Lying about a child's age to get into a hothouse school

[avidskier]

There is a child in my DC's highly selective, private school who is over a head taller than the rest but is supposedly in the correct year for its age. The child looks much older than everyone else (in terms of maturity in the face) and also had two fully grown front teeth at least a year before anyone else had even lost the front two.

I suspect that the parents have lied about the child's age in order to pass the entrance exams.

The child was born abroad in a country where it is easy to obtain forged birth certificates. The child's caretaker also seems to be confused as to the child's age when asked (and thought that the child was a year older than what the school has been told!). The child is one of those doesn't-do-playdates-as-it-does-extra-English&Maths-every-waking-minute.

It annoys me for all sorts of reasons.. I don't think parents that would make a child lie about its age for its entire school life should be allowed to be at that school. I mean REALLY?? Are people really willing to go that far to get their kid into the school of their choice?

As any child would,it enjoys its physical superiority. It likes to use its classmates to play leapfrogging (this child weighs about three times as much as DC and it caused a back injury!). The school has tried to stop this but is struggling to contain it.

I have no real proof of the age so cannot complain to the school.

Any ideas?

Nice one baby giraffe re everyone lying

Does anyone actually admit they send their child to a hothouse school? I smell mackerel here.

I detect racism, intolerance of anything different, envy, frankly I would hate to have you as on of the mummies/friends in my DD's school.
Oh, and also you should learn to mind your own business.

At my father's secondary school they have some students who are very likely not the age they claim, just from some things they have revealed casually. The school's concerns have been passed on to the LEA/immigration, who in all likelihood will have finished their schooling by the time any official takes any action - which is presumably the intent. But the school is also pragmatic and since these pupils are causing no problems and are keen to get an education, the school's job is to educate and give them the same opportunities just like anyone else.

Since OPs' school is a independent 'hothouse' maybe the school are well aware of the child's age, IF indeed they are older (am an aunt to a leggy blond 6 yr old niece who to the concern of my sil/bro gets mistaken for about 12, and has even been wolf-whistled) and they have CHOSEN to place the child in that particular year group, as independents have that flexibility - it's what the parents are paying for after all!

However, I have to agree with everyone else. It is none of your business if the child is the age they say they are or not.

IME schools have always asked for a copy of the birth certificate. My experience covers only 5 schools and 2 nurseries, however.

Oh, sorry, just read the post properly. You think the birth certificate may have been forged.

Well, so it may. You can't prove it, so don't dwell on it. If there is bullying, deal with it as you would for any bullying. Otherwise, just get on with your own life.

So the only proof you have for this is the child's height, weight and teeth? Oh of course not forgetting the fact that "it" comes from a country where you can get a forged birth certificate .

You could be describing my cousin's child, everything you've said seems to be exactly right. Except that in that case, "it" ( again) does not go to a private school. I visited the baby as a newborn in hospital though, so rest assured that some children just are much bigger than average. They're not out to steal other children's school places.

There is nothing I can say that hasn't already been said about this and my opinion does not differ from those have have already replied.
This reminds me of a neighbour of mine who has a big for his age boy, when he started reception she got complaints from other parents about her son, not due to anything that had happened mind, the complaints were that he was too big and their girls were only small.
I couldn't believe it when it happened even though I heard it all with my own ears and while I would love to think this horrible post is a wind up from my own experiences I know that it could well be 'true'
My ds is big for his age, the reception teacher who has seen his coming and going from school dropping of dd since he was 18 months expressed her surprise last summer that his name wasn't on her class list for last September. I hope when he starts school this coming September he isn't subject to things like this. He has already had his problems for looking bigger then his years with people expecting him to have the maturity to match his size, he doesn't, he has just turned 4, is very immature and has the speech of a 2 year old old, things are tough enough for him without having to deal with this kind of prejudice.

I agree none of your business but just thought I'd share this

I teach in a primary school we have a lovely family who came here as refugees,in the country they come from its not uncommon for families from the poorer areas to not know dates when children are born, births not registered. When they come to this country and are allowed to stay an "educated" guess is made about ages. This particular family's eldest son was born in their home country no documentation, he is now in year 7 having left my school last Sept. I recently saw him whilst out shopping he was supporting a full beard when I commented on it he told me he always shaved before school and had done for a long time yet he is still in year 7 and his age is given as 11.

