How long would you travel for an outstanding primary school?

[Quijanotango]

Thinking about where to send my little one...primaries next to our home are very satisfactory. We have visited them and they are not an option. They are also oversubscribed since population in our borough is increasing by the hour.
We are catholic but the nearest catholic school is well out of our catchment area.Not an option either.
There is an outstanding catholic school close to my work where we could get a place based on the last 10 years stats. We attend church and this would put us in a stronger position than people living closer but no catholic. there is no sibling policy either. The problem is that it is a 45 min drive from home. Little one would have to travel with us leaving home around 7.45am and I'm feeling guilty already...Dropping off and picking up would not be a problem.
Moving is not an option. We love our house and we are in the catchment area from a very good secondary school.
Private not an option.
By the way, my husband and I are both in education and fully understand ofsted reports and school results.
What would you do? I'm losing sleep over this...Any opinions would be highly appreciated.

I rather missed the fact it was near work. Since you only have the one and before and after is a problem it may well be your best option.

As one who does the commute, I thought I would go into a bit more detail about how it can work. It isn't ideal, but I don't think it is quite so bad as some people are making out. A lot of it of course depends on the stress of the drive - I note that your dd would have to do a tube ride too, which I think would be the deciding factor of not to go down that route.

DD wakes around 10 to 7, we dress, breakfast and leave the house around 7.35 to drive 3 miles to collect the others, or are collected if it isn't our turn. We do have to drive up to the top of a long track to wait if we are picked up. We arrive on the outskirts of a city around 8ish and it takes another 10/15 mins to get to school and this is the bad traffic bit! Usually the children are in school at 8.20. (starts 8.40). In two years we have never been late, we have been on the nail - but not late.

Pick up is at 3.30 - and for some reason the drive home is quicker and we are usually home by 4.10, this is a similar time to what we got in at our state school, which finished at 3.45 and was only a short 5/10 min drive!

In the car we sing a lot!!! They all have whiteboards to doodle/play hangman etc., and we do times tables to songs. They have been known to read and do homework!! To be honest, they seem to enjoy it, it is a bit of a social and time to unwind.

They could go on the bus, but it leaves at 7.30 from a nearby village - so we would have to leave home earlier than we do now. The return bus doesn't leave school until 4.00pm, as they wait for all the children to come from the Senior schools, so they wouldn't be dropped off until nearly 5pm after the other drop offs, an hour after we get in. Driving therefore is the best option for us.

I know what others are saying about playing with friends locally, but many people who live in a rural area do not have friends next door or down the street and have to drive or make that extra effort to be social. DD goes to Brownies and swimming locally, so does have friends nearby and may bump into them in the supermarket/post office and park, but not on a daily basis, usually we get home play, homework, walk the dogs etc. etc.

Most of her classmates and that of the other children we travel with (one of whom is Yr6), don't have playdates on school nights - is that unusual?

You seem very set on the school and the commute and I can actually understand that you'd rather chat in the car than drop DD at a childminder near home (although wouldn't your au pair do a local drop off?). BUT I cannot understand why you don't consider moving closer to the school you like and cutting the commute for all of you. That would seem to be the best solution for everyone and would give all of you more quality family time at the start and end of the day. Plus you would be much closer at hand in an emergency - not essential but definitely a good thing.

Given the OP is in London Ghoul relocating nearer the school may well not be an option from a property price point of view. Particularly if they are living further out and commuting in to a more central London area. Might not be the case, but certainly for lots of Londoners living nearer the school would be a total pipe dream.

I know - and OP can say if it is purely financial considerations. BUT given what she says about the school taking Catholics from a wide area she doesn't have to be right by the school. I'm guessing there is an area in her price range which would be much closer to the school than where she is now even if not right by the school.

True. You might be able to get a lot closer even if not into walkable. Although I guess being by a good secondary would be hard to manage as well. Schools are such a minefield, we're applying at the moment.

It is a minefield I agree. There's always a compromise it seems.

How come everyone thinks it is so easy to move? In this climate many homeowners just have to sit tight and hope their negative equity improves, so it isn't an option for all. It really isn't that simple.

Personally we have invested a lot of time and energy into our house in a beautiful location, nothing would compare to what we could afford if we sold now, so the compromise is travelling. This house is our forever home. The Op has already said this isn't an option for them either.

I'm not saying everyone can move at the drop of a hat. And certainly not that OP should just move because I say so. But if my house was not convenient for my work, my husband's work nor my child's school I would seriously think about it moving. Also you don't necessarily have to buy a house, renting is an option and it's much easier to move to a suitable place if your situation changes if you do rent.

I'm only giving my opinion to OP on her situation and she can take it onboard or disregard as she wishes and according to her circumstances.

Another good thing to do is not judge a school by a few of its parents.

Here here Seeker. There are some v posh mums at our school who are absolutely caners - they always seem to have sniffy noses - but I don't think that makes every parent at the school a coke head.