DD is all upset and Dh and I disagree on how to handle it with her/the school.

[Portofino]

Dd is Yr2 Primary - aged 8. She loves school and is doing really well - near the top of the class according to her teacher. School is quite strict here - homework and lots of red pen but she progresses and we have had few issues.

Dd had a piece of paper with her times table tests on. I signed it and put in back in her bag as per instructions. It has gone missing. This is 3 weeks worth of work and teacher says if she cannot produce it, then she gets 0/30. This means her score for the end of term report drops her mark by about 25%. But is still 70%. I saw the piece of paper - they were all correct.

Dd is now upset and worried that she got low marks and they might keep her back a year. This is never going to happen - she is doing really well. I have reassurred her to that effect. My attitude has been - it is a bit harsh - but she has to live in this system and the lesson is to look after her work/books/stuff as it will only get tougher. And that I am happy as I know she got all her tables right so whatever it says in her report doesn't really matter in this instance....

DH on the other hand is FURIOUS - it is extremely unfair - and we should be marching down the school and making a big fuss. It is a piece of paper - easily lost by an 8 yo, so I agree on one level....but on the other....this is the way it works here, and dd needs to learn that.....though it won't have any serious consequences....

"Maybe he wouldn't be so scatty with a tough line!"

No, he'd probably be sobbing on a regular basis like my DS2 who seems incapable of keeping track of stuff

In reply to the OP, I would probably speak to the teacher, say that the paper was in her book, that it must have gone missing at school and that they were all correct and I would leave it at that.

I am with DH it is a ridiculous expectation and not fair...why haven't the school got a copy anyway???

I don't agree with the teacher but I really don't think that parents help their DCs by micromanaging everything. This is DDs problem,leave it to her to sort out. I only step in if it is a big problem and they have already had a go themselves.

I am pretty sure the teacher knows your dd's abilities and that she usually is pretty reliable. There will be other tests in the next 2 months I suppose where your dd will do well, I am sure.
Quite normal here in Italy for children to bring home tests, homeworks, books etc that need to be taken back to school. Teachers usually expect the average 8 yrs old not to loose/forget things, but it is not the end of the world if a child looses one!
I am sure this accident hasn't changed the teacher's opinion on your dd's skills!

The issue doesn't seem to be the missing piece of paper per se, nor whether or not your dd knows her tables (she clearly does), but more how this will be reported on an end of term report.

Surely this is the issue to focus on. At best the teacher will have already recorded the marks in her mark book, and use those to make an assessment for her year end report. At worst the teacher will have to say that the sheet has gone awol, and make an assessment on the basis of the rest of the work that your dd has done. It would be inaccurate to record the result as 0/30 without at least mentioning that the exam was incomplete.

I cannot believe that there is a single European country which would hold a child back for a year in circumstances such as this, so everyone is getting upset over something that will never happen. At least make Dh wait until the report comes out before making a scene, as by making a scene he would be assuming that the teacher is unable to make a sensible assessment of your dd's progress and attainment. I'm sure that the teacher would prefer to have the test sheet back as it document the basis for her assessment, but if she has already marked it, then I would put money on her having recorded the mark somewhere.

No - she won't get held back. She would need to be struggling/failing in several subjects for that to happen - and that is not the case.

I think all that will happen is that she will get a lower mark for one subject than she should have done. And will hopefully learn that she needs to be a bit more careful with her things....

Dd does get stressed about it though. She is normally rewarded for a good school report - though I continually tell her it is effort that is rewarded - not high marks....So she might be worried we would be cross and she won't get a present this time.....

So really this isn't about the teacher at all. It is about whether you reward her or not. She shouldn't be sobbing over her school report at this stage, but then the teacher cannot possibly realise that the report is taking on such great import at home.

I think that it is time for you to step away from "rewarding" the report. Find another time to reward her efforts, not linked to the school report. Otherwise you are in danger of making your dd focus on the wrong things. Not an issue when she is actually doing well, but you will need to have strategies for when things don't go as well later on.