Behaviour issues with school

[MrsOB]

Hi

I currently have real issues with the bad behaviour at my son's primary school. He is in year one, it is a three form entry school, and some of the children's behaviour is just shocking.

Last night, for example, he came home and told me about a child (who has a person allocated to him because of his bad behaviour) who pushed another child to the ground and then proceeded to stamp on his face and neck.

DS has already learnt a wealth of swear words from this child (including the dreaded "c word"). My other issue is that so much of the teachers time seems to be sucked up in dealing with at least 3 'demanding' children and those children who do behave get overlooked and less focus on them.

I do understand that of course, all children are not angels, but this particular child surely shouldn't be allowed in a mainstream school to injure other children like this? He regularly lashes out at teachers and other children - one day his teacher had scratch marks all over her neck and face from him.

It has got to the point now where my son is scared to go to school in case this child hits him - what he saw yesterday really upset him. My husband is a police officer and as he rightly said, if an adult had stamped on another adults head, they'd be in jail. This child however, was back playing in the classroom with more fodder to beat up!!!

What do I do? Do I just let it go and wait for the day it happens to my DS? Or do I speak to the Head about it?

Thanks for your time and advice,

OP I'm fairly sure you won't turn it into a witch hunt but sometimes LAs will only really listen to parents and not school staff. You should go to the head with your concerns. Maybe you will be the tipping point so this boy gets what he needs.

raisin boys - it looks like your son is getting what he needs - exclusion for bad behavior. It will really help in the long run to know firm boundaries and to consider others.

Mrs - I think you should talk to the head. Or write to him if you prefer.

Skybluepearl, I assume you have no personal experience of DC's with HFA (High Functioning Autism).

Because if you DID, then you would understand that an exclusion is the WORST possible method of trying to STOP aggressive or violent behaviour in a child with HFA. Because the REASON they are lashing out is because they cannot process their emotions in the same way as other DC their age, and they are struggling to cope with what's going on around them.

If you exclude a DC who has HFA, it just breaks their 'routine' of going to school, and makes it harder for them to process their emotions. They then get stressed more quickly upon their return, and therefore lash out easier.

skybluepearl could you be any more patronising, sanctimonious and smug?

Go away!

sky your comments make perfect sense to a NT child (that's neurotypical. Or what you would call normal) but makes no sense at all to a HFA child. fWIW, I will try and explain:

My ds wishes to be escape from his nursery (I'm assuming you've read the whole thread, but just in case: I've taken the decision to not send my DS to school until he has a supported statement because he will be very disruptive). He can read and write, so tasks that would take most 4yos quite some time do not take any time whatsoever for ds, but his social skills are poor. So, he gets bored / frustrated / overwhelmed and becomes disruptive. Exclusion is not a punishment for my DS, it's a result!!! So exclusion is not going to hinder that behaviour, it's going to encourage it.