31/8 Birthday - best to be youngest or oldest in the year?

[doradoo]

Just wondering whether we should put DS1 into a year when he will be the youngest or whether it's better to be the oldest child in a year?

Just some feedback - we ha a trial day in year 3, which he enjoyed. However the school's initial feedback was that they thought he'd be better suited to go into year 3 in Sept not year 4 - and that's where they currently have space too (there's a waiting list for year 4) - so just waiting on our application and a chat with the Head of Year but it looks like we'll go with him being the oldest in the year - prob suits his alpha male tendancies a bit better too.

If you do decide to keep your ds back a year, do be aware of the regulations concerning entrance exams to secondary schools. In the UK, where state grammar schools exist they will not let your dc sit the 11+ in the later year that you have placed him in, he'd have to sit a year earlier with his "official" age cohort and then attend with this cohort too. I'm not sure what independent schools would do. It might depend on the school, but any highly competitive schools (where they can fill the places many times over with very able children who are within their age cohort) may not be too keen on the idea. You would have to ask any that you were considering individually.

It sounds like that is a good option for him at the moment. The only thing I would say is be careful if you intend to return to UK as he need to go into the higher age group and he may not have covered all the curriculum.

Eldest every single time.

Something like 2/3 of Oxbridge entrants are born in the first 1/3 of the year. If a DC is the eldest, and are maybe not the cleverest or most mature they can bimble along in the middle of their class. If they're the youngest, that same child might always struggle to keep up.

I was aware of this with KS2 SATS. DS1 is late May. He got '2's for these tests, which was fine. However, his mate, Sept born, got 3s. 9 months later, my DS was getting 3s and the odd low 4 in everything, ie at the same age his mate was when he took the SATS.

I'm December born which was great- except I got shoved up to grammar a year early (and even there, I was the second youngest in the year!). I did OK but I am oh-so-aware of how much better I would have done with a year's more maturity.

If I gave birth at 5 to midnight on Aug 31st, I'd be bribing the midwife to record Sept 1st! and I'm only joking a bit.....

Yes, as LittenTree said, much better to be oldest in the year.

I've got one late August born, and two early Sept

Apparently being the oldest is the bestest, and being the youngest sucks

looks like your mind's been made up for you, anyway- but sure it's for the best!

...there is an enormous social advantage, too, in being the oldest in the class. In my dds' schools kids have been known to fib about it

eldest, definitely.

I say that having been nearly the youngest in my year. Academically, I haven't done badly (PhD level), but emotionally, I was so far behind. And who knows how well I would have done academically had I been born on my due date, and thus in the year below?

I'm so glad DS is a september birthday. bit sad DC2 will be a June birthday though.

DH was an August baby and was kept back a year so he was the oldest in the year below. I have asked him about whether he thinks MIL was right to do this and his answer was

"Yeah, because if I'd been in the year above I wouldn't have got in the first XV"

.........so I'm glad he's got his priorities straight

DD1 was born on 31/8, and has always been the youngest in her year. I don't think I even had the choice to hold her back a year either....

It took her a while to settle into school, and she is now in Yr2 - she's on the top table for literacy, with a reading age of 8yrs 10months (she's 6yrs, 7months), and she's attaining average results for literacy - as she is doing well in other areas, we are going to sign up to Kumon to bump up her literacy (but only if she enjoys it and wants to do it).

She has always been confident though, and I probably would worry more if I had a son, as I know that they can sometimes struggle more than girls.

Mind you, when she did first start school, I did worry about her progress - I did well at school, and couldn't get my head around my child not doing well. I had a bit of an epiphany, and realised as long as she was happy, and trying her hardest, that was all I could ask for.

If you have a choice, then I'd definitely go for him being the eldest. My dc3 was due around beginning of Sept. On 31st August, while she was still inside, there was an article on BBC website called something like "Is the 31st August really the worse day of the year to have your birthday?". The general consensus seemed to be that yes, it definitely was and purely because of being the youngest in the year. (I was very relieved when dc3 arrived on Sept 2nd.)

My d-i-l was born on 31\8 and went through school as the youngest.She ended with a first in English from York University.Dd was also August born and did well academically-good degree [2:1] from good uni.Not just the girls-my dss was born in late July and after doing an engineering degree is now a chartered accountant commanding a high salary.It isnt always a disadvantage to be Summer born.

