Does every class have a high maintenance parent?

[Rottenluck]

According to said friend: The teacher coming to the house prior to the start of reception was just an excuse for snooping, the settling in was a waste of time, the reading books are crap, and now there's something wrong with the nativity.

We're only half way through the first term of reception and I just want to tell my friend to button it! It's a good school, her first choice but in her eyes they will never get it right. 9 times out of 10 she has to speak to the teacher at pick up and they have already had several heated discussions about the reading books. Her DC apparently warrants twice as much of the teachers time at parents evening.

She's so absorbed in her battle with them she's lost sight of what really matters and I can't help thinking she won't ever be taken seriously as she complains so much.

Road kill I read your post and felt really sad. Unfortunately there is a pack mentality with some parents. My close friend is in a v similar situation from the other side. Her son is in class with a boy with obvious SN who hits out at others. She often talk about how awful this boy is and how his parents do nothing but spoil him blah blah. It is only after I ask what props this lashing out that she says the other children verbally goad him. She seems to think the school would say something if it was a SN issue but how presumptuous and wrong she is and she is my friend. A reasonable Woman in other respects.

RoadKill, please do not let this thread upset you. Schools have all sorts of combinations of parents and children. The OP kicked this thread off about the combination of 'High Maintenance Parents ' with low maintenance kids. So typical examples of this at our school would be

"X is missing a button off her coat, has it been found in the playground? I did n't want you to worry because I have a spare at home, which I'll sew on tonight after ballet, obviously you can tell X does ballet, is must be apparent in her poise during PE and the way she sinks gracefully to the floor during carpet time, like a swan distraught by the loss of it's mate, they mate for life you know, can break your arm........."

DD's class has a lad struggling to conform to school, he's lovely and luckily so are his mum & dad. He's a challenge for the teacher but she's stamped down on the other kids blaming everything that goes wrong and I like to see the parents catching up with the teacher. They always look rather nervous, I wish they'd relax because they obviously care and are engaged and support their child.

There's another 'spirited' child in class who sadly has a very low maintenance parent, the school try really hard but to be honest the mother is in need of supportive parenting. I always want to give her a massive hug, feed her some vegetables and remove the headphones from her ears so she can see her bright son who understandably is just trying to attract some attention.

That is an interesting discussion.

I consider myself between the "pushy" and "not pushy" parents. I do like to keep my eyes on my child education and of course if it is his interest (at least I think) I would go to speak to his teacher. Usually we speak once a week with his teacher just to get an idea what they did in that week, how I can help him at home, etc... Oh and yes I had a couple of discussion about the books with the teacher. I just generally interested what they did in the school, whether they learnt the number, time tables or shapes. In my country the children have books for each subject to take home. So if you open their books you exactly know what they learnt on the day and what they will learn in the whole year as well. Also they have a writing book and the teacher or parent can write in it if they have something to discuss.

I do feel in England the parents do not get enough information about their children education. We got an A4 paper about their Math curriculum for Reception, however in my country you have a 40-50 pages book with examples and practice and they go through on the book on that year. So you know what your child knows and where he needs some help.

But I only discuss my child education with the teacher. I am not interested in anything else (school meal, nativity, uniform etc...). They do these things as they wish I do not mind. But my child education is two way information. How I can help him not to stay behind, when the teacher tells me in parents evening my child cannot count, but it was discovered 3-4 month ago and the other children already learnt the time tables? The lack of communication can make the gap bigger and bigger between two children.

I do not know if other parents like me or not. I do not know if the teacher likes me or not (however I always try to be very kind with her). But we do not need to be friends. I just want her to do her job and cater my son education with my help.

Hi roadkillbunny,

I don't think this thread was about parents who've actually got genuine problems. (I'm sorry to hear about your child's significant problems.) I hope you don't worry about this thread any more. It's about parents who don't have any real problems but just feel good about making a fuss.

Hope you feel better.

Ha ha yes there is one at our school, I know her very well and her child doesn't have SEN (agreed this isn't what this thread is about) Every morning she stands blocking the door whittering on about something or other. The other day we were almost out of the playground when she suddenly remembered that they hadn't told the teacher that her son had swum a width of the pool at his swimming lesson and made him run back to tell her

Its these 'pushy mums' that make it so hard for other mums/dads/carers when they have REAL concerns.

For not wanting to appear like these 'pushy mums' we maybe bite our lips and wait too long to share something with the teacher.

I actually think the term 'pushy mums' is totally derailing.

Yes some definite high maintenance parents but the teachers at my dd school are most definitely fair and in control - I think they are amazing teachers.

At DD's school there are five parallel classes with an average of 25 children in each. All the classes get mixed up every year and much speculation goes on, every year, as to how the particular groups were made up (the decision is made between the teachers of the current and the forthcoming year in June). This year, all the HMPs' children are in the same class. The teacher actually likes those parents! She's had many of them before.

I have 2 DC at the same school, one in Y4 and one in Y2. Y4 class is "normal" - a couple of pushy parents but its not overt.

The Y2 class DD is in this year, OTOH, is unbelievable. It is rammed with PFBs and helicopter micromanagement the like of which I have never witnessed. I actually couldn't get DD in through the door most mornings the first half term because the door was blocked by at least 2 or 3 pushy parents every single morning.

The poor teacher had to send home 2 letters in the first half term to all parents in her class - one explaining why the spellings weren't more difficult as so many of the PPs complained and the other from the head saying please trust the teacher to do her job and keep your beaks out.

I for one will be buying the poor woman a good bottle of wine for Christmas, she needs it.