DS2 is on the Autistic spectrum, but in MS school, now with no support (don't ask!).
Yesterday he came home complaining that his back hurt because 3 boys had kicked him - he had a red mark, and now has a slight bruise. He also complained that he felt dizzy all afternoon.
He says that he told the 'leader of the PALS' (PALS is something to do with helping those who are ontheir own at lunchtime?). She took him into the classroom for the rest of lunchtime.
I ended up having totake him to the doctors this morning over something unrelated, but he then went back to school, he was back by about 10am.
He has also had ongoing problems with people following him round the playground hitting him. When he tells the mid-day assistants, they just tell DS2 to walk away from these people.So he spends his WHOLE lunchtime trying to avoid them. Due to his Autism,he will only tell the MDA's once what is going on - it takes him alot to tell even once.He has to have already BEEN hit to tell IYSWIM.
Today I had a quick word with his teacher, and her response was: "Well he said he couldn't tell me WHO had done it, so we can't do anything or put it in the book. We only have 3 people to look after 300 pupils, what do you want us to do? We can't POSSIBLY see everything. And if we don't see it, and your DS2 can't or won't tell us who is doing it, then there is nothing we can do, and your DS2 is so over-sensitive anyway that a simple nudge is seen as a push and makes him complain. He's going to get jostled and pushed in a playground this busy and he just needs to deal with it. We DO have an issue with 3 particular boys, but they were kept off the playground for 2 weeks at the end of last half term. And anyway, the best we can do is keep your DS2 indoors and off the playground at lunchtime, which isn't fair on him. Now I've got to go". All said in a fairly aggresive tone of voice.
The last 2 weeks of last half term were the ONLY two weeks in nearly a year that DS2 was coming home from school HAPPY. He doesn't often talk about things though - due to his Autism and dyspraxia, he finds it difficult to process his emotions and talk about them - or even fully identify them!
First of all, the school has 408 pupils, not 300. Then there is the fact that they are basically saying that if anything happens that no-one saw,then they are just going to ignore it.
I have had NUMEROUS problems with bullying at this school, which has a history of punishing the VICTIM rather than the bully (DD AND DS1 have also had MASSIVE problems requiring hospital treatment through bullying at this school.) The Head and Deputy Head get ONE parent, on their own, refusing to allow any support during meetings, and they use bullying tactics against any parent who complains,like spurious allegations of 'aggressive behaviour' (I know of at least 12 people who have had issues like this)
NOW, when I spoke to DS2's teacher today, I HADN'T seen DS2, because he was at an after school club. When he came home, he complained about his back hurting. When I asked him why, he told me that the same boys 'got him' today, two of them held him down, while the other BIT him.
These are 7/8yo's in Y3!!
He actually has visible bite marks and a massive red patch (on the OTHER side from yesterday) on his back. FGS! He says he told one of the TA's. Appaprently, she told him to go and play. Nothing else. I have had NO accident slips for EITHER incident. (Not unusual when it comes to bullying incidents here)
The class teacher is OBVIOUSLY not going to help. If I go to the Head, it will be awful, and as usual, he will bully me to the point of tears. He won't let me take notes when I have memory problems due to my epilepsy either, and as a Lone Parent, I have NO-ONE who can gowith me that the Head will ALLOW in the room with me. He ONLY lets me go in on my own.
I CANNOT change schools - there just ISN'T another school with places in DS2's year group - his school HAS the bulge class for the area, DS2's year rgoup has 88 pupils in 3 classes, when it is a 2-form entry school. He has been on the waiting list for 6 other schools since Reception - I contact them regularly but DS2 is still about 35-ish on the waiting list for ALL of them.
This is also the same primary school that 2 years ago, DS1 got pushed over so badly due to lack of supervision that he had concussion for TWO FULL WEEKS, he blacked out and they didn't call an ambulance OR call me and send him home - they kept him in class, fast asleep at the table, and the hospital were so concerned that he might have a fractured skull that they gave him a CT scan. The HT LIED and said on the ACCIDENT FORM that he had tripped on a paving slab. When I EVENTUALLY got to see the HT, I got 'escorted' from the school, and accused of 'threatening and aggressive behaviour'. Yet a week later, they BEGGED me to help out on a school trip as I had passed their CRB check - so if I WAS TRULY threatening and abusive, they wouldn't do that, would they?!
I just don't know what to do. It feels like my only options are:
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Let the situation carry on, do nothing, and let DS2 get assaulted worse and worse.
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Go to the Head, be bullied myself to the point of tears, cause myself so much stress that it ends up with me having a seizure, and get nothing done ANYWAY, and be told that I am using 'threatening and abusive behaviour' again, and as it is the second time, I am banned from the school premises until they need someone with a CRB check to help with something.
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Pull my DS2 out of school totally, with NO HOPE of a school place within 30 miles - which is useless to ma as I can't drive due to my epilepsy, and my LA only pay for transport up to 6 miles away - anything OVER that, and it becomes the PARENT'S responsibility.
If you have got to the end of this essay, well done!
Now - WWYD? I NEED some help here. I am DESPERATE. I can't have my DS2 being ATTACKED to the point of having visible bruising and bite marks etc, and it will no doubt get worse, but the school is TOTALLY unwilling to engage with parents and SOLVE any bullying issues properly.
PLUS - my name is mud TBH, as I have previously complained to the LEA about them illegally taking away DD's SA+ help for 8 months when DD was a mid-year SEN transfer due to us moving to this area, put in 3 other complaints to the Board of Governors about previous bullying incidents, one to the Governors about DD's lack of progress at SA+ and the SenCo's abject refusal to support an application for a statement for her which was done within 2 weeks of her being at Secondary who couldn't BELIEVE that the primary hadn't insisted on it due to DD's complex SEN.
I have also reprted them to the DFE when they LIED on official paperwork about DS1's serious head injury - the HT admitted privately to me that he HAD lied on the forms, as he wanted the LEA to replace the paving slabs in the playground, and an 'accident' would help that - irrelavent of the fact that DS1 was PUSHED by a child who had been systematically ABUSING him from the start of Reception until that point in Y3! (DS1 is now in Y5).
I am NOT the favourite person at the school - and they treat me AWFULLY.
OH - and there hasn't been a Parent Partnership Officer in my area for OVER 3 YEARS. So that's a non-starter for support too!