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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Is 8am - 3pm every day too much for a 3yo?

43 replies

EBDTeacher · 11/05/2012 15:46

I've just seen a beautiful nursery school setting but there is no 'morning only' option so DS would have to do the above hours 5 days a week from day 1. (They offer the option of less days but I work every morning which I can't change).

Has anybody's 3yo done full days and survived? I know many children go to day nurseries for longer hours- but this is school in the sense that they have PE, playtimes, group learning etc so maybe a bit more intense.

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VillaEphrussi · 11/05/2012 22:21

Is it absolutely essential that he stays for the full days? I'm only asking because my ds goes to a similar-sounding nursery, is late August born, started last September (having never been apart before) and I was worried about this (and didn't actually want him away from me for that much of the time before it's necessary), and I found that as long as I pay for full-time it's fine to do half days.

As it stands, it's absolutely wonderful - they have excellently structured days built with enough interest and variety to keep 3/4 year olds going, and actually, two terms in, my ds asks me every day if he can stay all day. It's been wonderful.

Original poster

EBDTeacher · 12/05/2012 07:50

I got slightly mixed stories. One person I spoke to said that it was possible to take children home before lunch at 12.

That just isn't an option for me as I work until 1 and if I worked less I wouldn't be able to afford the nursery.

I asked whether it would be possible to pick up after lunch. Not really apparently. I suspect I could hassle them into it but I would have to pay for the afternoon which would be quite a significant block of money to pay for 5 afternoons at a very expensive setting that we didn't use.

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Lizcat · 12/05/2012 09:41

It is amazing how well they cope and then go on to thrive. DD went into preschool at 2.5years which was 8 to 5pm 5 days a week. I was initially concerned that at 2.5years she would find some of the ore structured sessions like French tiring, but the staff reassured me that these were free choice and the children could go off and do something else if they wanted to. Yes she was tired for the first couple of weeks no different to every September moving up a class now. She thrived and absolutely loved it and astounded me by how she sucked up the knowledge and still now comes out with things (she's 8 now) that she learnt at preschool about lifecycles etc.

Tgger · 12/05/2012 12:31

Is he just 3 or nearly 4 when he starts? If nearly 4 then he won't be much younger than the youngest Reception children doing those hours 5 days a week. And would there be an option to do say 3 days and 2 days with a different childminder if necessary, or do you not want to get into this? I am going to put my 3 year old in for 3 full days from September, well 8.45-3.00. She will be 4 in November and I know they often chill out after lunch.

Tgger · 12/05/2012 12:33

For her I wouldn't do the 5 full days in any setting. Not yet, it's too much, mind you we do have the option of upping her sessions during the year so watch this space...

jellybeans · 12/05/2012 12:38

I tried it with my DD when she was 2 years old, 8-5 Mon-Fri and it was too much and too regimented, she hated it. It was for childcare reasons rather than pre school. I took her out and SAH as I realised it wasn't what we wanted. I am sure some kids love it though? My DTs did one full day at pre school age 3 and the rest mornings.

trixymalixy · 12/05/2012 14:04

I'm sure your DS would be fine, but personally I wouldn't do it unless it was strictly necessary to enable you to go to work. It won't be long until he has to go to school so I kind of think that time at home is precious if he doesn't need to be at school.

jamaisjedors · 12/05/2012 14:51

Actually Rosemary and Thyme is right, that's pretty much our experience but everyone sends children to school here at 3, and also we both work full-time so there's no other choice.

The end of the day is not much fun when they are shattered...

vesela · 12/05/2012 15:59

DD did 9-4 in a Montessori preschool at that age, five days a week, and was fine (with a nap). She loved it, and still does.

If it's a lovely place, I'd go for it, and see how it goes. Really, the most important thing is not how long they're there, but who they're with - as you say, happy staff = happy children. If you like and trust the teachers then I'd say that's a major plus. One of the reasons I like my DD's preschool is that the teachers are fantastic at talking to the children, helping them solve conflicts etc.

(I'm surprised they won't let you pick up at 2 sometimes though - DD's preschool has always been very flexible on that. I can see they wouldn't want to give a discount for the hours lost, but again, if it's a great place, it's worth IMO forgoing that).

Original poster

EBDTeacher · 12/05/2012 17:57

It's not really an option financially to pay for the afternoon session but continue to work until 1pm and not use it.

If I paid for the afternoon session I would realistically have to up my hours and work until 2.30 or so to pay for it!

As I say, they are not at all keen for that arrangement anyway.

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Original poster

EBDTeacher · 12/05/2012 18:01

I am seeing another setting next weekend at which the morning session ends at 1pm after lunch.

Hopefully it will blow me away and the above dilemma will be solved!

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Lostinroseland · 12/05/2012 22:14

Just to add to this at the pre-prep nursery where my dc goes to there isn't a lot of flexibility for "naps". It seems pretty full on - hence the tiredness....

SundaeGirl · 12/05/2012 22:18

This would be too much for DS2 (3yo) or DS1 when he was that age. Maybe it depends on the child but mine wouldn't cope well.

Rainydayagain · 13/05/2012 19:46

My dd could do that, but i wouldn't want her to. They have years for structured learning. Don't you want to just walk in the woods, stomp on the leaves, swim....

You will never get the time back. I want mine to have the luxuary of a relaxed carefree childhood. You can bet once school starts thats not an option.

Original poster

EBDTeacher · 13/05/2012 21:46

Yeah, I do want to do that Rainyday.

I just got my head turned by a lovely nursery. I hope I will be able to find a great pre-school that is more flexible.

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Tgger · 14/05/2012 11:38

Well, it is an option at the weekend and after school. This is life for some kids with working parents. And also at a very good setting, an outstanding one then your kid will get these experiences just they will be shared with other adults not you. They will enjoy fantastic relationships with such adults that are broadening and perhaps may become more independent and confident through these.

Just giving the flip argument. Generally in this country (sweeping statement coming, watch out..) the quality (or lack) of provision means that 3 year olds are better off at home for more of the time than you propose, but in the right setting they could thrive it just means you share a bit less time- so if you are not ready to let your child go so to speak then don't!

Dancergirl · 14/05/2012 13:46

I would also say it's too much for a 3 year old.

Yes of course he will 'survive' but you don't want that for your child - you want the best option for him and for you.

Also if you're only working mornings and he goes to this nursery, you will miss out on time with him in the afternoons. There is plenty of time ahead for him to go all day. My youngest dd is in reception so is there all day; I would kill for her to have a few afternoons off so I can take her on an outing or whatever.

Becksharp · 14/05/2012 14:10

My Ds2 did nursery at a pre-prep from being 3 and he had an 8.30 to 3pm day 5 days a week (although we sneaked days off where work allowed). He loved it there although he was tired - but my opinion was that he had to be in childcare while I worked, and much better in a more engaging setting - often children in daycare type nursery have totally outgrown it by 3 and need something a bit more. That said, I wouldn't have sent him somewhere til 3pm if I was out of work from 1pm, not 5 days a week anyway.

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