Teachers aibu to be a tad miffed over this or do I need to take a deep breath?

[MrsHeffley]

So I wrote a letter to ds's (8)teacher re lack of communication re an ongoing issue and ds took it in today.Our KS 2 teachers are impossible to see prior school and never bring the dc out so a letter is the only way of communication unless you want to play hunt the teacher round the very large school. Said teachers have meetings and clubs which I understand.

Communication is a bit of an issue with several parents which school are aware of.

Anyhow ds came out today with no reply(understandable),his teacher didn't pop out though or ask him to send me in. So no acknowledgement what so ever.

When I was teaching I'd always reply the same day to any issues with parents, however it was KS1. Are things different in KS2(year 3)?

I'm just finding the attitude in the upper school incredibly rude and arrogant to be frank and completely different to KS1 where teachers were always available and happy to deal with issues/questions. It's nigh on impossible to bloody have any form of communication with KS 2 teachers,it's as if they think parents should be kept completely at arms length and should never bother teachers.

It's an Outstanding school

So big deep breath or any ideas on how to handle it?

TIA

Nope was definitely handed in.

"What really bugs me is when school want support for things that are important to them"

You mean, important to YOUR children.

I'd be interested to know how long you taught for and how long ago, and if you were fulltime. And if you had children whilst trying to do all that.
Because you don't sound like a teacher, you sound like a parent who isn't used to juggling all the things some of us have to and the fact that sometimes the wheels fall off.
Wanting to talk about your child's poor concentration is a fairly nebulous concern, what are you hoping for out of the meeting? Is he on the SN register?

'"What really bugs me is when school want support for things that are important to them"

You mean, important to YOUR children.'

One of the nicest things a parent ever did was to come to a parents' evening for her ten minute slot and brought me a thermos of soup and some home-made bread to tide me over the four hours. I felt like a human being.

FallenCaryatid, what a lovely gesture from a parent.

OP, I'l be honest, if I had received your letter today you wouldn't have had a reply.

I was on duty this morning at playtime, dinnertime I ran a Singing club so had about ten minutes in which to eat.
At afternoon playtime I had to meet with the Speech Therapist and after school there was a staff meeting (which didn't end until 6pm) so your letter would have been moved to my list of things to deal with tomorrow.

If it hadn't been such a hectic day I would have written a reply, or popped out at the end of the day to see you.

Possibly your DS's teacher just didn't have timt to priortise you today.

All the good teachers I've experienced have made time for a conversation - but then, I'm quite sure that I'm not PFB or 'needy' or 'hovering' or any other those horrific terms used to deskill parents and slot them into a cliche.

The best teacher I've ever had, called me up on the phone. I was gobsmacked by her proficiency. It was a lovely year, great teaching and the kids got on great as a result.

Only the really crap ones who cant deal with anything, don't respond.

My first thought however, would be to presume the teacher didn't get the letter and hand in a copy to the office.

Also, I guess it depends on the nature of the communication.

I don't list how busy my day is? Why do some of the teachers here do this? Do they presume the rest of us have lunch hours and don't bring work home too? Some of us are fitting in a lot too.

Funnily enough communication is important to my child and that goes both ways.

Fallen I didn't want a meeting just a reply and some promised dialogue that isn't happening re an ongoing problem.No he isn't SEN so does that mean I have no right want his needs to be met and some communication?

To be honest I'm clueless as to the correct procedure,we're not supposed to e-mail I don't think,it certainly isn't encouraged or advertised.

Ajumped thanks for that,that's helpful.

Daytoday the other teachers have been fab on the whole and in KS1 are very available before and after.I'm sure they're busy too.

I want to support the school.Having my ds not concentrating isn't good for them or him.

He definitely handed the letter in,I can read him like a book and after the rollicking he got yesterday,not handing it in wasn't an option.He's a good kid on the whole(when he's not supposed to be concentrating in school).

I assume from that you'd like a quick knee jerk reaction from the teacher rather than a well thought out reply with ideas of how they can improve. They may also need to take ideas higher...

Five minutes at the end of the day is a totally reasonable request.

Your share of that is ten seconds. Just like every other parent's would be.

Make an appointment.

Sun 10 seconds would have been enough.Anyhow I will take my deep breath and wait as I said.

Are you supposed to make appointments for everything just out of interest,even trivial little things?It just seems a poor use of time.

Are you supposed to make appointments for everything just out of interest,even trivial little things?It just seems a poor use of time.

Sorry, I was under the impression you needed to talk to the teacher about improving your child's concentration issues.

I didn't realise that was a trivial, little thing.

