Feeling very low - Will my little girl ever be able to read?

[KMRRmum]

My daughter is in her first year at school (4 not 5 until May)and she is making no progress in her letter sounds and reading. Those that she knows today she will have forgotten tomorrow. I was suprised at this as she talked very early and is very articulate with great vocabulary.I spoke to her teacher several weeks ago but she didn't know if she had a problem or she just couldn't be bothered! I asked her if there was anything i should be doing but she just said keep doing her sounds. My daughter is quite feisty and the teacher says that she is disengaged in class, sometimes challenges her, fidgets with things and she doesnt put her hand up! I just feel that everything she does is wrong .

I have come away feeling so upset. I know its stupid but i have cried every night since finding this out and my mood has become very low. Ifeel that I have failed my daughter in some way! I also feel very defensive now of her when I am at school.

Could anyone recommend some things for me to do so that I can help my daughter. Does she have some sort of problem that I'm not aware of? I just feel she has been written off at the age of 4!

Hi,

I am with all those who say its too early to start thinking that your dd has a learning problem or that you have failed her. I was in your shoes this time last year. Summer born boy in my case. He just did not get phonics and only knew a handful of high frequency words at the end of reception. He could just about write his name but nothing else. He scored 3 for writing, and mostly 4s and 5s in the rest of the eyfs profile at the end of reception. I was so worried about him yet deep down I felt that he was just too young (he is an immature boy for his age anyway). Year 1 has seen a massive transformation in him we have gone from reading stage 1 ort to stage 4 and I dont think it will be long before we move up a level again as he is finding these easy now. I think it was all down too the fact that year 1 is much more about sitting and being taught rather than learning through play which suits him much better. He is still behind where he should be but is gaining ground and is no longer in the bottom group in his class. He is also much more receptive to doing extra at home as he can see that its helping him.

Sarah

Hi, probably not relevant, but my DD (now 6) had this issue.
We found out her left eye was not focussing, she now has glasses for close work and it has made all the difference.
Having said that, your wee one is still v v young!
Don't panic there is plenty of time.

My DD went backwards and forwards (for 2 years) until we came overseas and I decided we had to crack it for my sanity as much as hers. We used Read Write inc flashcards and books which were great. How about you familiarise yourself with them, and do them together over the easter holidays - which would give you enough time to have it as a game / special time together. I made a sticker chart with her, and every 10 sessions (ie books read) she put her hand in the bag for a little treat.

She got engaged by those books, and Julia Donaldson's Songbirds - whereas other books seemed to turn her right off. We also had a deal that if she read one of her picture books to me, I would read 2 to her = an extra bedtime story. I also filled in words if she didn't get them to keep the flow going and stop frustration. But Read Write books she had to read herself or no sticker. The best bit about that series is that the child practices reading the words in the story, before starting the story, so it gets more of a flow.

I always thought I was a bit pushy (we are overseas so english has to be done at home) - but I have UK friends with children who were behind and they listen to them read every night and support them with extra practice. The children are flying and their confidence and ability to sit still and concentrate is fantastic. They have gone from bottom to average / above average. Once you are in a routine, I don't think it does the children any harm, but getting in the routine can be difficult at first. Their kids really enjoy it.

I would add that my DD thought that reading was something you should be able to do - explaining to her that serious amounts of practice are required did get a lightbulb to go on. She thought if she couldn't read all books (including mine!), then she couldn't read, and therefore there was no point in trying. She was like your DD in being very articulate from a very young age.

You could try
www.prometheantrust.org/bna1.htm

It is aimed at 4- 5 year old reception children and is ten minutes a day.

Other wise I'd keep a close eye and have frequent conversations with her teacher - to see if she is making progress and if they think there are ground for concern.

