31/8 Birthday - best to be youngest or oldest in the year?

[doradoo]

Just wondering whether we should put DS1 into a year when he will be the youngest or whether it's better to be the oldest child in a year?

Well, good for you.

I suppose that's what you wanted to hear

Good that you have an outcome you are happy with, OP. My DS is the youngest, but one of the biggest. If he had been youngest and smallest I would have made different decisions. DD is oldest and tallest - a whole different set of pros ans cons - it's never easy

I think DS will also be oldest and biggest (90th centile for height and September b'day). DC2 will be an August birthday. If we stay overseas I am inclined to start him/her a year later, but if we were back in the UK, I wouldnt go private just for that factor IYSWIM.

My DD born 30 Aug didn?t have much problems entering a top grammar school ranked in the top 20?s out of 700-ish as one of the very youngest but one of the tallest of her cohort. Nobody suspected she was so young because of her height and she?s just graduated from a RG university (BSc Hons) last June aged still under 21. Although a bit lazy at times - she?s more interested in her girlie hobbies - she?s managed to complete her studies and Grade 8 piano and have been working in the last 6 months.

both my dds are sept birthdays so can't comment on aug birthdays but even with a choice i wold not have held them back a year - I just think it complicates things all the way in the future? Besides my children were MORE than ready for school by the xmas after they turned 4 - your child may well grow up very quickly once they hit 3.5 years and be ready for something more full time. there are 3 children in dd1 Y1 class all born on 31/8 so you are highly unlikely to be the only one. This year though in reception, a child started for a few months and then delayed til this sept - maybe try this - he at least completed a term to try it?

My dd was born on the 7th September, and so was the oldest (and also by far the tallest) in her class. She was actually very ready for school long before she went (it's an environment she really enjoys). My ds has an early May birthday and probably would have found school easier if he had started later.

We moved to Canada when they were in grade 3 and 5, and as they have a January cut off ds effectively moved down half a year and dd moved up half a year. dd doesn't much like being among the youngest in her class but is still doing very well academically and socially (and is still by far the tallest). For ds it's been great I think, as he has taken a little longer to grow up and is dyslexic too.

I think it probably matters a great deal when they start off at school, and then rather less as they progress.

Can I also add that development wise that a Year 8 with a September birthday is a whole different boy to one with a summer birthday IYKWIM.

answering the op - if you have the choice, are they ready academically? are they ready socially? try to have them with the age group they'll fit in best for those 2 considerations. If I had complete choice, I'd want them better than average for both those areas, but not at the extremes.

And being the youngest as your classmates go through puberty isn't much fun, too.

Thanks for saying the last bit token. DS1 (12 and summer birthday) is experiencing the difference as we speak.

"Just some feedback - we ha a trial day in year 3, which he enjoyed. However the school's initial feedback was that they thought he'd be better suited to go into year 3 in Sept not year 4 - and that's where they currently have space too (there's a waiting list for year 4) - so just waiting on our application and a chat with the Head of Year but it looks like we'll go with him being the oldest in the year - prob suits his alpha male tendancies a bit better too."

This is the kind of conversation that would be routine in England if children had a choice. We were lucky enough to be able to have it about my son and decided to opt for the later year group. A year later the rules were changed and suddenly the poor teachers had no option but to say "he'll be fine" to parents of children who would have benefitted from choice.

it's very sad.

"Ah. This is always a problem. You will always get, here on MN "Well, I was August born and got a 1:1 from Oxford and am currently the Lucasian Fellow of Mathematics at Oxford, therefore the concept that starting and continuing school a good 1/4 of my life younger than many of my contemporaries is utter bollox and must be disregarded".

True Litten, except that one probably wouldn't get to be a maths professor ... Your hypothetical example should cite some other subject in which one can excel in complete innocence of statistical reasoning ....(English literature?)

"I am always surprised about how many allegedly clever people here on MN do not appear to understand Y8 statistics."

Same here but remember that if we are claiming to understand statistics then the first thing we have to say is that the statistics alone can only be a small part of the answer for any individual child. My son desperately needed to defer (and did, and it transformed his life-chances so thank-you Bradford LEA) but that doesn't mean other summer-born children would benefit as much from deferment.

Absolutely, re statistics. They are just a part of it but they do demonstrate a trend- the tendency for earlier born DC to achieve more highly academically, but this seems to be ignored in our one-size-fits-all state ed system.

I so wish DS2 had had the opportunity. He's mid May but his academic and social level is more or less precisely a year behind average. If he were in Y5 now not eyeballing Big School in Sept he'd be cruising along just fine but as it is, it's all one big struggle for him.