Going to the toilet in reception

[Northlondonma]

Hi all.

My daughter turns 4 at the end of August and is starting reception 2 weeks later.

What is the policy on wiping bums in reception? Do they get any help?! I have been trying to teach her but her arms simply aren't long enough! At nursery they still help with this.

Any advice???

There are usually less staff and more children in reception so I wouldn't rely on there being someone available to wipe bums

I realise it may be unrealistic for them to do this but any advice on how I can teach her??

I think basically you need to be supportive but make sure she tries to clean herself - you might have to finish off - perhaps use baby wipes as it's easier.

There will be an expectation that they at least have a go. A member of staff may help guide them by explaining what to do.

My ds will be in a similar position in September too. I should really start training him to clean his own bum. I know he can reach because he won't keep his good damn hand out of his backside

I seem to remember ds' reception teacher telling me that they expected children to be able to go to the toilet all by themselves but one of the teaching assistants would help when possible if they really couldn't do it but that this sometimes meant waiting quite a while, ds did once tell me a lot of children just pulled their pants up on un-wiped bums rather than wait for the TA.

I have absolutely no advice on how to teach her I'm afraid, my dd has trouble wiping her bum properly too, she can reach, she just doesn't seem to understand that she needs to wipe the pooey bit rather than just her bum cheek!

Just keep teaching her I think. Would it be easier for her to reach if she stood up? Also pop some spare pants in her PE bag in case of accidents or bad wiping.

I think most children take a while to learn to wipe themselves properly.

My older two were still getting skidmarks ( tmi ) until they were 5 or 6. My youngest is 4 and has just started doing it himself (with 'erratic' success).

In practice most 4 year olds wave a bit of toilet paper randomly in the right direction then pull up and off they go. Especially in school when they're trying to rush/talking to friends etc. Some times there's not too much mess anyway ( I think that comedian Kevin Bridges calls it a 'ghostie'?!) and sometimes you'll have a nasty surprise when they get undressed that evening (bleuggh).

DS 2 starting year R this year can wipe his bottom and has been doing for probably 6 months. No marks.
I taught my boys 1-2-3 check. They take paper 3 times and wipe their bottom. They check on the 3rd wipe to see if the paper is clean. If it's still dirty they know to wipe again. Has worked well for both boys.
They do need reminding to only take a small amount of paper as occasionally they go a bit OTT at home!!

Five or six weeks is a while to learn anything.

If she can't reach round, could you teach her to reach through her legs and push away?

Most can hold it in too.

Both my dcs avoided pooing at school and waited til they got home. So it's never really been a problem. My dd who is just 7 still isn't that good at it and still can't reach properly. But at least she tries.

My dd is in the same position although a lot older. Her twin bro has been wiping for ages. I am trying to teach her. She does 2 wipes and I finish off currently. We do it still sitting down, is this less far to reach? Am anticipating messy pants for a bit, but we will get there. Am certainly not going to rely on her screaming, "I FINISHED MY POOOOO" to get them out into the toilet area.

I'd be really surprised if she can't reach her own bum. Have you tried getting her to crouch down and wipe?

DD seemed to get round this problem by somehow training herself to have a poo at approx 4pm every day- I don't think she's ever pooed in school!

Under absolutely no circumstances should you encourage DC's to try and hang on until they get home.
In my clinic one of the most common times to start with constipation is when children start school. This is because they firstly stop drinking so much and secondly start trying to hang on until they get home for

Pressed post too soon!
...try to hang on until they get home.
Withholding poo is a very bad idea.
Messages to DC's starting school should be to drink plenty and go to toilet at every break and lunchtime. If they need to go they should ask the teacher and not try to hang on. They should be reassured as much as possible that its ok to poo at school.

the worst that could happen is skid marks. She can do it, just doesn't want to yet.

Abby, we never encouraged her to hold it in, and spent a long time before starting school making sure she could go independently etc. She's not constipated, she just naturally now seems to go at 4pm in the afternoon!

Intheshed, that's fine. There's just 2-3 people that have said things like "they can hold it in" or similar. I didn't want OP to go away with the idea that this was a sensible way forward. Some children do go regularly at a particular time. I would however be a bit suspicious about a DC that rushed to do a poo the second they got in the door

I said they can hold it in. I didn't mean you should encourage it, but they tend to train themselves like grown ups do. Can, not should.

I am dreading this as the toilet in my DS2's class is huge. Higher than the diddy ones they have at nursery and higher than ours at home.

He's not going to look cool taking his little step up stool with him.

"reach round" eeekkk, does any ones kids do that really. surely reach through is teh way to go with children.

My dd is 5 and has never pooed in reception. She always does it when she gets home, not constipated, but seemed to naturally have regulated herself to do this. Can't wipe her bum either.

UniS... if they reach through they will end up wiping the wrong way-always front to back not back to front- causes urine infections.

All my kids wipe front to back. Reaching through gives me the heebie jeebies!