from Manchester). The girls were OK about it, they settled well into the new school, and enjoy the new school (they liked the old one too).

academically it has disrupted my yr 1 child, she's sort of coasted backwards a bit since moving, but she was always rather up and down anyway in her concentration. but my reception child wasn't affected.

they are really happy, it was easier than we'd expected.

fennel · 06/07/2006 09:05

oh, looking again at your OP, we also moved to a totally new area with 3 small children. we've quite enjoyed it but we were choosing to move to a specific place (Devon), and we do like it a lot here. it's sometimes a bit lonely but we expected that.

Manchester has lots of friendly people in it, where are you moving to? there are quite a few mumsnetters there too.

niceglasses · 06/07/2006 09:17

Well, that was my other question I suppose. What are good schls in Manch? I know M quite well, went to college there and spent a yr there after ds1 was born - lived in Chorlton but had an awful time as had v bad PND (didn't know at time) and didn't know anyone. I guess this is clouding my view of going. I would like to go back to Chorlton but am open to anywhere really. Need to be near M62 I think as dh job in Crewe..........oh dear am getting bit upset about it all..

OP posts:
fennel · 06/07/2006 09:22

i also lived in Chorlton when first in Manchester and hated it, was v lonely and it never stopped raining. but i know that's just personal, it seems a nice place to live really.

ZinedineZidane · 06/07/2006 09:23

Niceglasses, IME, the kids will find it difficult if you find it difficult. If you talk about it as a fantatic adventure and aren't they lucky to have all these new friends to make blah blah and dwell very little on everything you're leaving behind, your kids will be bursting with excitement by the time you move. It sounds harsh but trust me, it really does work.

ZinedineZidane · 06/07/2006 09:24


niceglasses · 06/07/2006 09:24

Agree about the rain. Blimey orielly can really rain there. Chorlton is strange - lots of mums but not exactly friendly. Is it up its arse a bit I wonder? With apols to Chorlton mums.

OP posts:
ZinedineZidane · 06/07/2006 09:28

And as far as school moves go, I don't think moves in primary are a problem on the whole. Secondary a different kettle of fish for various reasons.

fennel · 06/07/2006 09:29

it is indeed up its own arse. "i'm from Chorlton I MUST be sooo right on..." etc. it has a reputation for being very eco and right on, and it does have some good shops, cafes etc.

my dds are happy here in Devon, we've brainwashed them as Zinedinezidane suggested about all the sun and beaches here. but when we go back to Manchester for visits they cheer as we go under the scummy motorway bridge complete with pigeon droppings near our old home. they still think of it as home.

Twiglett · 06/07/2006 11:59

Didsbury .. Beaver Road School

niceglasses · 06/07/2006 14:46

Yep, have to be positive. Think its all very clouded by that year I had when ds1 was newborn. Okay, any Manch mums with nice places to live but maybe not as 'up its arse' as Chorlton???

Also wondering am I better to hang on here for a while and let dh work down there duing the week and just see him at weekends whilst he gets set up or just go for it? His new job very long hours culture.....

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 06/07/2006 14:47

I went to 6 different primary schools and still did OK in the end... but I would say it was quite unsettling.

desperateSCOUSEwife · 06/07/2006 14:50

we have recently put ds3 into a new school as we have moved
he is in reception and has settled in fine
bit quiet at first, but quite happy to go to school everyday
good luck

Tinker · 06/07/2006 14:50

Chorlton is very overrated, lots of it seem to be a bit of a dump. If you need to be near M62, look to South Manchester/Cheadle area.

Rhubarb · 06/07/2006 14:53

We took dd to France when she would have been in her reception year, she was pretty freaked out by it all and got very very ill, but then she had the language to cope with, we'd been living in a caravan and the stress was at an all-time high, plus no family or friends around to offer a friendly face to her.

Now we are moving back to the UK, she has done 2 years here and is very settled, has lots of friends, 1 marriage proposal etc. All her friends are going to County Primary in Sept (different ages here) but she will be going to an English school starting in Year 2 I think, catching up and trying to make friends with kids who have been there since reception.

I have all the worries you have and more besides. I am petrified of screwing her up. I moved from school to school when I was little and it certainly didn't do me any good at all, my confidence suffered etc. I still find it hard to make friends.

But my dd will have love and support which I never had, and so will your ds. We can only hope can't we? Life happens and it's bound to affect them, but with lots of love and support and encouragement you can soften the blow.

Berries · 06/07/2006 14:56

We live in S Manchester/N Cheshire. If dh is in Crewe what about Macc? Some nice places & good schools, not too expensive either. If you want to be closer to Manchester Cheadle/Bramhall area nice also. Can CAT me if you like.

honeyflower · 06/07/2006 15:05

My friend's dd had been to 3 different schools in 2 cities by the start of year 1. Now she's just coming to the end of year 1, and she's doing extremely well. The key is that the school she's ended up in really suits her - the middle one (which she was sent to when they relocated, and hadn't sussed out the options in the new area all that well) just wasn't right for her. She's been find all through the process, though, with lots of love and support from my friend, and I'm sure your kids will be too.

glassofwine · 06/07/2006 15:35

I did this last summer DD1 was moving into yr 2 and DD2 adn DS1 moved into a new nursery. DD1 was very unsettled for a long time, to be honest I would say she's only been settled since Easter. She's normally an easy going child, so I was surprised by how hard it was for her.

However she's fine now and likes it here better.

niceglasses · 06/07/2006 16:05

Thanks girls - may well CAT you Berries. I know we should be looking at south Manch/Macc - but suppose am hanging on to the fact that at least I know Manchester a good bit and have 1 friend there and I always think Manch has a good feel about it.

And thanks for all the positive msgs - not a big move in the scheme of things, but always frightening to move settled kids, plus leaving my family etc. Positive, positive........

OP posts:
fennel · 07/07/2006 14:23

nice places in Manchester itself to live? all along the Mersey basin really I'd say. for a bit of green space and parks. so Chorlton (which is ok really i'm sure... and does have some good points), Didsbury (if you can afford the high house prices, it's a lot more expensive than everywhere around it), Heaton Moor. Sale.

Furball · 07/07/2006 14:40

We moved 10 miles and had to change ds (5 in August!)who is in reception just after Easter. He is now in a village school with 12 others. He seems to have settled well although there has been clashes with an older girl in the class. I felt awful for moving him as he had a real little circle of friends, some of whom I will get together with in the holidays. But dh & I couldn't face staying in our house until ds had finished primary so felt the move was better if he was still relatively young. He is currently going through a phase of not wanting to go which seems to coincide with my friends children in reception at other schools going through a stage like this so don't know wither it is coincidental, although today he trotted in quite happily.

I'm hoping year 1 they will all start afresh and he will slot in (he's quite shy) a bit more. They are also going to change the class so will share with the new reception lot so lots of new faces (9!!) comming in as well and for once he won't be the youngest in the class!

I think the key is to act confident and big it up saying it will be great and you can help choose your new bedroom colour etc. Then move on to the school. One thing I did do was arrange with the new school to go in for a morning together and sit with the class just so he knew what was what before his first day and I think that helped.

Good Luck!

singersgirl · 07/07/2006 14:40

We moved back from abroad at the end of DS1's Y1, so he went into Y2 in a new school. The whole move was naturally disruptive and upsetting, but he found friends quickly and settled well. It took me about a year to feel that he really had become a proper part of the class though.

julienetmum · 07/07/2006 22:38

I'd definately reccomend either Macclesfield or Congleton as easy to get to Crewe. Some lovely schools in bothe places. Stoke is easily commutable too but schools are rubbish.

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