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No uniform at DD's new school - what does she actually 'need' clothes-wise for reception

29 replies

Bitzer · 22/08/2012 13:50

Just looking for tips really. At the moment she just has a motley collection of t-shirts (long and short-sleeved), a few dresses and some jeans. Maybe that's fine but would appreciate any guidance on bits they are definitely likely to need especially as she's growing out of a lot so we will have to start again soon.

Thanks v much

OP posts:
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fluffyanimal · 22/08/2012 13:54

Hard-wearing. Replaceable. Comfortable. With name tags (because things will get lost/mixed up/pinched). Sensible shoes. Raincoat.

hellymelly · 22/08/2012 14:00

You lucky lucky thing, am very Envy as I hate uniform on small children. You just need things like simple trousers, (ones that are easy to pull up and down) dresses and cardigans, t-shirts for with the trousers. All cotton as it is easier to wash out paint etc. Some spare pants for her school bag with tights and/or leggings as if they have accidents it isn't just the pants that get wet. A sturdy coat and or mac for outdoor stuff, wellies, daps or trainers for PE possibly, along with shorts or leggings. A bag that holds all her bits and bobs. Very comfortable shoes as she will have them on all day.

Bitzer · 22/08/2012 14:07

hellymelly - funny, I would rather have uniform just for the simplicity of it. And also because I used to really enjoy marking the end of the day / starting the weekend by putting on my own clothes. Was just part of the relaxation process.

V helpful tips on clothing - thanks very much.

OP posts:
Rosebud05 · 22/08/2012 15:52

Tops especially buy as cheaply as possible. Schools now do a lot of writing with marker pens on boards (so that children can rub out their mistakes very quickly) and they tend to stain. Cheap to the point of disposable would be my advice.

MuddlingMackem · 22/08/2012 17:45

Just because the school doesn't have a uniform doesn't mean that you can't put her in uniform clothing. It just means that you don't have to stick to one particular colour. Grin

If you want cheap, hardwearing and don't care if they get damaged stuff then why not just buy a mix of stuff from the uniform ranges. Unless your dc is really picky about clothes you could probably get away with it for reception. Although probably not after that. :)

dixiechick1975 · 22/08/2012 19:57

Leggings seem popular here for that age - my DD is 6. She has been in summer school (childcare) so non uniform and all the girls have been in leggings and top combos sometimes with a skirt aswell.

Ponders · 22/08/2012 20:03

when my DDs were small their school didn't have uniform.

They wore dress + tights, or trousers/leggings + sweatshirt, in winter & dress + socks/bare feet or t-shirt + shorts in summer

Their head of KS1 was staunchly anti-uniform because she "liked to see their personalities expressed in their clothes" - I always thought er, actually, at that age it's often their parents' personalities Grin

racingheart · 22/08/2012 20:22

I'd go for very easy clothes to dress and undress in, as changing for PE/swimming can take hours. So leggings and a long sleeved loose T in winter and a dress that can go over the head in summer, with velcro fastened shoes.

Bitzer · 22/08/2012 22:13

Very helpful tips all. Will write a list and start doing an online trawl.

muddling that's a v good point re the uniform ranges, I had wondered about that actually.

OP posts:
joanofarchitrave · 22/08/2012 22:25

A really thick, waterproof winter coat that she can wear light things underneath. The trouble with 'layers' for small children is they frequently don't take anything off - ds was often bright red in the face when I picked him up as he would be wearing 3 or 4 layers in an overheated school. IMO it's better to get a super thick coat as a top layer.

Closed shoes that she can put on by herself. You'd be amazed how many children have unsuitable shoes on at school. Don't give her any lace-ups (including trainers) until you are sure she is completely independent at using them (let's face it, few people buy lace-ups any more except for some trainers and Converse, but that's an embittered ex-TA speaking who spent what I felt was too much time helping children tie laces).

I personally am not wild about tights in school, fantastic though they look, unless your child is independent enough in dressing to be able to change her own tights if the feet get wet. But I don't have a daughter so I am willing to be told that's not an issue.

