Primary school insisting my child takes water not squash to school, despite there being a medical reason for it

[TheOriginalNutcracker]

My ds is 10 and suffers from frequent migraines. He takes daily preventative meds for them, and we try hard to manage them by eliminating triggers.

Obviously, dehydration is a major trigger, and so I need to make sure he drink enough during the day. I send him to school with weak squash in his water bottle, as he is not overly keen on water, and so will not drink enough of it. I know this to be the case from seeing him drink at home.

School are kicking up an almighty fuss about it. I have spoken to them countless times explaining why he needs the squash, and have also written a letter insisting he be alowed it, abd again explained why.
Today he was pulled into the heads office because of the squash.

I went in after school and asked to see the head. I was told she could only speak to me for 2 minutes. She came out and right away knew why I was there. She just went on and on about many people not liking water and getting headaches, but that other kids would think it was ok for their child to bring in squash also.
She then said that my ds had promised earlier that day, to try and drink only water next week. So basically they got him to agree to this in a meeting with no parent present.

I explained again about his migraines, but she basically insisted and just said that ds had agreed now.

Is there anyting I can do about this ? I think their treatment of him and his condition is appaling. We have also had issues where they have made him wait for calpol when a headache starts.

They're not migraines. Migraines don't just go away with paracetamol. They are just headaches, potentially caused by not drinking enough.

duchesse I think you are in no place to judge for sure. How do you know how much pain someone else is experiencing? Are you the child's doctor?

It is a sad situation to be in where parents are so distrusted the diagnosis that their child's doctor has made is questioned for the sake of a no squash rule. Especially when that child is missing their education because they are sent home.

OP's ds wouldn't be on pizotifen if he didn't get migraines. Her belief is that the headaches he still gets when he has not drunk enough go on to become full blown migraines if they are not treated with calpol within half an hour. Whether pizotifen works like that in conjunction with behaviour changes and calpol I don't know, but clearly that is what her GP told her.

You know, rabbitstew-unless I missed a post, I don't actually think the OP said any of that!

Instead of going around in circles OP could just update us with the school response. I would also like to know, if she wins, what she is going to do as a long term measure to get him to drink water-or is that it- she just never bothers?

exotic I would actually be happy with either. Drinking water is preferable but if somebody only ever drinks other beverages it need not affect their quality of life at all. Whereas migraines and missing out on school will.

Followed this thread at the start and am wondering if it's really about the water vs squash at all? Is it perhaps more that both sides have dug their heels in and don't want to concede the point? What if the OPs DS is allowed to have squash, will that lead to hundreds of other pleas to drink squash on the basis that a lot of children prefer it and will therefore take in more liquid if they're allowed to drink squash over water? AFAIK OP said that her DS had some learning delays (sorry if I've got that wrong), but not anything else that would mean it's impossible for him to understand the concept of drinking water to stave off migraines.

The whole thing is silly- the DS agreed with the school to try water- OP got cross that they asked him- apparently you should never ask a simple question without the parent there.
I can't see the problem- he agreed to try. See how it works out and according to that one side may have to be more flexible. You don't know until it is tried.

Both sides are dug in and think they know the answer- it appears to be about principle- whether he can manage water has got lost by the wayside!

Avon regardless of any leaning delays that this child has what has happened in practice does mean he has an additional need of sorts.

At the moment he is not understanding adequately enough the connection between migraines and drinking water for it to change his behaviour. Unless the OP has experienced some recent success which would be great...

Other children do not need to know he has squash, either that or they should be satisfied he has special permission to have it. It is like a diabetic child being able to have emergency chocolate etc if their insulin is too high.

The reason the OP might not be happy about the head getting her DS to agree to drink water without consulting her, is that he could just have agreed because he felt coerced or under pressure.

If you think that other children won't know he has squash you clearly have never spent much time in a primary school classroom!!

Wrong again exotic!

curlew - which bit do you think the OP did not say? OP clearly said in one of her posts that her ds was taking daily Pizotifen. She also clearly said that he had calpol at school which he was supposed to take within half an hour of starting a headache or the headache ended up becoming a full blown migraine and the school was deliberately delaying giving him calpol, which she felt was unacceptable. She also said she'd had to go to her GP about it because the school initially refused to administer calpol.

She could also be angry about the supposed agreement with the HT because she knows there is a colossal difference between agreeing to drink water and drinking enough water to stave off a migraine, so now knows she will have to endure a few weeks of her ds getting constant migraines just in order to prove a point to the school.

Well different ones to me- as a supply teacher in many schools- they always know on the odd occasion if happens - and the child with the squash knows the rules and so is secretive.

I know which side I stand because I'm the parent of an immovable object called DD2.

I'm quite happy to lend her out to smug parents and smug HTs, she's house trained and very cute. You'll have a nice day, but you won't get any water drunk.

Or look at it a different way rabbitstew- she may end up with a child who drinks water. She seems adamant he has to drink squash- it seems all important.

I only wish I could take up the challenge StarBallBunny!

OP just sounds at the end of her tether to me.

The reason the OP might not be happy about the head getting her DS to agree to drink water without consulting her, is that he could just have agreed because he felt coerced or under pressure.

If the OP believes that then it confirms that she has lost faith in the school completely and yet willingly sends her vulnerable DS into what she believes is an oppressive and bullying environment.

Surely her efforts should be put into relocating her DS to a different school - possibly on the grounds of SEND - rather than seeking to resolve this? I doubt the OP will gain any more confidence in the school even if they do agree to allow her DS to drink squash in class - so why bother? Better to place her DS in a school where they can effectively support him through his transition to secondary school, not demand behaviour that is unachievable for him.

Or look at it a different way, exoticfruits - schools is smug and thinks it knows better than the mother whom it has rather patronisingly fought every step of the way. What is all important to the mother is that he child not carry on having migraines.

PrettyPaperweight - if only it were so easy to transfer schools. I agree, though, it is quite clearly a final straw moment for the mother, not merely, as exoticfruits appears to think, an issue about squash.

Whatever the view we don't know the all important one- an update from OP. I doubt the Head is interested in views on MN.

Although obviously, you could assume that the fight over calpol is all about squash, that the comments about her child's learning issues are all about squash, that her comments about the school failing to correct punctuation errors and capital letters are all about squash, that comments about her child being socially and academically behind are all about squash, that her comments about being constantly at the GP are all about squash... Really, if she got her ds to drink water, he would be miraculously cured of all the problems and become a model pupil.