Is 8am - 3pm every day too much for a 3yo?

[EBDTeacher]

I've just seen a beautiful nursery school setting but there is no 'morning only' option so DS would have to do the above hours 5 days a week from day 1. (They offer the option of less days but I work every morning which I can't change).

Has anybody's 3yo done full days and survived? I know many children go to day nurseries for longer hours- but this is school in the sense that they have PE, playtimes, group learning etc so maybe a bit more intense.

I'm sure your DS would manage, and while it might seem more "structured" than your average day nursery the reality is that it will still be learning through play etc - but do you reallywant a setting that is so inflexible?

I don't think it is terribly inflexible. As they put it there is a 'balance' of child initiated play- which is what I want.

I wouldn't worry about it if it was just the morning and then he was going to potter at home or go out in the woods in the afternoon as we do now. I just wonder if it would be a bit much all day.

Ds3 went 4 days 8-6 and 1 morning and he thrived.

I think it sounds horrendous. Sorry. I'd be worried that they are talking about a "balance".

ds2 does 4 days 8-3.30 and then onto the childminder who does pickup/drop off for me. . He is tired when we get home, but loves it. The only thing Id be sad about is missing on mummy/ds time when not being at work, but I suppose 3 isnt too late a finish.

i assume there is chance to have a nap if necessary?

Yes, is there a nap?

Here (in France) children start school at 3, and it is tiring, but they also nap in the afternoons for an hour or so.

What time do you finish work?

where are you in the UK OP? Or are you abroad

Sounds fine. You could presumably pick him up early sometimes, just not pay less?
Ds goes to nursery from around 8.30 to 5.30 but the structured activities are from 9.15 to 5. And he still has a nap most days.

Yes, he could have an informal sort of a nap in the afternoon. It is the nursery class of a prep school rather than a day care setting though, so not geared up for regular sleeping.

DS is late August born, hence he will be just 3 when he starts. Incidentally it is not the school he will be going to from YR onwards- I can't use the nursery there as it has no wrap around care at all.

Ofsted rated it outstanding in every area recently, they have 2 qualified teachers and three qualified motessori directoresses for 33 children and the setting itself is lovely and very well resourced. It certainly isn't horrendous!

It reassures me that most people think he would cope.

I am in the UK by the way. Deepest Berkshire.

He will be fine. DS1 is early September, and certainly he was tired by school - he was a week off being 3 when he started.

The nap rooms in French schools range from proper bunk beds, to mats on the floor, and all the tired ones seem to manage to get a bit of a break.

Sounds like a nice place.

If you are teacher (guessing from name?) you will probably appreciate an hour or two to get things done before picking him up - and then you can give him your full attention.

My dd is almost 4 but was only just 3 when she started nursery school. Its 9-3 and although im off work on leave with bubba oringinally i was working... On the days i worked she had to go to a b4 and after school club which was from 7.30 am and i would pick her up at 4!

I'm going against the grain here but I do think it is too long for all but the liveliest of three year olds.
If your child has already dropped a daytime nap you will struggle to get them to have one again, and if they do they will then find it difficult to fall asleep at a reasonable time at night and then to re-jig the whole pattern for weekends and school holidays.
A 35 hour week for the child is pretty much committing them to a full-time job of having to behave, learn and get along well in a large group setting. For boys in particular this can be a tall order.
For you quite honestly you'll get the naff end of all this, rushing in the morning, having to be up early regardless of how late he's fallen to sleep, maybe not even having breakfast together if he is having brekfast at nursery, when you collect him he will be tired and if your driving him will either fall asleep in the car or be very grumpy. Evenings will be spent on supper and TV, he's unlikely to have to energy for playing with you and would probably crumble if other people were around and he had to continue to be on best behaviour.

If you need this provision in order to work then of course you must do it, but if you have a choice to reduce his hours a bit then I'd do that.

Those are all good points Rosemary.

I work until 1pm and I do have other pre-school options where I could pick him up then and have the afternoon with him. That is what I assumed I would do.

The place I saw today has made me think though as it was great- I prefered it to anywhere else I have seen- and I can really see my DS there. But he would have to stay until 3pm.

Dilemma.

Well, if he's going to go to a different school for reception next year, then in your position I would make the most of this last year of afternoons and find somewhere where he can do mornings only and spend more time with him.

I don't doubt that this nursery is lovely but if it can't provide the hours that work for you and your son at the moment, then I'd look elsewhere.

I think you might be right Rosebud. I doubt he'll remember much at all about his pre-school year but it is time with him that I will never get back.

There is at least one other pre-school that I liked nearly as much (although TBH not as much) where I could collect him at 1.30pm. Maybe I should go with that.

In the U.S. we call it pre-K 3 and ds2 did wonderfully. I think it also depends on the child. Ds1 would not have enjoyed it.

I think it is far too much. However good the setting is it is their Mum or Dad they need at that age and the comfort of home.

Might be worth thinking about what exactly it was that moved you so much when you visited this setting.

Was it the warmth of staff, the montissori ethos, the structure of the daily routine, the noisy bustle of children,the quiet engagement of children engrossed in their play etc.

I too looked around a nursey this week for my youngest, after two not-so good alternatives I walked into the third on my list and could have burst with joy - it was a simple pile of china plates that did it ! I have a thing about children having proper plates and not plastic ones and so does the lady that runs the nursery.

I think it was the calm, purposeful atmosphere Rosemary. The children seemed so relaxed and engaged. Also the experienced staff who obviously loved the place. As a teacher I know that happy staff make happy children.

I have another place to see yet. Maybe things will become clearer!

My ds has just turned 4 - he will be in reception in Sept and is in a setting like the one you have described (nursery attached to pre-prep). He was a lot more tired than I anticipated. He started doing just mornings and is now doing 2 afternoons as well as 5 mornings - but after a full day (until 3pm) he is absolutely exhausted.

Have you thought about getting a nanny for say 2 days?

Could you just book him in for this and then pick him up at a time of your choosing, if you didn't mind paying the extra hours but not using them?

I have just picked up on your comment re he isn't going into Yr R at this school - in this case I would definitely be looking for something else. One of the benefits I see with the nursery we are using is easing my dc into school

He could stay with his childminder for a couple of days a week if she would agree to that.

However, CM's youngest is the same school year as DS and I suspect she might stop minding when her DD starts nursery.