How is leapfrogging bullying?

My daughter is five. She has an early September birthday and is in Reception, so pretty much the oldest in her year. She could easily pass as a tallish three year old - she's just tiny and slight and has wispy baby hair still. One of her best friends is about 8 months younger than her, looks like a six or seven year old and already has wobbly teeth. Children just mature physically at different rates.

If the child you are talking about really is older, then that's the parents' and the child's problem, not yours. But really, there are all kinds of different variants in how children develop and grow and you are being incredibly rude even to bother yourself about this. It is simply none of your business. As for the games of leapfrog, that's up to the school to sort out if it is really causing a problem. It doesn't sound like bullying to me, just natural childish exuberance allowed to get out of hand. Why are people talking about bullying? If your school cannot ask a child to desist from doing something that is hurting other children then you have a far larger problem than a kid who's not in his/her own school year. The school sounds a bit ineffectual and it's this that you should take up not the possible age of someone else's child.

My SUmmer born DD had her front teeth in place WAY before her older classmates. She's not taller but her dental maturity is advanced and you sound weird OP.

A few years back we had a student from Sudan at the school I teach at that looked remarkably tall for an 11 year old girl. She had an adult body and displayed a motherly attitude to all the other children. After being with us for a few weeks we could not believe she was only 11 and over a period of a couple of weeks she admitted she was 12,then13,14 and finally 17 years old. Her family were contacted and they admitted she was 17 and had come to the country on a dead child's papers. She was integrated in to her correct year group. So strange things happen! But there are so many children that fall out of the norms it would very dangerous to make assumptions about children. We were very diplomatic about this and at no time did the other children know the real age of the child and the other parents were certainly not involved!

Oh sorry, I just realized I got the girl's age wrong. she was thought to be 9, but was 15. She left school at 17. This happened about 6 years ago. My memory is getting fuzzy.

Bloody
Unusual-
Lots of
Little
Schoolkids'
Height
Is
Tall

:)

Oh, for god's sake. What a conclusion to jump to! There is a boy is DS2's year at school (Year 6 - age 10/11) who is taller than me (I am 5ft 6in) and wears size 9 shoes (he came bowling with DS2 which is why I know). He doesn't look like he just turned 11, but he most definitely is that age.

The difference between him and other boys in the same year is that he'll probably be at his full height & shoe size by age 12 and then stop growing whilst his peers catch up & possibly overtake him. Children mature at different rates. Get over it.

Private schools can accept DCs into any age group. I know at my DC's prep there were DCs out of their own age group. The only thing these children could not do was take scholarships with their form that had to be done as per year of birth.

I agree with goinggetstough - private schools accept DCs from abroad frequently putting them into the year below so that their english can catch up - but they end up staying in that year throughout their school career.

Alternatively he might just be tall & stocky. My DD looks like something out of Snow White and the seven dwarves when she is with kids exactly her own age (5) - she is the size of a decent sized 7 year old. She is losing her teeth early - it isn't her fault fgs - but Dad is v tall, and I had the same problem but stopped growing at 12 .......

The issue is not him taking account of other children's size in choosing what he does ..... other than that, as long as he is behaving and working hard in class I really don't get how it affects your DC ..... or are you jealous because he is ahead of your DC?

You use phrases like " It likes to use its classmates to play". It??? Really? Op you sound utterly charming

My son is the youngest in his class and the tallest by a mile. He does not enjoy his "physical superiority". You however clearly enjoy yours.

Have a

my very first . 'It' indeed.

Everything 'I'dratherbemuckingout said.

My son is a deferred January boy (Scotland) and is the smallest in his class by 6 inches. That's the way it goes - we are all different!
Forged birth cert - WTF!
Get a grip op!

My younger DD has always been tallest or second tallest in her class by a country mile - she hit 100cm at just turned two and always, always gets taken for older than her age because of it (she is also very verbally mature so speaks like a much older child) She and her older sister had both lost all their front teeth well before age 7 - DD1 is now 11 and has got all her molars, premolars and canines over with. She is also very tall and well developed - but is still 11.

As for the use of 'it' - words fail.

I think the use of 'it' is to disguise the child's sex i.e. preserve its anonymity.