10 things you probably would not expect about primary schools

[meredeux]

Come and help me make a list for all those parents out there who are about to send their children to school for the first time. What did know one tell you but you learned through experience?

Here is my first one:
YOU (the parent) will teach your child to read. The school will provide reading books and someone (probably not the teacher) will listen to your child for a few minutes at a time in the first couple of years maybe once a week but your child will learn to read because you will teach them that (using the school's reading books which the teacher will issue).

1. If there is a problem relating to your child's progress, then its up to you to sort it out with devising extra work at home or private tutors. However, the teacher will make you aware of the problem in the first place, if you are lucky to have a good teacher.

1. There is a high correlation between good SATS results and high % of children who are privately tutored.

The teacher will absolutely NOT believe you if you mention your child is particularly bright or advanced.

The classroom display will give you a headache.

You will be give a maximum of 3 days notice to make a costume for a special day.

It will just be assumed that you know where to go, stand, park your buggy etc.

1. The school playground can be a brutal place for mothers at school pick up time. All those people who were the school bully back in the day, seem to cluster at the gates at pick up time!

1. If 1-3 are the case, you should consider other local schools. This is not common to all primaries.

Your DC will do "I don't know" or "I don't remember" most of the time

Your child may struggle in a subject for a whole half a year but the first you'll know about it is parents evening where there will be just enough time to flag it up but not enough to discuss and devise strategies.

You will only work out what they had for lunch by investigating the stains down their jumper

I totally disagree with no 1-3

1,2,3 and 4 are assumptions or, just possibly, experiences exclusive to Mumsnet.

Teachers get half a day out of the classroom per week to prepare lessons etc. So your child may get a teaching assistant for 10% of their time in school. If the teacher is young and newly qualified, she/ he will be absent from the class for a whole day every week.

Really? School has taught my 2 to read. I've done reading with them, but school has given them the excellent foundation in phonics that underlies their approach.

If I were to add to your list, though, I would say:

1. Religious schools can be very religious indeed - do not be surprised if your 4 year old comes home and gives you a detailed description of the Crucifixion and informs you about the liturgical colours for different seasons.

1. You would be amazed how much stuff children in school get given these days: chocolate, skipping ropes, hats, Sports Relief socks....

Stickers may mean what they say or they may mean the opposite. For instance, if your child regularly comes home with a sticker for eating all their lunch, this may mean they are a good eater, or that they are such a bad one that the slightest consumption of a fraction of school dinner is rewarded with a sticker.

I supported my child by listening to her read and learning the phonics scheme the school use so I could help her sound out the words The school taught her phonics and provide a myriad of ways for her to read information and express herself through writing. I'd say that the school have done the lions share of the work and have enthused her to learn. They have also helped her in areas she finds more difficult and taken the time to talk to me about what they are doing and how I can support this at home.
Our school playground is a very friendly place at collection time, not all stereotypes are true.

(Nothing is ever a universal experience, so these are only based on what i have witnessed and seen friends experience. We send our children to a range of schools, including good, outstanding, satisfactory, "failing", infant, junior and primary)

Be prepared for the degree of parental involvement required. Making costumes at the drop of a hat, baking cakes for a cake sale etc. Education is much more of a partnership between parents and school than it was when I was there. That said, the flip side is that you are allowed to ask to speak to your child's teacher and voice your concerns - they will consider this the norm.

If, as a parent, you approach your child's school in a sneering, dismissive, negative way assuming it will be crap, your attitude will probably rub off on your children. Teachers ( who a only human) will feel undermined and defensive and you will probably end up at loggerheads. They creating a sel fulfilling prophesy. And your child will probably turn into a brat.

I totally disagree with 1-4 as well. School has taught my DC to read. I have helped them practice and learn to enjoy reading.

Here's another one: All primary schools are different so when people spout stupid generalisations like "YOU (the parent) will teach your child to read." is probably won't be true for your school.

Parents evenings are generally rushed affairs, and you are lucky to leave with a genuine understanding of how your child is doing/ how they can be supported at home. You (at least I) also feel very sorry for the teachers at these things as its a marathon for them.

Can't agree with number one at all. I do loads of reading at home with DS, but I completely credit school with 'teaching' him how to read.

Your dd will lose their jumper and one glove once a week. Your ds will lose their jumper, coat, trousers and either one sock or one shoe on a nearly daily basis. Naming things just makes it easier for YOU to find in lost property.

1. Get to understand the national curriculum levels because these will be quoted at you for years to come.

and

1. "Average" does not actually mean " average" when it comes to talking about the national curriculum levels. it means in the top 80%

1-4 are not true at our primary, although as parents we do get books to read daily with our children . We also find the staff v good at alerting us to issues early, not waiting until parents meeting.

In our school for the non-contact time when the class teacher is out doing prep (1/2 to 1 day a week depending on experience and other responsibilities) then the children are provided with another teacher. It is the same one each week so they get to know them very well.

I was surprised by how hungry children are after school.

Also, the number of anxiety issues that toilets can provoke over the years, whether it's getting there in time, fear of hand dryers, concerns about smells/flushing/wet floors or later in juniors it being the place where being picked on may happen .

Actually I recognise some of the above points. Sadly. And I definitely don't have a negative view of schools. I know this doesn't happen at all schools because my older children went to a different primary and they definitely did all the teaching and were all round excellent. In spite of having a much wider range of abilities and a wider socio-economic mix.