10 things you probably would not expect about primary schools

[meredeux]

Come and help me make a list for all those parents out there who are about to send their children to school for the first time. What did know one tell you but you learned through experience?

Here is my first one:
YOU (the parent) will teach your child to read. The school will provide reading books and someone (probably not the teacher) will listen to your child for a few minutes at a time in the first couple of years maybe once a week but your child will learn to read because you will teach them that (using the school's reading books which the teacher will issue).

but one thing I have learned, you will need lots of cash. And I mean cash. No direct debits, standing orders, bank transfers, cards, any of the normal means for paying for things these days. Actual cash money.

Schools do not seem to have entered the normal banking world.

With regard to labelling items e.g. a jumper. Put first name and surname on tag for identification by an adult. Put name or identifying marks on the inside of the neck band with a permanent pen for your child to recognise as his/her own. Also helpful incase someone else decides they'd like it and then snip the name tag. Also when you think you can't label it any more, initial the label on the seam. If children can identify their own clothing it's a much more positive experience for them. There are lots of arguments over clothing - 'it's blue so it must be mine'. Also lunchboxes - name on the OUTSIDE!!! Children are often halfway through someone else's lunch before they realise they've picked up the wrong box.

On PE days - dress them in clothes they can manage themselves as this builds their confidence. E.g. not normally tights, lace-up shoes, pinafore dresses, shirts with buttons or tight clothing in general. Tie their hair back and leave earrings at home. Obviously this list is mainly for the girls!

When i was in the last year of primary we were given the privilge of helping in the infant class one afternoon a week. I remember the teacher was always listening to two children read at the same time while we played with the others. She couldn't possibly have actually been listening to either and the rest were learning nothing. Parents presumably happy because their child was heard read daily.
My 7 year old is taught not just to recognise words but also to make inferences and think about the characters. She reads all the time in lessons, just not from a reading scheme book.
OP's experience isn't mine.

Margo - schools are gradually moving into the 21st century with applications such as ParentPay, so don't despair!

Do not believe anything your child tells you about what happened at school unless you have signed statements from at least two reliable witnesses. Yournchild will probably not be lying- but a child's view of the world and what actually happened are two completely different things. Particularly if they start "mum- it's so unfair......"

MrsGuyOfGisbourne Thu 19-Apr-12 11:25:31

Surely the point about the 'resources' needed for the teacher to hear reading every day is a helpful reinforcement of what the OP originally said ie that it won't happen, so don't expect it, so where's the disagreement on that? ??
surely the OP said YOU (the parent) will teach your child to read. The school will provide reading books and someone (probably not the teacher) will listen to your child for a few minutes at a time in the first couple of years maybe once a week but your child will learn to read because you will teach them that (using the school's reading books which the teacher will issue).
which isn't quite the same thing. I teach children to read but I don't see them enough hours to hear all 30 read for 1 hour a day or even 1 hour a week. However since they leave my class able to read and they don't read at all at home I think it is fair the assume I'm the one who taught them.

Exactly - which is the total opposite of the OP.

Wrt to all the posters who think the thread is lighthearted - some posts are, but the OP's posts are very bitter. Whilst she obviously does have an axe to grind, a thread aimed at new parents is not the place to do it.

A small percentage of parents will be shocked by, and resent, the expectation that they should hear their children read every night, even though that has been the expectation FOREVER. Yes, that's right. Even when they were four or five years old themselves.

You will need to learn a whole new language of acronyms eg. Walt, wilf, sat, sen, pshce are just a few.

One of my class brought her reading book /home school record into school today ... the FIRST time since SEPTEMBER!

She's moved up 4 book bands since it was last changed

Other parents will spout a load of uninformed, biased shite (not unlike OP).

You will help your children read faster and be able to devote time to listening to them that a teacher with 20 other children to hear can't but your child will be provided with the building blocks to aid reading in the form of daily phonics input/games/use of resources as well as graphic knowledge of common non-phonetic words. So you and the school will be teaching your child to read.

What a poorly disguised attempt at another teacher bashing thread.

No matter how many home cooked, organic healthy meals you make a year your child will always, always get asked to write/ draw 'what they had for dinner last night' the one time you gave them beans on toast or fish fingers.

Your help however small will always be appericiated.

Gone are the days where parents could just send their kids in to school, remind them to do their homework, buy a few extra copies of Coles' Notes and their equivalents for each subject from age 8, and you could pretty much have an offspring with straight As and a few Bs. Now parental involvement is reqiured from age 4, parents can get told off (not just the pupil) for homework with misleading instructions not being done as the teacher intended (but not communicated).

Despite our taxes and other efforts, this means an even more uneven playing field for kids. Families with serious home issues - alcoholism, poverty, drugs, violence, severe disability of one or both parents, deprivation, etc - are very very unlikely to have a child succeeding in this system. And that's true for private school as well as state school. (Granted, deprived families don't tend to send children to private school). It's not good for society, it's not good for employers, it doesn't benefit anyone. (Sorry, soapbox rant over).

I do like seeing the very creative crafts and baked goods that come back home from reception class though. We'll no doubt produce a lot of creative artists and bakers in the next generation.

Parentpay whatever it is, I want it. We don't have it but I want it

Baking is a great maths activity and you get to eat the answers

Classes are very big and can have a significant number of very disruptive children. Teacher spends a lot of time and energy dealing with this. Average children will do fine. Children at the bottom and top of ability scales will underperform, sometimes very significantly underperform or even lose all interest in learning. Very sad.

It is crucial for parents to be on the ball, to monitor progress, to proactively raise potential issues with the school and then put a plan in place to address these issues with or without the school. Parents should not just focus on phonics/reading/writing but also keep a close eye on numeracy and science. Don't worry too much about arts, they will do lots at school, more than you imagine, so at home focus on the key subjects if you expect your child to go to university at a later stage.

Don't expect children to get much physical exercise, so plan afterschool opportunities to use up some energy.

Don't expect school to teach children social skills, such as how to play nicely with each other, how to make friends, etc. They don't and playground supervisors prefer to chat amongst themselves rather than sort out squabbles.

These are generalisations, but based on experience nevertheless.

"These are generalisations, but based on experience nevertheless"

Experience of how many schools?

I could say parents never read with their children based on experience of the child I mentioned earlier but it would clearly be untrue of most parents.

If you want classes smaller than 30 children and very few disruptive ones, go private.

My local state primary has 15 per class

Yes, but as a sweeping generalisation, most do not :o

(Especially not in London)

13. Teachers will talk to you during your consultation in a language called National Curriculum. You have no idea what they're talking about.

I so agree with this! In Scotland, it is a language called Curriculum for Excellence and it never uses one word when it can use 5 pseudo-scientific edu-speak ones.

In Scotland:
Your teacher will be reluctant to give you the slightest idea how well your child is doing in relation to their peers, but if you do not have this information it is very hard to know if your childs progress is in the range of 'normal' or if you should worry.

In fairness, this is not the teacher's or school's fault - they are in a CfE straightjacket.