Teaching assistant said 4 year old DD is sometimes "vacant"

[MrsCantSayAnything]

And it's annoyed me because I don't know a child who is LESS vacant than DD.

I'm not naive...I have an older DD who is prone to daydreaming....and at one point was assessed for ASD.

I know the signs.

I feel angry because this teaching assistant said that DD goes vacant when asked to do something like number work or any "proper" work.... then said (during parent's evening) "Yes and Mrs X also agreed with me didn't she?" and turned to DDs teacher to confirm this.

The teacher nodded and said "It's not that she's being naughty though...or deliberately provocotive, it's just that she's 4 and would rather play."

What were they getting at? Am I being overly defensive? I just don't think it's a very nice word to use for a 4 year old who is bright, chatty, sociable and articulate.

At pre school she was known for her sociability and her sense of humour

I think she was giving you feedback on how your dd is doing in her classroom which is actually the point of parents evening. I think you are being defensive. If you have already decided that there are no issues with your dd then I think you should probably avoid parents evening or instead hope you get one of those teachers who only tell you what they think you want to hear so you go home completely happy. I have heard some negative things at parents evening about my dc but I treat it as information. It doesn't mean that my ds or dd are any less lovely. Children are different in school and of course we only see what we want to see in our children because we love them. Her teacher and TA are just telling you that they have observed your dd zone out when given an instruction to do something less play orientated and more on the teachers agenda. It is an observation and I would take it as just that.

Well, "doesnt listen" might have been kinder. Vacant is a bit naff applied to a young child.

The first thing that popped into my mind when I saw the title was "petit mals", but that doesn't really sound like that's the case from your description.....but it's a very vague description given by the TA. Weird!

Perhaps, OP, the TA is not gifted in her use of language I think 'goes vacant' is a silly way to describe a 4 year old.

I would be irritated, probably, as it is judgemental language so bound to provoke a reaction - but honestly, I wouldn't worry over it. Sounds as though the teacher was a bit embarrassed and tried to re-frame the statement!

And I certainly wouldn't worry about a 4 year old getting a bit vague when presented with anything less exciting than play

'Teaching ASSISTANT. Talk to the qualified professional in the room'

Wow Lucy! A bit harsh!
At the schools I've been to the teaching assistants are typically middle aged women wiho have been in the job for years and know a lot more about children than the twenty-something teachers.