Parent's Evening - This isn't going to end well...

[Eggrules]

Parent's Evening/ Consultation is coming up and is the same day for the entire school.

Some parent's of children in my DS's Reception Class are incredibly competitive. Instead of holding the meeting in the classroom, this event is being held in the hall. Had some excellent first timers Reception Parent's evening advice from PastSellByDate.

Totally fed up. No good can come of this. Does anyone have any parent's evening stories to cheer me up?

You soon get to know who to discuss parents evening outcomes with and who not to.

Its a weird thing and whatever your childs achievement is you are really proud of them as long as they are behaving and trying hard.

Some people are so keen to tell everyone their child is 'top of the class in every subject' and its not necessarily true. A parent of one of the children in my DS's class came straight out of the meeting and announced that to everyone, I had to bite my tongue as I had just been told that they were having to plan separately for my DS for literacy as they had never had a child on that reading/writing level in September in YR before so I was guessing what she was saying was a huge exaggeration - I just smiled to myself as I thought how silly she made herself look.

Talk it all with a pinch of salt and if anyone asks you just nod and say how pleased you are with your DC's progress :o)

I agree. Tell a trusted few.

When is the parent's evening Eggrules?? Do share juicy details from The Competitive Reception Parents, brightens my day

Don't worry I am sure that the school will ensure confidentality. My son's school does this and they make parents wait in the classroom and then come through to the hall. The system is that you turn up at a particular time. You are handed a folder with your kids work in. You look at the folder 5 minutes before talking to the teacher and then you are called through.

we were given a 15 minute slot for ds1. we were still there after an hour and a quarter as the teacher was so worried about him. she finished by telling us about her mother who had died the year before. and then burst into tears in the corridor as she was saying goodbye.

surreal.

Hello Iamnotminterested. I am putting in the fridge now for afterwards. I like The Competitive Reception Parents (TM) .

I do not want to discuss my DS's progress with anyone except my DH and his teacher. MN/Primary Education provides the necessary explanations and help. MY DS really struggled last year but seems to have settled well. Feedback last year was difficult to hear; I would have hated to discuss this in front of other parents/ children.

lou231179 'behaving and trying hard' will be grand.

madwomanintheattic our appointment time is 8pm. I really hope they aren't 1 1/2 hours behind. MY DS's nursery teacher arranged a separate appointment before the regular feedback meeting. I had no idea he was behind his peers in fundamental areas. Did you know in advance?

ReallyTired I hope that they call people through to a private area. If children's work is left out, some of the other parents will look through it.

OP Surely they wouldn't snoop at another child's work????

I really think that they absofeckinglutely will. Some parents make a point of looking at all the children's work if it is on the wall.

My appointment time near the end and parents evening will be underway by 4 hours when I get there. If folders of work are left in a classroom, they will be fair game. I would never look but I think a minority will.

All I can say is don't worry if other parents find out your DS is behind or struggling.

a) you never know who will give you support
b) at least then they shouldn't boast to you
c) they won't be jealous if they find out you DS is getting extra support.
d) they won't assume your child is just naughty and tell their kids not to play with him if they know more of the story.

I'm always happy for most other parents to know how badly my
children are doing. Not sure why. But why should I be embarassed?

I guess being embarrassed is the worst thing you can do. And if you're not embarassed why do you mind what others know?

Your child could be behind for a while yet. You have to play the long game.

My DS has caught up and seems to be doing well - I guess we will find out for sure on Thursday.

I was upset last year, because the he was struggling and the news was completely out of the blue. He attended private nursery and feedback there was that he was bright and doing well (although he was very unhappy). He attended a nursery attached to a school for the last half term. I was really upset when I found out and still feel guilty.

I am not embarrassed but do feel comfortable discussing specifics in front of children and parents. I don't think you should be embarrassed if your children aren't doing well.

I go in every Friday to see my sons work and see other children's work on the wall when looking at his - how would you not? My son is 4 years old, august birthday, and couldn't read/write when he started reception so I have no expectation of he will be the best. I also enjoy looking at the other children's work (and he enjoys showing me) - for example when all the children drew pictures of what they would be when they grow up. I think anything on a wall is for all to see. However looking at other children's folders is not really on.

If there are people listening and you are uncomfortable, say "Please can I make an appointment to discuss this privately?"

Having thought about this - I feel uncomfortable because some of the parents are so competitive. There is nothing wrong with enjoying looking at the work of your own child and seeing what the class have been doing. In this circumstance, some comparison is normal, unavoidable and totally understandable.

Ds's teacher will discuss work in terms of how he is working towards EYFS milestones and will not rank his progress with his peers; this is fine by me. I don't want to discuss specifics about my child with an audience looking on; I am being a bit precious.

