Teachers aibu to be a tad miffed over this or do I need to take a deep breath?

[MrsHeffley]

So I wrote a letter to ds's (8)teacher re lack of communication re an ongoing issue and ds took it in today.Our KS 2 teachers are impossible to see prior school and never bring the dc out so a letter is the only way of communication unless you want to play hunt the teacher round the very large school. Said teachers have meetings and clubs which I understand.

Communication is a bit of an issue with several parents which school are aware of.

Anyhow ds came out today with no reply(understandable),his teacher didn't pop out though or ask him to send me in. So no acknowledgement what so ever.

When I was teaching I'd always reply the same day to any issues with parents, however it was KS1. Are things different in KS2(year 3)?

I'm just finding the attitude in the upper school incredibly rude and arrogant to be frank and completely different to KS1 where teachers were always available and happy to deal with issues/questions. It's nigh on impossible to bloody have any form of communication with KS 2 teachers,it's as if they think parents should be kept completely at arms length and should never bother teachers.

It's an Outstanding school

So big deep breath or any ideas on how to handle it?

TIA

Hi Mrs. Heffley:

I think I'm in fallenCaryatid's camp: e-mail the school and request the teacher contact you about arranging a meeting at his/ her convenience regarding your DC. Perhaps suggest a few good times/ days for you (e.g. I'm free most mornings Monday - Weds. , etc...).

If you feel that's going to far - then make a point of nabbing a TA/ Teacher at drop off or collection time (if you are there) and ask to arrange a meeting.

Teachers are busy and yes, there may be more severe learning issues than yours in this class - but on the other hand this is your issue and from your perspective it's a concern - so it isn't unreasonable to want to talk about your DCs concentration with the teacher. Also set boundaries - I need 5 minutes, I'd like to discuss this in depth for 20 minutes, etc... and possibly send your questions in advance - so the teacher can already be thinking through the points your raising.

Teachers can presume you want to complain (you're a parent - parents always complain) so perhaps signal (in well over the top language) that you want their advice on how you can help at home and to understand what the issues are in class a bit better. That should ensure the teacher's expert opinion is being sought, rather than a confrontation.

HTH

Any update OP?

Yes I had a nice letter(yes I did feel baaaaaaad and v glad I sought advice re taking a deep breath).Said teacher apologised re not filling me in as promised and has explained a lot to alleviate a lot of my concerns.I sent a nice card/note back to say thank you as it was appreciated.

However I do feel the communication thing is woefully inadequate.Sorry but I think 7,8,9 year olds still need support and communication between parents/teachers-the more the better actually.To be honest I'd rather they cut back on other things if needs be to give teachers more time, even clubs as nice as they are.

I kind of think having to write every single time I want to discuss something and need a swift reply is madness,time consuming and makes the whole thing worse. Basically if we'd been able to have a 2 minute chat at chuck out time or a written note in the link book as promised it would have saved a lot of time for both of us and worry for me.

I just think an outstanding school should provide outstanding communication between parents and teachers,our school doesn't.It seems to be deemed as not important and a pita to be honest.

Anyhow thanks for all the advice(even the harsh advice) as it did make me take a step back.

I've got to be honest if you want more than a couple of minutes chat with me you need to give me plenty of notice and make an appointment via the office if possible. I'm usually working with struggling pupils before and after school and during lunch breaks so need to give their parents warning.

The first thing I do after kids leave is go to the toilet. Trouble is everyone thinks they are your priority whereras I am usually juggling lots of different things and people.

I'm usually free between 7 and 8 am, after that there is usually someone who needs to see me!

Me too rainbowinthesky - mind you we have 2 toilets and between 15 and 19 staff so you need to move fast to get there before the rush, luckily my classroom is closest to the toilets!

I have come out of the toilet at the end of the day to be greeted by a parent saying "oh there you are [in a cross voice] we've been looking for you"
I then had to tell her that when I had washed my hands I would be available for a quick word

I'm glad things are OK and you've received a useful response.
I realise you find communication frustrating, but many teachers do too. You say you would be happy if teachers dropped clubs so they could be free to talk to parents, but I doubt many parents think that at my school. Every teacher and many TAs run at least one club a week, with careful monitoring to check a fair spread around year groups, but every parents' consultation we undertake and frequent emails, letters and verbal comments show that we have a vast number of complain about us not running enough clubs!

Our KS1 teachers just stand by the door as the kids leave.They manage to have very snatched 2 min conversations with several mums as they hand out letters wait for the last few to leave the classroom.Seems to work and it's all most would need. Obviously anything longer would need an appointment.

I do feel for teachers re clubs,I really do.I suspect it's not a choice thing all the time.Just think priorities are a bit skewed sometimes re the all singing all dancing schools when actually most parents(well me at least) would prefer less frills and more communication if they had to pick.You can't have it all and as much as I appreciate clubs how my dc are in the classroom is my priority iykwim.

I completely agree. I know the children enjoy the clubs and for some parents it is useful bit of free child care. But it's 4.45pm by the time everyone is collected and I've cleared up from the club (someone's parent is always late), then I can go back to my classroom to tidy up, start the marking, update the assessment records, fine tune the following day's lessons, find the resources, etc. I'd much rather spend my time planning and preparing effective lessons, rather than when I'm tired after a full day's teaching and running a club. (Would improve my work/life balance as well!)

Every teacher in our school has an afternoon slot each week for a 'surgery.' Parents can pop in to talk about any concerns then.
But in addition, we all collect our classes off the playground in the morning and that's when "he's lost his reading log," or "the hamster died, she's upset" stuff gets mentioned.

However, a few weeks ago, my colleague had a parent at the office at 10 past 9 demanding the receptionist "go and get the Mrs x NOW, I need to speak to her." Refused to accept Mrs X was teaching and was so arsey, the HT had to come and ask her to leave.
It's no accident that it sometimes seems teachers are hard to get to. The vast majority of parents (and children ) are lovely and only need a quick word, but it's the aggressive few who've led to this situation in some schools.

Is the slot after school clam?

The teacher is "available" from 3.20 - 4pm.

thanks. I usually end up using my PPA time to talk to parents but can't think of an alternative

It was set up to try to avoid the constant drip each day of "can I just have a quick word" which is, of course, always more than that. It confines it to the one day.

unfortunately I run interventions for 1hr straight after school so it isn't really an option ... never mind

Good Lord woman, what is the matter with you?
You should be considering a weekend consultation slot, possibly Sunday before church?

What, every day???

of course that's the answer

images.wikia.com/peanuts/images/4/49/Lucy-van-pelt-1-.jpg

Just a thought, bit of photoshopping and you could have cards and everything.

daytoday "I don't list how busy my day is? Why do some of the teachers here do this?"

Because there have been a number of posters who have wondered why the teacher hasn't immediately responded to the OP's note. It's therefore relevant to point out how busy the day usually is.

I'd ring the office up and ask them what the best way to see the teacher is (and expect it to be by appointment).