Waterproof gloves that attach to the coat. There's a reason that you still see children with gloves on a string going through their sleeves, it's the only way to avoid going through about 15 pairs a year.

I always regretted not buying snowboots when ds was younger. DS only wears them a few times a year but they make such a difference and you can resell them. Alternatively, buy decent wellies (i.e. that come up near the knee) and the fleece socks that go inside them to keep feet warm.

Likewise, waterproof trousers. No need to start the day soaking wet, anyway.

Get an easy way of naming things (like an indelible marker) and name EVERYTHING.

Haberdashery · 24/08/2012 22:07

You are so lucky! DD's school didn't have a uniform last year but the new head has brought one in and I've had to spend eighty quid on stuff I wouldn't ordinarily have bought and none of which DD or I particularly like. Grey and navy. Yuk. Black shoes. I just went today to get school shoes and I was very sad seeing the pretty colours and nice things we couldn't get. Sadly, I can't run to two pairs of proper shoes so she can have nice ones to wear outside school.

Last year in Reception, DD wore skirts/pinafores, leggings, socks, vests, T-shirts and cardis/fleeces. She could manage all this independently very easily and the leggings and socks combo is so much easier for small girls than tights in the winter. She did have jeans but struggled with the snap fastening, which might not be a problem for others. Leggings and socks was massively easier than trousers or tights, and I got her some lovely warm velour skirts which were really toasty for cold days. Gap and M&S both had nice warm skirts last year. Also got a nice denim pinafore from Gap which was hard-wearing and comfortable - I saw similar things in a few shops if Gap isn't good for you. H&M had cord pinafores last year, which were cheap, warm, comfy and pretty. DD had an orange one with pockets (handy for tissues when they inevitably get a snotty nose) for about a fiver. Also, she could wear all of this out of school as well as in it and there wasn't an issue if a particular thing wasn't clean on a week day.

The main benefit for me last year with the no uniform thing (apart from comfort and not having to spend money on horrible cheap grey clothes) was the choice in shoes. I got DD short fitted boots/trainer things with velcro which was way more practical than any of the school shoes I have seen for running about outside. Something like this only ours were somewhat cheaper. It meant I didn't have to send her in wellies and give her the hassle of changing out of them. I also didn't have to bother with the expense of snow boots or similar as her normal shoes were easily able to cope with the weather/temperature.

Bossybritches22 · 24/08/2012 22:22

God no give me a uniform every time. Much easier every day,no arguements about what to wear & their own clothes last longer. As they get older no one upmanship over labels & brands.

I second getting some bits of different uniforms ( cheap at the moment for one thing) so that you have enough for 5 days. Tops/shirts jumpers/cardigans/hoodies, etc

Haberdashery · 24/08/2012 22:59

I don't get how it's easier. I genuinely don't. I also don't get how their own clothes last longer. For a child of reception age, they will surely have grown out of their clothes before they are worn out whatever clothes they are? Or is that just mine? Also, what is the point in clothes lasting longer if they only get to wear them two days out of seven?

Also, the actual uniforms are horrible clothes and no cheaper than something like H&M. I don't understand why someone would prefer a nasty grey scratchy ugly pinafore to a lovely orange soft pretty cord pinafore. Equally, if I had a boy, a nice warm pair of fleece or cotton jogging bottoms or jeans would surely be much more sensible than a pair of ugly polycotton grey/navy trousers?

Uniforms are horrible. They add nothing to a school. They are horrible cheap ugly utilitarian clothing. They're AWFUL!

Hate the black shoes, hate the grey and navy and uniformity, hate the lack of trust in the kids to make sensible choices. It's all horrible. And most countries seem to get by fine without a uniform. Why can't we?

I never had an argument with DD last year about what to wear and nor, from what I hear, did other friends higher up the school. I think if you're having an issue about what your kids will and won't wear to school, it's a parenting fail, not a uniform fail, IYSWIM.

WildWorld2004 · 24/08/2012 23:07

I much prefer a uniform. Theres no spending hours deciding what to wear. We just get up & my dd knows exactly what shes wearing.

I think if we didnt have a uniform id probably spend more on clothes than i do for the uniform which isnt a good thing.

