School want me to pay for something my child broke? Can they do this?

[MaterGator]

My child broke an instrument during a music lesson at school. It's a state primary school, he's Year 2 - six years old. The school offers violin lessons as an extra. The lessons are arranged by the school, happen during the school day and are taught by an outside teacher whom bills us directly. The school purchased a small supply of violins for prospective violinists to borrow during their first term. My son came home with one of these and has had lessons for a term. There was no 'engagement letter' or hire contract etc.

He has accidentally damaged the violin and the music teacher sent it home with a note saying I had to take it to be repaired and pay for it. Can they do this? I was never told I was responsible for the instrument in this way.

If a child breaks something in the classroom parents wouldn't be asked to replace it would they? Is this different?

Yes, I think you should pay for it. I'm surprised you even need to ask!

Your son doesn't want to carry on with the violin, so you aren't bothered about fixing it? And that is OK because your problems with the HT are skewing your moral compass?

Frankly, that stinks. Your moral compass should not be that delicate.

As others have said, if you don't repair the violin, it might not be available for another child who really does want to learn. And the school might not be so willing to buy expensive instruments for the benefit of the pupils if parents think it is OK to skip out on the repair if their child damages the instrument!

I think they are being piffling if they're arguing about repositioning a bridge. However.... I don't like the 'well, my son's not going to benefit, so I won't bother to fix it' logic.

I don't see that opening lunch box items in itself is terribly bad. Am I not getting something?

I'm a violin teacher- if the bridge has just come off it's a non issue- the teacher can put it back on easily. If the bridge has snapped, send in £2 for a new bridge and move on- life's too short.

One of those good bits of advice that gets handed out in life I try to remember is pick your battles.

The treatment you've had from the head teacher is wrong. I'd say pursuing it is a battle worth having especially as you sound like you are quite strong and others are also being bullied. If you've had less than no support from the governors go to the LEA.

£2 off ebay sounds like a plan for the violin. Get it dealt with and have the moral upper hand.

The lunch box thing to my experience is annoying lunchtime practice in busy primary's. The lunchtime supervisors open everything for each child then in my DS2's case he gets chatting and sometimes hasn't eaten much when the quick eaters are ready to start kicking a ball around. He'd rather be kicking the ball than eating so says he's finished, bundles everything back in his lunch bag and I get the pleasure of mixed yogurt/ orange juice/ cake crumb/ sandwich combo to clean up when he gets home.

It makes it virtually impossible to follow through on my 'no snack when you get home till you finish your packed lunch' rule.

I can see a teacher/HT/lunchtime supervisor opening a child's fruit cup/yoghurt for them, to try to encourage the child to eat their lunch.

Just pay for the thing.

Isn't it common for all lunch leftovers to be sent home?

Tbh I'd take the moral high ground and get the bridge fixed. It takes away an opportunity for the school to criticise you. If your ds wants to do another instrument in future and you don't get it fixed there might be a problem.

Bridges break very easily especially if the instrument is dropped. It's not expensive to repair.

Box. As. Frogs. A. Mad. Of.

Ok, I just asked my mum (music teacher of 40 years) about this.

She says if it's the strings that break it's part of the general running costs and fall to the parents. Anything else is the school.

They can ask for a contribution, and I guess in a world where we are asked to donate boxes of tissues so that the school doesn't have to buy them, any unexpected expenditure is a pain for the school. But in this case it's a bridge costing a couple of quid and most music rooms would normally have a couple of spare knocking around anyway.

But you can take the moral high ground here and spend a few quid on a new bridge, send it in with the violin and the teacher can fix it at the next lesson. Drama over.

As an aside, I would have moved schools ages ago - I know you said your children really didn't want to, but if the head behaves in this way, seemingly supported by the governors, it really isn't a healthy environment for them.

Even as an experienced music teacher, how on earth can your Mum be privy to every single school's musical instrument policy in the entire country?

But in this case it's a bridge costing a couple of quid and most music rooms would normally have a couple of spare knocking around anyway.

What music room?

I can't believe the number of people on this thread who would be unwilling to take responsibility. The world does not owe you and your child a free violin bridge, fgs. The sense of entitlement is breathtaking.

You should set aside your grievance with the head for now and just pay up . Presumably you haven't been charged for the loan of the instrument. If everyone took your attitude they would have to set a charge or deposit for all, thus putting the opportunity out of reach of many.

Re: the violin
It sounds like a cheap repair, I would take it to the shop where you bought the older child's violin, they are likely to repair it without charge (just for the bridge), if it's just the bridge that's broken.

Re: the other issues with the school
If I had been subjected to so much crap from the head and governors I would not walk in there every day to hand my kids over. No way. I don't know exactly what's happened and only suspects it's a long long story, but I do know that things like this always reflect on the children. I would not leave them there.

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Feeny, I didn't say my mum knew about every single instrument hire policy in the country, but as the OP doesn't seem to have signed an agreement and has been loaned an instrument on an informal basis, I thought I'd chip in with what her experience suggests is the norm.

Music room in a bigger school = drawer of odds and ends in a smaller school.

We wouldn't have any such drawer, I'm afraid.

Familessharwgerms - perhaps the school (and your mum's school) would ask the parents to pay if the child's carelessness caused the damage?

SDTG - I think, like other posters said, it would depend on the carelessness (bearing in mind he is six years old). Left lying on floor and - predictably - stood on is different to throwing around or being used as a fencing tool. The same as if any other bit of school equipment got broken.

Mum was a peripatetic teacher, so has probably worked in hundreds of schools over the years. The whole sub-plot with the OP's wider relationship with the school must surely have had a bearing on the fact she's being asked to pay for a new bridge.

If I were you OP, I would ask for more detail on how the incident happened. The school can't come to you and ask for money without giving you more detail.

Just send a simple question back to the school saying that you are of course keen to make sure that the instrument is repaired, however before you provide the funding you need to establish why exactly it is your responsibility. It they tell you your child threw the instrument on the floor in a rage, you should point out that you have cared for the instrument at home for a period of time and he has been careful. Is it possible he was not being supervised? Also ask if the instruments are insured against accidental damage, given that they are being given to 6-year olds. The school do have a responsibility here. If they offer music lessons, and offered you an instrument, then they should be charging you for the insurance.

The issues you are having with the HT are horrific and I really feel for you. Stand your ground, but don't sink to their level. If the adult present in the room presents a reasonable case to you as to why you are responsible for the cost, then pay up happily. As someone else pointed out, it doesn't sound like a great deal for repair - to be honest the peripatetic could probably source the bridge and replace it for you. They should have given you advice on where to go for repairs at least.

It they tell you your child threw the instrument on the floor in a rage, you should point out that you have cared for the instrument at home for a period of time and he has been careful. Is it possible he was not being supervised?

Are you suggesting that in that scenario the OP should not pay?

I played the violin as a child, we hired it from the LA. IF I broke it we had to pay to fix it, accidental or not.

It's your responsibility to keep the instrument in decent working order. I can't fathom why this needed to be asked.

Just pay for it. You have issues with the school and are just making it worse for yourself.

Based on the OPs attitude displayed on this thread, I'd be really interested to see the HTs interpretation of the events she has claimed.

Replacing the bridge is piss easy. The violin teacher could probably do it. It would cost about a tenner in a violin shop if that.

Broken strings (someone mentioned them up thread) are really not damage as such. They are a finite part, they have to be changed from time to time.

The school should have a better procedure in place but I'm not really sure how you think you shouldn't repair it just because you gave had other issues with the school. There is no link there.

What was your complaint that was aired to the whole school. Seems a very odd thing to happen.