I wouldn't worry at this age at all - dd1 was exactly the same, to the point where we were wondering about dyslexia at age 6 as she is clearly a bright, articulate girl. She's now 7, not far off 8 and I would say that it's only in the past year that it's really clicked and she's gone from being one of the poorest readers in the class to one of the best in that time. She thinks nothing of reading chapter books now. I believe that this is fairly common and why it's advisable to wait until age 7 or so to test for learning disabilities.

There was no point trying to teach her before she started school, I could no more have taught her to read at 3/4 than I could have taught her to drive a car or to do advanced calculus.

Slight thread highjack, but with the new phonics test in year 1, I would suggest you concentrate on that rather than any learning by sight methods. I also think she's probably a bit young to be too worried, but keep an eye on things, talk to the teacher.

I'd always be trying to support the way school do things rather than introduce your own methods which could get very confusing.. my mum was a primary school teacher who said trying to fix bad habits taught by parents was an absolute nightmare....

(grubbalo - you'll probably find parents saying that trying to fix bad habits taught by teachers is an absolute nightmare, too! ).

Most four year olds don't read. DO not be fooled by the overly academicpopulation of Mumsnet. It is entirely normal for a 4 yearold to be bored with learning sounds and fidgety.

mine had hardly made any progress at all even at the beginning of y2 (she was 6) . It suddenly clicked then (in the first time y2) and now - she's in the second term of y2 - she is reading chapter books on her own!

I know it is worrying - I got similarly crap messages from the school -but it's gone ok with my dd and I have heard similar experiences from other people. 4 is very young to be able to read.

Way too young to start panicking. Not too young to play games - like listening games (simon says, musical statues etc) , spotting letters when you go out etc.
I also wouldn't read too much into the teachers comments. She may think that your DD doesn't seem bothered because she believes her to have the ability, but sees no need to apply it. As you have said, your DD is articulate with a good vocabulary - with a parent who is keen to invest time and effort into their child.
Every class has its fidgets and drifters in reception. Personality, age etc can make a difference, but in a year's time, they will be considerably less in number. Attention span will have increased and therefore learning and practise time will be increased within school.
I must admit, I'm in the 'we start them too early in formal education' brigade, but its the system we have. Support them in any way that the school suggests, but remember, they are children who need to play and explore to learn, not sit and learn by rote.

The fact that a child is particularly bright and articulate makes it more likely that there is an issue, not less. It's the gap between their obvious quick cognitive ability and the difficulty in learning to read that tells you more work is required.

You don't want to turn a child off reading, but make sure the teaching they get at school is good (some places expect children to learn by osmosis or by the hard graft of their middle-class mothers), and then try to reinforce all the basic phonics- it can be fun!

Actually that isn't true, I have just been looking at dyslexia websites because I was looking for something about how my two were screened for dyslexic tendencies (it was a very strange test and nothing to do with reading but it was a while ago and I can't remember the details) and slow to talk clearly and poor vocab are both flags for possible dyslexia

read to her everyday and stop worrying

4 is still so very young for this to be an issue- particularly as your DD is a summer born child (if I remember correctly) but there is pressure in school to keep up with peers so I understand how you feel. Your DD sounds very like mine- similar age (though mine is an October birthday so technically in the year below) and temperament! My wee one has known basic phonics since she was two and despite being similarly articulate has only just "clicked" with reading in the last few months. What worked for us was writing a very short, very simple book all about her. (I am DD. I am 4. I can run. I can jump. I can hop.) We played games with the same words and made sure that we did it every day and two months later she's decoding everything in sight. With us it seems that "sight words" made much more sense to DD than phonics and that she just lacked the confidence to try. Sorry for the long post- I just hope that this might work for you too!

I wouldn't worry over much about the let the letters but "feisty" and "disengage" are not good. "Challenge" means answers back.

Terrible typos. On phone.