Ah. This is always a problem. You will always get, here on MN "Well, I was August born and got a 1:1 from Oxford and am currently the Lucasian Fellow of Mathematics at Oxford, therefore the concept that starting and continuing school a good 1/4 of my life younger than many of my contemporaries is utter bollox and must be disregarded".

I am always surprised about how many allegedly clever people here on MN do not appear to understand Y8 statistics.

As a toddler my DD1 (17/08) was very academic for her age and was placed with an older class in private kindergarten/pre prep. Was great for her as with others that were already reading etc. She was also very tall for her age. She suffered with sports as she wasn't as coordinated to begin with. I feel on the whole that it was the best place for her at that time. She later went to state secondary school in her correct year and probably coasted a bit initially. Just a further point - as they get older certain ages become very desirable (16 for a part time job, 17 for driving lessons, 18 for clubbing) and if you are 'young' in your class you always seem to be waiting for your turn to do the things that your peers have spent most of the year enjoying!!

My brother is 31/8. I'd say he pretty much achieved his academic potential but it was a slog for him at times.

He hated being the smallest, especially at secondary school.

I'd say go down a year to be the oldest.. Unless a gap year at some point could work for you & the rest of your family??

Well, I was an end of August baby and yes did very well academically (although didn't really come into my own til 13). Socially though, was another matter entirely.

I would say oldest, definitely, every time.

Definitely oldest. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Generally being the oldest in the year is regarded as being better than being the youngest - but the subject is so subjective, as Littentree says - you will hear so many stories about the successes of the September/Oct kids, compared to the August ones, but maybe your DS will surprise you!!

Like lots of parents on here I have a DS2 born late August - he started full time school 2 weeks after he was 4, and I was worried - partly because I read so many threads on MN on the subject! He is doing brilliantly and I am so pleased we didn't hold him back a year, his reading and writing is on a par with the older boys and he was ready to start school when he did.

BUT - DS2 has a big brother, and I think he was therefore a bit more mature than some of the older boys because of this, he is also at a prep school with just 17 in his class, so is given quite a lot of attention.

Do I wish he'd gone to school a year later? No way! But each child is different so go with your gut instinct!

My dd is eleven now and at High School. She did struggle a bit at first in primary school, (B/day 20/08) but then so did most of the kids born in the second half of the year! By about yr 2/3 it starts to even out, and by 11 they are all just children with 7 years primary school experience behind them.

Its all much of a muchness in the end!

It depends on the DC. Generally the eldest- but a friends DD, born 1st Sept would have been much better as the youngest-she was very tall, very bright and very mature. She played with the ones in the year above and hated it when she was in left in year 6.

I agree Litten, this is probably the most anecdata-prone subject on MN, against some stiff competition. The difference has definitely not not disappeared by age 11 Miss Keith, it has reduced, but it is still easily measurable at KS2 and indeed GCSE level.

I come from a family full of "young" children with more than satisfactory academic results, but I would never advise anyone to let their child be the youngest in the year if they have the choice, especially not for a boy. The only advantage is financial.

It was no fun for DS (late June birthday) when his best mates in First School had early September birthdays.

lemon- Q: "Its all much of a muchness in the end!"

Well, actually, it isn't, as the Oxbridge entrant profile suggests!

And yes, dilys- indeed.

at the end of the day though, it's not as if you have a choice really, is it?

If you go to a state school, and are born on the 31/8, then you are going to be the youngest in the year. You can't really plan when you are going to be born either (and having had problems with multiple miscarriages, I'm just glad to have my babies here)......

I know statistically you fare better if you aren't born in the summer, and we all want our children to do well, but I refuse to make an issue out of it for my DD - I try to be positive about it, as we can't do anything about it!

There are also statistics and figures out there that suggest that people born in the winter months are more prone to depression and anxiety - so, should we all stop having our babies during those months too?

I am playing devils advocate here.......

Littentree & Dilys - yes, you may have a point. Statistics show blah blah blah... but since when did MN become a place to trot out statistics?

Statistically the average human being has one testicle and one mammory gland each.... doesn't mean its true though does it?

The OP asked for opinions. If she had wanted statistics she could simply ask the school which was best for her dc, no?

In my case I believe that my dd has gained as much from her 7 years experience at primary school as her classmates did from their 7 years. I do not believe that her being younger will hinder her in life at all. not statistically proven but my own opinion of my own circumstances.