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Original poster

DD is all upset and Dh and I disagree on how to handle it with her/the school.

33 replies

Portofino · 27/03/2012 21:51

Dd is Yr2 Primary - aged 8. She loves school and is doing really well - near the top of the class according to her teacher. School is quite strict here - homework and lots of red pen but she progresses and we have had few issues.

Dd had a piece of paper with her times table tests on. I signed it and put in back in her bag as per instructions. It has gone missing. This is 3 weeks worth of work and teacher says if she cannot produce it, then she gets 0/30. This means her score for the end of term report drops her mark by about 25%. But is still 70%. I saw the piece of paper - they were all correct.

Dd is now upset and worried that she got low marks and they might keep her back a year. This is never going to happen - she is doing really well. I have reassurred her to that effect. My attitude has been - it is a bit harsh - but she has to live in this system and the lesson is to look after her work/books/stuff as it will only get tougher. And that I am happy as I know she got all her tables right so whatever it says in her report doesn't really matter in this instance....

DH on the other hand is FURIOUS - it is extremely unfair - and we should be marching down the school and making a big fuss. It is a piece of paper - easily lost by an 8 yo, so I agree on one level....but on the other....this is the way it works here, and dd needs to learn that.....though it won't have any serious consequences....

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Original poster
Portofino · 27/03/2012 21:51

Sorry - dd is in school in Belgium - key bit if info...

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Coconutty · 27/03/2012 21:54

This reply has been deleted

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lisaro · 27/03/2012 21:56

I'm with you,

gomez · 27/03/2012 21:58

I'm with you. No real consequence. She won't lose another one.

Mama1980 · 27/03/2012 21:58

I'm with you I think. I think the systems harsh but if she is going there then she has to learn to work within that system

simpson · 27/03/2012 22:07

Can you not ask for another one and make her do it all over again??

Which will be punishment in itself to redo work for a second time so that hopefully she will take care of it next time (and work in the future).

scrappydappydoo · 27/03/2012 22:10

I have to agree with you - presuming the teacher would treat any other pupil the same- its harsh but fair. Part of school is learning skills like this. But I would be resisting the urge to storm down there.

Francagoestohollywood · 27/03/2012 22:12

I am with you. Teacher however needs to be informed that dd is very upset for having lost the test.

treas · 27/03/2012 22:13

Presumably your dd lost the paper and not the teacher as happened with my own dd

scummymummy · 27/03/2012 22:20

I agree with you. Partly because I think you need to give her the message that getting things wrong sometimes and making mistakes and taking the consequences is no big deal in the general scheme of things.

Original poster
Portofino · 27/03/2012 22:23

Teacher is very switched on - I think she will know if dd is upset. She can't do it again as it was a out loud "2 x 5 equals" kind of test, where they write the answers down.

It does my head in a bit. Dd worships her teacher. I DON'T agree with some aspects of the education system here, but we live here so have no choice. And Belgium often comes out top/near top in league tables. Overall I am happy with it.

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MadameChinLegs · 27/03/2012 22:24

I'm all for being made to be responsible for your own possessions and she should face up to the consequences of loosing the work however I think it is wholly unreasonable for the school to expect an 8 year old to keep track of one piece of paper for three weeks! Why aren't they given shorter chunks on a weekly basis? It's so bizarre. A week max is long enough to have to remember a sheet of paper. a rule I employ with my own in-tray at work, oops

Original poster
Portofino · 27/03/2012 22:28

But don't want my 8 yo sobbing her heart out over her school report. It should be years before we have to stress about these things....

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Original poster
Portofino · 27/03/2012 22:29

Madame - I am totally with you on that.

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exoticfruits · 27/03/2012 22:30

I'm not sure why the teacher didn't have the marks in a book.
I would take your attitude-save your battles for the important things.

HolyLentenPromiseBatman · 27/03/2012 22:30

Where did she lose the paper? Do you have any idea where it is? It must be either at home or at school mustn't it?

bran · 27/03/2012 22:32

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bohica · 27/03/2012 22:35

I'm with you but I also think it is completly unreasonable to expect an 8y old to look after 1 piece of paper for 3 weeks!

Original poster
Portofino · 27/03/2012 22:38

It is not at home. I checked. I signed it as per instructions and put it in her Journal de Classe. God knows where it went....I am guessing searching the classroom is "interdit". There is no wandering into classrooms in Belgian schools...

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Original poster
Portofino · 27/03/2012 22:39

She didn't have it for 3 weeks. Just overnight. It came home for signing - then vanished.

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learnandsay · 27/03/2012 22:44

I think the teacher should have some idea whether or not the child is capable of doing all the homework correctly or not. If the child is capable and the homework genuinely got lost then allowances should be made. I think if the child is not capable and the homework got lost, then there is a genuine issue.

Elibean · 27/03/2012 22:45

Is there something between your and dh's points of view? As in, not marching down to the school, but having a quiet word with the teacher to let her know dd is really upset, and may need some reassurance about marks not mattering in the normal way this time, or something??

I think a system is a system, and fair enough, but your dd is 8 - IME 8 year olds can take things to heart and lose confidence over the weirdest things! Wouldn't hurt for her to feel really supported through things being as they are, iyswim...

Original poster
Portofino · 27/03/2012 23:17

I support dd 100%. I know she is a good student (if that is the right word fir an 8yo) Her teacher had nothing but praise for her at parent's evening.

Dd is bright - but can be very scatty. Scatty not good in Belgian school. It will do her no favours to say it is OK. I have praised her work, told her she will not get kept back, but she must take more care of her stuff....

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madwomanintheattic · 27/03/2012 23:23
Grin Ds lost his entire bag, homework folder, and coat in the space of two days. (including the letter to book pizza lunches for the entire year). His teacher is entirely adamant that not getting pizza when all of his friends are eating it for the entire year will learn him a lesson.

It won't. It will demoralise him and remind him how crap he is for the entire ten months. And he will still lose stuff.

Scatty is not good in Canada, either.

exoticfruits · 28/03/2012 08:13

A pity that we allow scatty in UK! They just get a name for it and get away with things as in 'well Max is always scatty'! Maybe he wouldn't be so scatty with a tough line!