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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

DS's show-and-tell toy went home with wrong child.

31 replies

PeppermintCreams · 11/07/2012 10:09

Sorry this is long!!!

Every week my (PFB) son's school nursery class focus on a letter/phonic and they have to bring in something beginning with that letter. Last week was "X" and of course lots of xylophones and x-ray photos were brought in!

My son brought in a wooden ELC xylophone. (In hindsight I should have labelled it - and I am very cross with myself for not doing so!) We noticed another boy with the same one in the queue in the morning, and I jokingly said to my son, make sure you don't bring X's home with you, it looks a lot more damagedbattered that ours!!

Anyway, It didn't come home with him the same day because they were doing inductions into reception and we picked them up from a different place, and then the rest of the week his dad/nan has picked him up and I didn't think to remind them.

On Monday I mentioned it to the TA and she said Ohhh we did have one xylophone left and no child would admit it was theirs. So I looked at it and said that's definitely not our one, it's the one X had in the queue. (It has a very distinctive mark on the front)

So the TA has had a word with the mum in question this morning, and she has apparently sworn they brought their one home.

So what do I do now? I'm hoping the mum was just embarrassed and will go home and look at the xylophone and realise it's not their one. I don't want to sound petty but our one was in good nick, and the other one is damaged. Also my son knows that it's not our one. I won't see his teacher again today as they are doing more reception inductions, and his dad/nan will be doing the school run for the rest of the week. Should I write a letter?

OP posts:

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Set a reminder

Coconutty · 11/07/2012 10:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fluffyanimal · 11/07/2012 10:17

I think the only way you'll be able to tackle this is by accidentally on purpose meeting the mum yourself at the nursery gate, pushing the toy into her hands and saying all nicey-nicey, "Oh I'm so glad to have caught you, now I can give you back this toy which was given back to DS by mistake after show and tell, and you must have ours. So sorry not to have got it back to you sooner, when are you next dropping off so that I can collect ours from you?"

AmazingBouncingFerret · 11/07/2012 10:20

Write the other kids name on the back of the one you've got.
then do what fluffyanimal says, you can then, when she denies all knowledge, look all confused and say "but it has his name on it..."

Hopeforever · 11/07/2012 10:22

If you really want bad feelings with this mum for the rest of your child's school life at primary, then confront her or write to the teacher.

If not, then chalk it up to one of life's lessons to you (name toy as you have already mentioned) or your child (be responsible for your belongings)

The mum has already been aproached, she's unlikely to look fondly on you if you ask again. It could be an honest mistake.

You have years of things going missing at school ahead of you :(

fluffyanimal · 11/07/2012 10:37

Ferret I like your style! One could even say that the nursery nurses wrote the other child's name on .

Speaking as a mum who was mortified when my DS's knackered Charlie and Lola umbrella got mixed up with his friend's much-better looked-after Charlie and Lola umbrella and made a big point of making sure my DS got his knackered one back, I do feel for you OP. But ultimately only you can decide if simply buying a new one isn't the easier option.

Original poster

PeppermintCreams · 11/07/2012 12:12

I think we will talk to the teacher, rather than the TA, this time, and ask her to show the xylophone to the mum and say, "are you sure this one isn't yours".

Only problem is partner and MIL are doing the school run for the rest of the week, so they'll have to discuss it with the teacher, not me.

This child in question will not be in my son's class next year. She is in the wrong, even if it's an honest mistake, but I could identify their xylophone from half way down the queue, so not sure why she can't!? If the teacher can't resolve it this time, I will have to let it go, but I can't bring the other one home. My son knows it's not his one.

OP posts:

FallenCaryatid · 11/07/2012 12:15

So now you know why schools and teachers go on and on and on about naming objects. It's the only way that you have a chance of getting things back.

nannyof3 · 11/07/2012 12:16

I know this feeling... LO in brand new shoes.. Done pe and come back in a very old pair of shoes but the same type....

Thought the parent would swap over the next day as clearly they would know that there child didn't have brand new shoes...

But no.... Didn't even admit a swap happened !!!

FallenCaryatid · 11/07/2012 12:18

Happens with jumpers, coats, toys...forestalled WW3 because I'd taken photos of the different legomen with a name label and had the evidence. Dated too.
Parent was still arguing up to that point.

treas · 11/07/2012 20:19

Could you not ask school to put a note in the school news letter asking all parents to check at home - might shame someone into coming forward

Original poster

PeppermintCreams · 12/07/2012 07:20

Good idea Treas. They've done that when logoed jumpers have gone missing.

