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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

1 2

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Primary education

Going to the toilet in reception

39 replies

Northlondonma · 26/07/2013 09:35

Hi all.

My daughter turns 4 at the end of August and is starting reception 2 weeks later.

What is the policy on wiping bums in reception? Do they get any help?! I have been trying to teach her but her arms simply aren't long enough! At nursery they still help with this.

Any advice???

OP posts:

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Northlondonma · 31/07/2013 18:31

Thanks for all the replies . Will try and teach her over the next few weeks and just in case pack extra knickers in her book bag!!!

OP posts:

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BeehavingBaby · 30/07/2013 22:23

They didn't help in nursery but if when the child went the next time and their knickers were dirty from before they would help them change and clean up. Not been a problem too often, I think the lower toilets might generally result in a cleaner exit?! Since reception DD2 has gone at 7pm before her bath like clockwork.

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BabiesAreLikeBuses · 30/07/2013 20:29

Ds was concerned about this but as zingally said the staff will and did help. He does normally do it himself now at school and has been told that he will have to in y1! I think they very much encourage the children to be independent as otherwise the ta would spend all day in the loo.

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PoppyWearer · 30/07/2013 18:23

My DC1 started Reception last Sept and had this issue. She has tended to wait and poo at home after school most days. Some walks home have had to be quick!

She's been a few times at school and wiped herself - I know because of the skid marks in her knickers. (Sorry TMI)

Apparently a bigger issue was the number of children who were scared of having the cubicle door shut and also those who were scared of the hand dryers in the toilets, so the teaching assistants had to go with them quite a lot in the early days, until they got used to it. (Only found this out anecdotally from DC1, none of the teachers said anything formally, didn't make an issue of it to any parents.)

We have survived. We've now set ourselves a summer "project" for her to learn to wipe herself properly by the end of the holidays.

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smokinaces · 30/07/2013 18:16

Ds2 has pooed once at school. In a year. I know because they rung me. Coz he sat on the toilet singing for twenty minutes before wiping and they were worried that something was wrong as he kept saying he wasn't done.

He does that at home too. He will grow into a man with a library in the bathroom.

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Highlander · 30/07/2013 13:07

My DSs would manage v well at school, but still insist on me performing the deed at home

You really need to take a tough stance over the hols, it's just pratice! But make it clear that she can ask for help at school.

I would also ask to see your school's initmate care policy. Yes, they should have one.....

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zingally · 30/07/2013 12:01

Reception teacher here. :)

We expect them to at least have a very good go. If they get in a real pickle with it, then of course we'll help them out.
(Frankly I'd be concerned over a school that wouldn't help. We're in loco parentis, and our job is to ensure children are safe, clean and comfortable. Dried poo can make children very sore and uncomfortable).

From my experience though, many children actually don't poo at school, for many different reasons.

I myself never pooed once at school during my entire school career!

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MilkRunningOutAgain · 28/07/2013 15:53

And I've never encouraged my kids to "withhold" if that's the term, but neither like the school loos. Can 't say I blame them, neither do I. Neither is constipated, though dd always needs encouraging to drink more.

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mrz · 28/07/2013 11:09

We provide wet wipes and bins

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lljkk · 28/07/2013 10:41

What they claim & what they do might be 2 different things.

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Jinty64 · 28/07/2013 10:18

Andrex do flushable wipes.

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Panzee · 28/07/2013 09:56

Oh please don't use the wipes. Someone did in our school once (well over a few months) and the resulting blockage meant all the toilet stuff seeped up through the floor. We had to evacuate a classroom and get people in to dig it all up. Oh the horror...

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lljkk · 28/07/2013 08:53

But they're not truly flushable, right? So could clog the school's toilets up, I think quite badly.

I have two who always go around 3-4pm, too. No idea why!

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AuntieBulgaria · 27/07/2013 15:54

I stuck one of those small holiday packets of wet toilet wipes in DD's PE bag, which she had to go past to get to the bogs.

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MerryMarigold · 27/07/2013 15:07

All my kids wipe front to back. Reaching through gives me the heebie jeebies!

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AbbyR1973 · 27/07/2013 08:46

UniS... if they reach through they will end up wiping the wrong way-always front to back not back to front- causes urine infections.

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thinkofthemoney · 26/07/2013 23:57

My dd is 5 and has never pooed in reception. She always does it when she gets home, not constipated, but seemed to naturally have regulated herself to do this. Can't wipe her bum either.

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UniS · 26/07/2013 23:50

"reach round" eeekkk, does any ones kids do that really. surely reach through is teh way to go with children.

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Pancakeflipper · 26/07/2013 21:54

I am dreading this as the toilet in my DS2's class is huge. Higher than the diddy ones they have at nursery and higher than ours at home.

He's not going to look cool taking his little step up stool with him.

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Panzee · 26/07/2013 21:52

I said they can hold it in. I didn't mean you should encourage it, but they tend to train themselves like grown ups do. Can, not should.

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AbbyR1973 · 26/07/2013 21:49

Intheshed, that's fine. There's just 2-3 people that have said things like "they can hold it in" or similar. I didn't want OP to go away with the idea that this was a sensible way forward. Some children do go regularly at a particular time. I would however be a bit suspicious about a DC that rushed to do a poo the second they got in the door

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intheshed · 26/07/2013 19:57

Abby, we never encouraged her to hold it in, and spent a long time before starting school making sure she could go independently etc. She's not constipated, she just naturally now seems to go at 4pm in the afternoon!

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lljkk · 26/07/2013 19:36

the worst that could happen is skid marks. She can do it, just doesn't want to yet.

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AbbyR1973 · 26/07/2013 19:33

Pressed post too soon!
...try to hang on until they get home.
Withholding poo is a very bad idea.
Messages to DC's starting school should be to drink plenty and go to toilet at every break and lunchtime. If they need to go they should ask the teacher and not try to hang on. They should be reassured as much as possible that its ok to poo at school.

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AbbyR1973 · 26/07/2013 19:29

Under absolutely no circumstances should you encourage DC's to try and hang on until they get home.
In my clinic one of the most common times to start with constipation is when children start school. This is because they firstly stop drinking so much and secondly start trying to hang on until they get home for