School want to refer DD for speech therapy 2 days after starting reception?!

[Faith77]

I don't know whether anyone has any experience of this, but after two days at school, DD's teachers have announced that they want to put her into speech therapy. We haven't had any input into this decision, and feel that two days is pretty quick to make such a big assumption about her abilities, given that she hadn't even met her teachers prior to starting at the school (no settling in, home visits, etc) & is still getting used to her environment, which is a huge jump from the (non-State) nursery she attended previously. We've got a few other concerns about the school, too, but this is the big one - can they really do all this without any discussion or proper assessment after only 12 hours with her?! Her speech is a bit behind in terms of clarity, but over the past 2 years, we have spoken to those who cared for her at nursery regularly, and their response has always been that she is progressing rapidly, is understandable when her confidence has been gained, and that she picks up more by being around her peers than being taken off to work separately. However, the teachers haven't been open to our input and have basically told us that this is how it is going to be. We're not opposed to our daughter having speech therapy, but surely we ought to have been involved in the decision process and there should have been a proper assessment done over a certain amount of time?

Two of my children have needed input from SALT, both for around 18 months - 2 years each.

Input is fantastic and can't do any harm whatsoever. It was invaluable for my children and I'm eternally grateful.

I think the school should have communicated better with you, but I think you should try to see past that and embrace the help for your child.

She hasn't been getting the milk at snack time, either, and had her juice (which we didn't know was contraband, because they hadn't told us) from her lunchbox thrown away and no water given as a replacement. They didn't even tell us, or leave a note in her lunchbox - thankfully she told us so that we didn't repeat the same mistake the following day. But even then she didn't drink because they left her water bottle hanging on her peg, so again she went thirsty Hence my reluctance to see this as a "good" thing - our experience with them, the level of care, and the communication has been awful. I've been so scared for her that I've kept her off this week so far, because we are expecting an offer for a preferred school by the end of the week. The whole thing is just making me miserable

Dd2 has very indistinct speech (dysarthria) that means that people who meet her for the first time find it difficult to understand her. People who get to know her and who are familiar with her speech patterns can understand her well in context.

I suspect this is partly what is happening here (and partly what happened at nursery - because they were familiar with her speech patterns they understood her more).

So, the new setting have come across her speech for the first time and are struggling to understand her.

Honestly? Agree to a full slt assessment. They are like rocking horse shit, and the fact that you have been offered one is really a Very Good Thing. And it means that the school are absolutely on the ball.

I can't comment on shouting or water - generally it's freely available, so it would be more of a child not accessing the water, than them preventing her from having it, but she was probably too excited/ involved in what she was doing. Maybe just remind her where her bottle is, or where the fountain is. Quite a lot of infant schools require children to bring in a bottle of water. It's fairly standard practice. You can't make them drink it though.

If she doesn't need SLT, she won't get it. But best to make sure.

I think you need to keep a clear separation between the two issues.

First, the SALT referral. Yes, it's galling to be told and not consulted. But IME this is part of the transition from private nursery (where you are the paying customer) to state primary (where you are not the customer). It is quite a shock how suddenly it is assumed that you are there to support the school, not the other way round. But experienced teachers have picked up on a speech issue which now needs proper assessment. The teachers do not do the assessment - you need the referral for that. So say yes.

Second, whether this is the right school for your dd. It sounds as though you have serious doubts, and so this issue is becoming a 'test case'. Would it almost be a relief if the school was in the wrong on this, because it would help make your mind up to seek another school? If the school WAS right on this, and getting your dd the SALT she needs, would that make it harder for you to move your child?

I think you need an appointment with the school to discuss all the issues tbh.

Things are not always as our dc tell us. I'm not saying she's lying, it's just sometimes things aren't as they seem and it's possibly worth discussing things with the school before you make the decision to move her.

Good luck.

X post.

If the water was on her peg, and she was supposed to have it on her desk, she needs to screw up her courage and say'please can I get my water'. If you think she is too shy to manage that, then do ask the TA or CT to remind her.

It's very early days and she (and you) will get used to the new routine. The juice thing isnv common, and usually covered in the intro and transition, and welcome to yr r stuff. It can be v overwhelming for first timers though, so quite often it's easy for you to miss information.

Now that you know, it's very easily solved.

I can't help but feel that you are just looking for the bad in the school though, tbh. I know you are obviously disappointed at the placement, but really, either you schlep out and home Ed, or look for a different school, or suck it up. This is her school.

They threw her juice away??!! Even if it was a no no (which at our school it is but juice is allowed with lunch - not at any other time though) they should have at least let her have it and then tell you at the end of the day.

I'm thinking she must have an overly strict TA/teacher?
I wouldn't recommend taking her out of school because of your worries though - these first few weeks are important to develop her friendship groups. Speak to them/ the office staff/ head teacher/ other parents etc and get their take.
By all means look for other schools if you aren't happy but bear in mind you may have a wait.