I think I may take your advice SoupDragon. Hopefully I won't need to.

Hi. Our school also hold the parents' evening in the hall, but they call parents through one at a time. You cannot overhear what others are chatting about.

Must say, your class parents sound completely over the top. I think it would be best to keep quiet until you work out how the land lies - there will be other parents you get on with, but best to sit tight and work out who they are

In the meantime, just keep smiling, if anyone asks how your dc is getting on, just say he is enjoying school. That's all you can really say at that age anyway.

My DC school have parents eve in the big hall too and it has been fine.

Although there are no lunatics parents like you have described

The tables are dotted about so it is not possible to spy overhear iyswim.

Hope it goes well.

Really, really not sure what you are worried about. It's pretty normal for Parents evenings to be in the school hall. IME, it would be much harder to glance at someone else's work there, because you have to collect your child's folder from the box at the side of the teacher - they'd notice you rummaging through handfuls of folders. If all the dcs trays are spread out in class, I can imagine it would be easier to look insomeone elses (not that I've ever come across this in years, and years of PEs for 3 different dcs).
When you go forward to the desk/table the teacher is sitting at, you can't be overheard by anyone anyway.
Work on display is completely different. That is displayed so that people can view it.

Most parents are nice and I do get on well with them.

Apparently this is the first year that PE will be in the hall. I don't know for sure if we will all be together or if we'll be asked to wait in class.

BackforGood There are a small group of parents that are very competitive. I tell myself not to get involved but I can't help it; the current trend is to send extra homework in. Even today two children came back out after putting coats and bags away to bring practise sheets in to the teacher. This isn't extra work agreed in advance; the purpose seems to be evidence of extracurricular activities in preparation for PE.

You are right; this is bringing out the school in me . I just need to get on with it. No point in worrying about other people looking at my DS's/ other children's work. If they are interested and have the opportunity they will.

lol, egg, they weren't running an hour and a half behind (well, they were when we left.) when we went in they were completley on time. the teacher was just so distraught about ds that she went on and on for an hour and a quarter.

i wouldn't worry too much. in yr r they tend to do nodding and smiling and yes it's all going fine-ing. impossible really to tell whether dc is a child genius or requiring consistent additional support. it's all about making sure they cna put up with the routine rather than any actual academic stuff.

It really astonishes me that some parents are so obsessed with ranking their children higher than other peoples dc's that they are prepared to look at other kids work on the sly and eavesdrop on others discussions with the teacher on parents evening!! I mean WTAF!

I think we all know whose little darlings will be chatting their issues through with a therapist in the fullness of time..

WTACTUALF is right; reminds self that it is RECEPTION .

Books appointment before madwomanintheattic

Oh my word. About to go to first parents "evening" next week. I am flabbergasted that anyone else would care how my DC is doing, or not doing. My eyes have been opened.

Have more children. Then you will be so busy stopping the buggers fighting or having tantrums at the school gates you will have no idea who the in-mums or competitive-mums are, but you can rest assured they will not want to talk to you!

Oh dear - I always look at the other kids work on the wall - it's all just so sweet (reception class) and if a Mum is there I'll mention it! Hope they don't think I'm competitive! As far as I can see DS is doing ok. I couldn't care less if he was streets ahead but I would care if he was behind because I would want to work on that with the teacher.

It's my first PE next week and I'm hoping there will be nothing exciting to report. I'm more concerned about how he is getting on socially.

Regarding the extra homework - that is really weird. Do they think their PFB will go to a job interview one day and give a breakdown of what was said at every parents evening since the age of 4?

Looking at kids work on the walls ISs really sweet. It is grand to evidence of all the new skills they are learning. I know what the general syllabus will be from the term newsletter. Otherwise, school is a big secret for mini egg and it it nice to see him in action and to look at what he is doing.

There are only a couple of nutters and I shouldn't give them as much thought as I do. Maybe because he struggled last year I am overly anxious?

Most parents will only be bothered about their own children. There are a few that are very interested in what other DC are doing and how it compares. I was contacted by fb/text about a certificate my DS was awarded. He isn't gifted and talented and it wasn't an A Level btw. Maybe they were surprised that my DS had caught up? Who knows?

really? How odd. I would have replied that yes he had got a certificate and it would be going in his leather bound certificate album with the others.

Some parents lose all perspective!

If it is any consolation, they sound very amusing! Pick up time must be hilarious!
Contacting you by fb about a certificate! Good grief!

I am friendly with a couple of mums. If their children get awards or recognition I am very happy for them. One little boy has beautiful handwriting (mum showed me an example). It doesn't make me anxious about my DS's work .