Haberdashery · 24/08/2012 23:19

But why would you spend hours deciding what to wear? Would you not just give your DD a choice of what was clean and she'd decide what she liked and was suitable for the weather? It would take a few minutes.

And why would you spend more on clothes?

You'd only have to buy one kind of clothes, without a uniform. Just normal clothes, that are suitable to wear at school or at play or at home. Easily sourced from cheap shops such as supermarkets, H&M etc. You wouldn't have to spend extra money on clothes and shoes that you wouldn't normally want to buy.

I think mainly that people who love uniforms have never experienced life without one in their childhoods. It's interesting. I also think that uniforms in this country do us no favours either practically or financially. But so many people are kind of brinawashed into it.

Can I ask those who like uniform, what kind of amounts and types of clothing would any of you buy for a child of age 5/6/7 to wear out of school and how much you'd spend?

basildonbond · 24/08/2012 23:19

my dc's primary changed from no-uniform to uniform when ds1 was going into y3 although it was still a pretty relaxed attitude to uniform at least for the first few years

I'd always hated uniforms on small children (scarred from having to wear a tie and a straw boater from the age of 5 Shock), however both my ds's (mild asperger's) were miles happier with a uniform - it helped them differentiate between home and school and they knew what to expect - one less thing to argue about

I do wish though that uniforms were better quality and just more comfortable - what's the point of having umpteen pairs of nasty polyester trousers when you could have one or two pairs of comfy, well-made ones ...

Haberdashery · 24/08/2012 23:33

however both my ds's (mild asperger's) were miles happier with a uniform

I can absolutely see this. My DD's school previously had an optional uniform which some kids wore. It is also a brilliant school for SN with a whole unit which is integrated as much as possible with the rest of the children as appropriate. I don't know if the AS kids wore uniform more than the others, but it sort of makes sense.

However, most children do not have asperger's or other similar issues around clothing and don't need that external cue to deal with the change from home to school. I think an optional uniform, in the shape of a sweatshirt or similar with plain skirts/trousers, is a good thing as it allows leeway for children to make their own decisions about what they feel is comfortable.

I do wish though that uniforms were better quality and just more comfortable

I have loads of reasons why I think uniforms are a big pile of crap. But this is one of the biggest. I don't want to dress my DD in a load of stuff that isn't warm, comfortable or practical and doesn't even look nice. What other reasons are there for choosing clothes?! Are there any adults on this thread who buy clothes purely because they are cheap and coated in Teflon?

joanofarchitrave · 25/08/2012 00:09

What haberdashery says. Ds's school doesn't have a uniform, many parents would like one, and I hope we don't go that way: I don't get why it is easier to have to have two separate sets of clothes for a child.

hellymelly · 25/08/2012 14:07

I completely agree with haberdasher. I HATE uniform for all those reasons- I end up spending a small fortune on clothes in natural fibres but the right colour, annoyingly a colour (navy) that doesn't suit my dds and that I would never buy otherwise. Then I have to buy the regulation blardyhell percent polyester polo shirts. Then navy shoes, uggh uggh and treble uggh.And then a whole other wardrobe for out of school. Standard uniform looks terrible really quickly as polyester bobbles, snags, and stains. Or you have stuff coated in endocrine disrupting "stain repellent" chemicals. Not what I want on a five year old. I want them in cotton or wool that can be washed and passed down. I think small children look beautiful in lovely colours, and uniforms (with the sole exception of Hill House!) are never ever lovely colours. Most primary uniforms are a cross between a dole office worker in 1983 and a postman. The out of school stuff my dds have lasts far far longer than their ruddy polycotton polo shirts which look worn out after a couple of terms.

hellymelly · 25/08/2012 14:09

Oh and I didn't wear uniform until high school, so maybe again, hab is right.

GobblersKnob · 25/08/2012 14:15

I love uniform. We had very little money when I was at school, uniform wasn't worn at any of the schools I attended and I was teased mercilessly for almost my whole school career from about the age of eight, because all my clothes were 'wrong'. The sense of not belonging was awful.

I love seeing mine trot into school looking like all their friends, there is a real sense of it not mattering a damn what they are wearing.