If you're expecting an offer for a preferred school in the next few days, and haven't sent your child in this week, this is probably not a problem that you need to spend lots of time mulling over.

We know it's not the right school for her, so even if they're right on this, which they might be, we will still move her at the earliest opportunity. However, I will try to get an appointment with the HT tomorrow to discuss the issues, if for nothing else than so they can prevent other parents from going through all this worry. DD is our only child, so we haven't been through the school system before, which is why I wish we had had the opportunity to have a settling in period - both for us and her.

I think a lot of our distrust of the school boils down to witnessing the screaming incident, but our efforts to talk have always been rebuked, so I haven't been able to shake the "lamb to the slaughter" feeling I've had at every school drop off.

It's very common for children to struggle in the early weeks of reception with the transition from being 'babied' at nursery to being expected to sort out things for themselves - things like asking to fetch their water bottle off the peg. It may be that there is a jug of water available, but your dd has forgotten, or lacks confidence to go and use it.

My dd was too scared to go to the toilet in her first couple of weeks, and ended up wetting herself and hiding behind a bush . She was found by some big kids, who (miraculously, I reckon) didn't tease her, but kindly took her to the TA. The TA did try to keep an eye out for her and remind her occasionally to go to the toilet, but realistically it's a class of 30 and the children do need to learn to cope with being part of a large institution.

Why the HT?

Class teacher or SENCO would be more appropriate, unless you are wishing to specifically discuss the screaming incident which happened three months ago?

Faith, you do seem to have rather made your mind up that the school are in the wrong over the SALT assessment. You shouldn't aim to 'prevent other parents going through all this worry' if actually the school have acted swiftly to get your dd the help she may need.

Please don't dismiss the referral just because you don't like the school. I'm not going to argue with you about the school - if you feel it isn't good enough, then you must go with that - but it may be that this is the ONE thing they have got right.

madwomanintheattic Because I haven't got a friggin clue who I can talk to, because nobody wants to! Honestly, who am I supposed to know who I need to talk to about what? I don't even get a "hello" from them most of the time!

I would have to be in school, everyday if I was complaining about screaming tbh.

Maybe your expectations are a little off. There is no such thing as a perfect school, they are a collaborative effort and there is always something to take issue with. How you do that is upto you but beware of transferring your feelings about the school or in fact school itself to your dd.

Your last 3 posts are about entirely separate thing though.
Re the Speech Therapy, I'm with the "I'd bite their hand off" contingent. They can't refer to a SaLT assessment without parental permission anyway, so either there's been a bit of a misunderstanding and they want her to have some language group work in school, or, they are suggesting they would like to refer her.

Of course, if your response to being worried about something is to keep your daughter off school rather than go in and talk about any concerns / worries you have and maybe resolve any misunderstandings before they build up to anything bigger than they need be, then you'll not know.
Also agree with everyone else about waiting list times - being referred now doesn't mean being seen now or anytime in the next 9 - 10 months in my authority, and, if at the time her appointment comes through she has clearly 'caught up' and there are no issues, then you could just let them know and they'll be delighted to have one off the waiting list. However, if you keep with the 'wait and see' approach, if/when you do decide she might need some help or you might need some advice, she'll still be the best part of a year away from it.

Faith, I don't quite understand? You said "every school drop off" but you also said she's only been in school for 2 days. I'm a little confused.

However, I'm a big believer in trusting your instincts on these things and you sound like your mind is made up about the school and you will only be happy when you move her. I would mention the SALT referral to your daughters new school when you accept the place to keep things moving along for her.

Faith77, go to school a little earlier than usual, check with the office if DD's teacher is around for a chat and speak to her with no other parents around. Drop off/pick up is notoriously busy for the class teacher and you won't get the full on attention you need to ask the questions you need to. Failing that if she is still unable to talk with you, make a proper appointment with the head.

OP, if you're hoping that your dd will be offered a place at another school by the end of the week, you honestly, honestly don't need to be getting so upset about this.

I do understand it's a shock. I went into an appointment with the HV, all ready to demand a referral, and then when she suggested one unprompted I cried. It's hard to hear from someone else. But really, it is a good thing.

They decided after two days, she was in for three last week. All of us have been ill since, so although it's only a heavy cold, it's been an excuse for some thinking space. DD still thinks it is the weekend and is unaware of any issues we have with the school, and she loves the idea of school.
I'm not opposed to speech therapy, or being referred, but it has been the way it's been dealt with, not being able to talk to them about it since they told us, and the context of all our other issues.

I think you must have PFB syndrome!!

Oh for crying out loud! It is NOT PFB to have concerns about your child's well being at school. It's not being PFB to be concerned that a child isn't being appropriately treated and it's not PFB to be bothered that a child was left without a drink all day. I am so sick of people shouting 'PFB' when a paent expresses legitimate concerns. It's really unpleasant.
Now that the OP has expanded about concerns about the school I can see exactly why this referral is concerning her.

Op - move your child and keep in mind that SALT may be helpful for her. See what a school you have trust in will do.