Very tired child in reception

[Morebiscuitsplease]

DD2 has recently gone full time and is hanging. We have lots of tears and tantrums which is not typical. Last week she didn't even want to go to school. I of course jollied her along. While she appears to be coping well at school I feel that an afternoon at home mid week might help her catch her breath as such. I requested this at school as i thought there was a bit of flexibilty in Reception, she does not legally need to be in school until the summer term. Here class teacher has to run it pass the head who has refused to authorise her absence. She was very unsympathetic. Her comments I found very unhelpful, well all children are the same they are all tired..no not all children are the same. Also i do not feel it is in my daughter's interest to be so tired that her behaviour at home is suffering. This cannot be good for her.

Hi Morebiscuitsplease

I know you don't want to be teaching your dd that it's acceptable to 'pull a sickie', but that will be the instant solution. Negotiating with the Head and the LEA will take time, and it's a problem now. By next term, she may well be up for five full days.

I'd try bring bedtime forward by an hour. That way it stays within your control and you can gradually move it back if you feel she is coping better.

Surely that would be easier than trying to convince the school to let your DD be a 'special' case?

My chap goes to bed at 6 and is still teary with exhaustion. He is very small and only 4.3. I am fully aware that the he doesn't legally have to be in school yet and so have kept him off a day or two already and have told them honestly he is too exhausted. I know for a fact that our area ESW (educations social worker) won't be interested in the absences one jot. The head on the other hand only cares for his good attendance statistics while the secretary thinks the kids should just put up and get used to it. I must say that the well being of my child is far more important then the heads good statistics. I vote for putting your childs needs first too.

ps. I had to do this with my eldest boy and he hasn't suffered one bit academically or socially. In fact he was so much happier in reception because he had a recovery day off each week.

Thanks for your comments it really has helped. Just to update, head has refused to authorise absence and have felt under pressure not to take her out today but have stuck to my guns. Spoke to EWO who has susggested that we have meeting in school to see how we can support my child. As school had not yet suggested anything else feel reassured that he will be a the meeting. Speaking to deputy they are clearly concerned about setting a precedent and what is sad is no one has suggested how we can help my child. :(

My prem. DS used to go to bed at 4'30 in reception ... and sleep 'til 7 the next morning. Just keep her off when you fancy.

I feel for you. My DD wasn't in the british system but would get very tired. She could not cope with full days at all no matter how early she went to bed. I have a feeling my son is heading the same way but he will crash out on the way home and I can wake him after 20 mins (means later to bed but he doesn't cry / tantrum from 3pm until 7).

The school she was at allowed her to shortened her day for the first little while and this stopped all the after school tiredness. I would pick her up at 2pm. It was enough to get her through to bedtime and she was able to walk to the car without crying or becoming emotional. We did this at the start of each academic year (Kindy and Preprimary), this was after a few weeks of realising our home life was being torn apart by it all and I wasn't willing to let that happen. Some children are just like that and for friends and other parents out there that have never seen my child or others after school they just don't get it!

I'm thankful that we were supported (and allowed to take her home early) and school recognised the distress we were experiencing. (I did also pull a few sick days for my other child (who could generally cope) when he was getting run down. Most reasonable teachers do understand. I would just say he wasn't feeling 100% but we'd still do a little work at home)

(Another tip is to meet your child from school with a snack, if they are tired I find it might give me an extra 20 mins to settle them down when they get back home)

Best of luck and know you are not alone.