Ten seconds would have been enough time?
You must have taken longer than that to write a note. What on earth could you ask or say in such a micromoment?
'His concentration is poor whatchagonnado?'

No not this issue re in the future.

With kids parents will need to communicate with teachers from time to time however unpopular this is.Some things will be important and some less so.Kind of confused given the lack of accessibility at our school how you're supposed to convey/ask the less important things if letters are a no no,ditto actually speaking to a teacher.

I'm a ks2 teacher. At every school I've worked in (4 schools) it's been standard practice to see the children out at the end of the day. Always for 2 reasons: to see the children safely off the premises and to be available to parents. It's the same at DS's school. I'm surprised at the number of teachers on here who think it's unreasonable to do this.

FWIW our ks2 teachers bring classes out. If you have a problem or even just want to pass the time of day they are approachable until 3.30 when clubs begin. They don't all stay this long but if you make your intention known they will see you. I think this is good management and according to dd's teacher saves time on attending meetings with parents when a simple conversation will sort it. Obviously more important issues call for an appointment.
I do see your point op. This is just a good school but for me outstanding where communication with parents is concerned.

I think the (presumably) teachers going on about 10 seconds are being facetious. It's hardly as if all parents want to talk to the teacher everyday. Anyway, OP has been beaten into submission so your mission is accomplished.

I think it's odd not to be able to email and ask for a meeting at either end of the day.

I don't think it's unreasonable for teachers to be available for short comments or chats.

I do think it's unreasonable to expect a teacher to intuit that you want to have a discussion, or to be available for an extended discussion at the drop of a hat.

Not a KS2 thing - it's a school thing. DS' infants were crap, wouldn't give piss on you if you were on fire. his junior are brilliant. Although I need less communication now he's in year 3 IMO.

Problem for teachers would be if parents knew they were available 5/10 minutes after everyday they'd all want to chat everyday for 5 minutes - then it become an hour!

I would ring reception and leave a message for his teacher to call you if it's something you really need to discuss with him/her.

My dcs school doesn't bring them round at the end of the day, but if you need to ask a teacher about something, you pop into Reception and say "Please can I have a word with Mrs So and So?" and they then come to Reception if they are not already in a meeting / on the phone / running an afterschool club. If they are then Reception sees if someone else can help (Snr Management maybe) or if the teacher can ring you about it. No problem. No formal letters needed. Maybe the teacher feels that if you have written a formal letter, then you are expecting the same back? Maybe they are checking with their line manager about something you have written in the letter ? IME childrens teachers have always been more than happy to go out of their way where there has been an issue, but then, I've never troubled them over trivial things - I trust them to get on with their jobs.

Sun I wasn't expecting it to be sorted there and then just a brief chat with a do we need to meet for longer stance to it?Believe you me I'd prefer to avoid both of us having to clear diary space to meet. Any reference(with a suggested later conversation if needs be) would have been enough to be frank. However as I've said a big deep breath is being taken.

Re at the end of the day I just think re behaviour issues it's so helpful to be able to say to parents just in passing "so and so had a great day today" or "I had to have words today".I'm kind of that a lot of poor behavior in class will never get reported to parents as it happens when teachers don't see kids out.

I like to give out consequences when less desirable behavior happens ie support the school.Not keeping up a steady line of communication is a missed oportunity imvho.

At the last school I worked at teachers were not allowed to send out letters to parents. If a written response was required it had to go via the office to be typed on headed paper and checked by either SLT or office manager. That delayed any replies.
I'm not saying your school has got it right, or that teachers shouldn't be available to meet with parents, but there may be a bigger picture there and there could be any number of reasons that you haven't got a response in the time frame you want.

Gosh I do find this all a bit strange!

At our school the teachers usually take the classes in and escort them out at all levels. Usually there is time for quick comment if needed - and in any one morning I would say about 3 parents do so at any one a time. But I mean quick comment (eg X had cold at weekend so let me know if any problems / I can help on school trip / can I check what XXX meant on the school letter etc ) so usually done in two mins. Not every teacher is available at every am / pm but they are there most times

Helps the general flow of communication to and from school really well for all concerned i would say and I would struggle to see how things would work without this. So yes to me this lack of QUICK availability at your school is odd.

Have never seen it abused ie parents holding on to teacher for ages

Any bigger chat then i would send a note in or ring to make an appointment. But with bigger issues I would not expect an immediate response as a bigger time commitment would need more planning and sorting to arrange. The head is always mailable over general school issues. Or the school office of course

So I would say overall KS2 in your school does have a big day to day communication issue (which in turn may make you feel exasperated), but on this matter I would give them a chance!

HTH and you get a chance to sort soon