I was in your situation a year ago. My DD (July birthday), didn't click with letters and sounds, found writing difficult, poor letter formation, poor concentration and fidgety. The teacher informed me that she was immature. However, she is articulate and confident. Last October, in year 1 she was diagnosed with dyseidetic dyslexia. I'm not saying that your DD has dyslexia, but keep an eye on it. Keep learning fun, we made letter sounds in play dough, spaghetti letters etc. Please ignore what other parents say about their child and avoid comparison as much is exaggerated (I know from experience!). Just keep it fun for now and keep an eye on her development.

Is there anyone in your or DH/DP family who struggled with reading and spelling? I would ask because even if it's someone close you may not know.

I didn't find out that a teacher had told my mum DB was ' word blind' until my own DS was way behind his peers at school. Also it might be worth getting DD eyes checked to rule that out.

As others have said 4 is very young and the chances are everything will be fine.

I know you are upset but as her mother do you think your daughter has a problem?
Toe by Toe is good but I would try Bear Necessities if you decide you need to do something at home

OP, your daughter sounds like a normal 4 yo to me. My 6 yo DSD was not at all interested in reading at age 4-5 in P1. She would actually take our fingers off the page when we pointed to the words in her books, and if we tried to work with the cut out words her teachers sent home, she would push them away from her and cry. She made no progress with the ORT books her school sent home and was on Stage 1 for the entire year.

She is doing much better at age 5-6 in P2 - she's progressed from ORT Stage 1 to Stage 3 since August and is much more enthusiastic about trying to read. Last year, her books were the ones with pictures and just a couple of words, which really bored her. Her teacher decided in September to put her onto books with full sentences instead and she's really responded to that challenge.

We also started to make more effort to help her at home. One of the best tips I got from a friend who is a Y1 teacher was "Read with her, not to her." Sitting DSD up in bed with us while we read her bedtime story, rather than making her lie down, made a big difference - it got her in the habit of engaging with the book, even if she couldn't read it yet, rather than just passively listening.

Praise when she makes an effort to focus and concentrate on schoolwork seems to help. Calling it a day when she gets too frustrated has also been key - there is always tomorrow, but not if schoolwork is something she learns to dread. And little things like challenging her with non-book reading (finding favorite songs on the iPod or favorite shows on the TV guide) give her some incentive to keep trying. We've also started showing her a TV programme called Between the Lions, which is a puppet show about reading and phonics. That's been a hit with her too - it's on the PBS channel if you have Sky (not sure if it is on Virgin?). The content reinforces reading, but DSD just thinks it's fun.

Meant to say, we also got some ORT Floppy's Phonics books for home, which were recommended awhile back on the Mumsnet forums. That gave us some "learn to read" books to start working with, DSD was comfortable with approaching them since she had ORT in school, and the Floppy's Phonics are more interesting than a lot of the other ORT editions, especially at Stage 1!

Anyway, point being some kids just aren't ready to learn to read at age 4. Don't despair. As long as your DD thinks reading is fun, she will eventually want to learn how, so that she can have fun. Twelve months made a massive difference to my stepdaughter's attitude.

Fwiw, it seems really unnatural to me to learn reading by memorizing the sounds that a classroom teacher presents to about 20 children - I certainly didn't learn that way; I learned at home with my folks. And I also think age 4-5 is ridiculously early for school uniforms, homework, sitting still and raising your hand to be called on. But I am a foreigner dealing with culture shock still, so what do I know. :-p

Don't worry ... just work on sounds and read to her and have lots of books around. My DS, about to apply to Cambridge, couldn't read until he was 8 and discovered Harry Potter. It clicks eventually so long as the environment is right.

Bla! Like others I would be more upset by how your daughter is coming across in class than the fact that she hasn't picked up on the letter sounds yet. I would talk to the teacher to address this rather than the actual reading/sounds stuff. And yes, have you had her hearing and sight tested? Perhaps she doesn't get on great with her present teacher.

You could chat to her teacher and see what she suggests re strategies to engage her. If you, your daughter and the teacher can be a team in this then it is more positive for everyone.