MuddlingMackem · 25/08/2012 20:25

I love uniform, even for primary, but when I was at school uniform was only for senior schools.

I just like not having to think about what they should wear. DS wouldn't care really, but DD is really picky about her clothes. Picking up on a what a PP said, I don't think clothes arguments are a parenting fail - unless the parent loses them - I think it's just a sign of a child who actually cares and has an opinion about their clothes.

beeroclock · 25/08/2012 21:17

My son has no uniform and I'm really pleased about it. Make sure she's comfy and it will be easier for her to learn. We have had no issue with teasing etc and I personally feel that they get that people are individuals and clothes are a bit of a non issue. There's a wonderful feeling of community and they all go into school 'mode' as soon as they get through the gates. The only thing I do is make sure he's in trackies on a PE day for ease of changing. Enjoy this new phase!

Haberdashery · 25/08/2012 22:09

We had very little money when I was at school, uniform wasn't worn at any of the schools I attended and I was teased mercilessly for almost my whole school career from about the age of eight, because all my clothes were 'wrong'. The sense of not belonging was awful.

I went to a secondary school without uniform. It was quite an expensive selective school but due to its generous bursaries there were quite a few children in each year whose families were really very poor, particularly in comparison to the actual millionaires etc (I was not one of these, was somewhere in the middle, well off but not rich and a long way off being actually poor). I never ever saw or heard of any bullying around clothes. Really, NONE. My best friend had two parents who were unemployed and one of whom was seriously unwell. She had no money at all for clothes and wore some extremely odd things. She was my friend because I liked her, not because of her clothes or lack of them. I think a school that allows that kind of teasing/bullying to go on is a bad school and you have more to worry about as a parent with a child at a bad school than what your kids are wearing. A good school will, as beeroclock says, make sure that children are able to look beyond the surface. In my experience of uniform and non-uniform schools, and I've attended both, there is far more teasing at uniform schools because clothing has become an issue - it just starts to be about shoes or lunchbags or something else instead of a skirt or a pair of trousers. Better to teach early and well that clothes do not matter. It is what's inside your head and how you behave that is important and any school that isn't teaching this really strongly is failing a bit, IMHO.

I don't think clothes arguments are a parenting fail - unless the parent loses them - I think it's just a sign of a child who actually cares and has an opinion about their clothes

DD also has strong opinions about what she will and won't wear. We certainly discussed her clothing a lot last year but she learnt early on that if something isn't clean or appropriate then she can't wear it. I think it did her a lot of good, actually. I didn't allow her to win the arguments where she wanted to wear her Tinkerbell outfit to school, obviously. But sometimes I let her wear something too hot or cold or uncomfortable to school and she came home nine times out of ten and said 'sorry, you were right'. The other time, she came home and said 'ha, it wasn't as cold as you thought' and I said 'sorry, I thought it was going to be cold'. All part of life's rich tapestry. I think, as I said, it did her a lot of good. Her clothing choices improved by leaps and bounds over the year! We started off with heated discussions a few days a week and barely had any by the end of the year. I actually think uniform is going to provide more arguments than non-uniform. She keeps saying 'but why don't the teachers have to wear uniform'. Hmmmm. I suggested she ask her teacher next year. She also dislikes grey heartily. I've compromised by making her a really nice skirt with a pretty-coloured lining in dark grey denim. I bet the school hates it but I don't care, actually.

hellymelly · 26/08/2012 01:00

I went to a bog standard Welsh primary where no-one was particularly well off and I don't remember any teasing ever about clothes, we all just wore similar fairly standard things, but this was the 60's/early70s (I am 48) and so rather a different world. My high school was very different, a private girls boarding school with a very strict uniform policy (a whole different uniform, with winter and Summer variants, just for SUNDAYS). But there I did get teased about clothes, just my (then thought very peculiar) collection of vintage, so more a teasing of me generally , and later I was immune to not fitting in and stopped caring at about 15. I think uniform is far less about fairness for all and far more about being forced to "fit in" and conform. I think at the very least there should be more flexibility, such as just a colour code. Must be a nightmare for children with excema for a start.