OP posts:

fanoftheinvisibleman · 12/07/2012 07:25

And don't make the mistake of assuming that stuff with names on it will be returned because some of ours hasn't and I've had friends tell me of starting to write names in hidden places as they were so sick of having name tapes pulled out and changed.

fanoftheinvisibleman · 12/07/2012 07:25

Original poster

PeppermintCreams · 12/07/2012 07:30

I've written a note. Purely because I'm not doing the school run today. It just says, could you please show the toy to the again parents and ask them to double check it's not theirs. If not could you put a couple of posters up (like you do with missing jumpers) in case it's gone home with another child.

I'm hoping she's going to bring it back today though.

OP posts:

Original poster

PeppermintCreams · 12/07/2012 08:06

Now I know why people post pictures of their children on facebook dressed up for school. It's not for sentimental reasons. It's evidence!

OP posts:

yellowvan · 12/07/2012 08:10

Moral of the story: Don't send anything into school you can't afford to lose.

LeeCoakley · 12/07/2012 08:12

The mum may have thought the TA was questioning the design of the xylophone not the actual condition. E.g. 'Are you sure it's your one?' 'Oh yes (it's an ELC one)'. TBH I wouldn't even look at the condition of a toy brought home, it'd just get slung into the toy box until it was played with again.

fatfloosie · 12/07/2012 10:48

Backing up LeeCoakley here that the other mum probably won't have done this deliberately. We had an incident over a switched bike recently at my DD's preschool. A mum I know had taken home the wrong bike and was convinced it was her son's until the other parent proved by the serial number that it wasn't. She is a really lovely woman and was mortified to have got it wrong (she had been asked but was sure the scruffier bike was not her son's). We reassured her by saying the last time she'd looked closely at her son's bike it probably hadn't been that scruffy and I think that might be the problem here - you know that's not your son's xylophone because your son's xylophone has never looked like that, whereas the other mother doesn't realise it's not her child's xylophone because it did at one stage look like that.

ninani · 12/07/2012 11:49

We have even had named clothes being mixed up with the teacher trying to pass the wrong (and not wearable oooohhh!!!) jumper to my son although my son kept on telling him "that's not mine, it doesn't have my name on it!!". We had to buy another one. We returned the jumper but the other family did not return ours and nobidy managed to prove who had taken it instead. This year again another kid got another jumper of our son before my son collected his from a place that apperently they were not allowed to hung them but the midday assistant had insisted they should. And when you tell the office they don't even try to ask who was the teacher or staff involved so they can inform them of the guidelines so it won't happen again.

RosemaryandThyme · 12/07/2012 11:52

How come anyone had x-rays to bring in ?

Original poster

PeppermintCreams · 12/07/2012 17:58

They weren't real X Rays - just printed off ones. I don't know if they were just taken from the internet or copies of ones they had at home.

I've spoken to MIL who did pick up today. The mum in question had brought the xylophone in, and MIL looked at both and they are were both in pretty much the same bad condition. So now I'm a bit confused. MIL said when she picked DS up last week there were loads of children walking out with the same wooden xylophone so I'm thinking at least a three way swap has happened. Nightmare! The was I saw yesterday was definitely the one this child was waving around in the queue had because of the distinctive mark.

I think we are going to let the nursery keep the battered xylophone and buy DS a more grown up one for Christmas. Next week is the letter Z. I'm printing off a picture of a zebra for him to bring in and typing his name on it!!!!!

OP posts:

Original poster

PeppermintCreams · 12/07/2012 17:59

*The xylophone I saw yesterday...

OP posts:

FallenCaryatid · 12/07/2012 18:01

Have a zinnia instead, everyone will do zebras.
7art-screensavers.com/wallpapers/flowers-13/xls/zinnia-red-flower.jpg

RiversideMum · 13/07/2012 06:30

Does the xylophone work? They are there for the making of music, not to look pretty! Like someone said, chalk it up to experience and label everything in future.

RillaBlythe · 13/07/2012 06:35

We have an x ray we could bring in, rosemary - were given a copy of DD's chest with coin clearly nestled in stomach. I think you can quite often get a copy of your x ray.

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