Should I be annoyed at school gate politics or school?

[Eggrules]

Or neither?

DS came out with a certificate on Friday and was very excited. He has no idea what the award is for other than literacy. A few parents have contacted me by fb/ text over the weekend to ask about it . I have had very limited contact with all but one of them. They have my contact details from a DS's party or must have searched fb for me. A few were very pushy and fishing for details which I have shrugged off. One lovely mum has said he has was given an award with Y1 and 2 children. I presume it was for a one off piece of work.

My DS really struggled in nursery but has settled into Reception really well (thank goodness). Normally the teaching staff mention beforehand that a certificate is being given out so that you can go to Assembly to see it being presented. School are normally very good about mentioning things. I will ask tomorrow to see what all the fuss is about. Probably a storm in a teacup.

School is a big secret as far as DS is concerned; IMO, I am happy with his progress. I have no idea what work groups he is in and am not sure Parents Evening/ Consultation will illuminate this. Looking at the EYFS chart he is working well at Reception level and no further.

I hate school gate politics and am friendly but stay out of cliques and gossip. The school is very small and a number of parents attended as children. I understand that we all have concerns. Comparing work to see how DC are doing will lead to no good. The poor reaction of a few individuals has made me worried about any future instances where he may be singled out.

I am frustrated, will this nonsense go on until Year 7?

I don't know (yet) but you are absolutely right to stay as far away from it as possible.

Competitive parenting says tonnes about their level of insecurity and its best not to get sucked into it.

am a bit at the fb stalking!!

Cannot believe other parents are that interested in other children's certificates! Truly astonished. To the point where you would text the parent to see why cert was issued? They must be as rare as bloody hens' teeth in your school.

I feel like competitive parenting has found me anyway.

Reading it back, I am more annoyed at the parents. Some of the comments were a bit snide. 'Don't forget he is one of the oldest' - he is 15 weeks older than the child concerned ffs.

Also all of the parents concerned know he was struggling in nursery. For all they know this could be a reward for trying hard and catching up rather than doing something particularly well.

I am just annoying myself even more by thinking about it. I know I should ignore them. Insecure or not it is nasty and I despair that adults act this way.

Certificates are given out each Friday at assembly. As far as I can tell, my DS has received a certificate with older children, hence the fuss. As I said, storm in a teacup.

Parents of children that attended nursery use fb like a contact list. I have intentionally kept a low profile and am not fb friends with parents - the exception is someone that has been to the house many times with their DC. I was a bit to see a message. Odd to see people use contact details provided for a party and not used since. They are very nosy/odd.

its certainly not the school's fault. they must be as sick of it as you, seeing it every year to a greater or lesser extent!

congrats for your's on his certificate btw! I'm glad he's doing so well.

bamboostalks some people are too interested in reading book levels; how many books are given per week; name writing; word levels; etc. They must chart how well their child does in comparison with others.

I have no idea why this is important. I can't see this certificate making headlines on my DS's future CV. It doesn't matter.

I would forget about them, they are just jealous. Concentrate on making you ds feel very special, because whatever he got it for, he obviously deserved it

MigratingCoconuts 'congrats for your's on his certificate btw! I'm glad he's doing so well'. This is my response if someone is doing well. I think most people are sensible and kind. It is only a minority, but how annoying. Not sure what the school can do about it. Saw a lot of this type of behaviour at baby groups. I am surprised to find it now - they all need to chill the feck out.

Thetokengirl - he doesn't know why he has it and isn't bothered. I doubt any of the DC care.

yes...and its not like the school should stop public rewarding or anything because it really matters to the children when they get recognised for doing something well.

Mine are so proud of any certificate they get (especially in assembly).

ok x posts there!

erm...some children care

at Coconutty!

(ps i feel we should be related in some way!)

He does sometimes care about certificates - not this one though. I think if he knew in advance he may have been more excited.

Egg - yes, this will be it until y7. If you have a pushy parent(s) in the class it will just go on and on. I think you have 2 choices - compete harder (i.e refuse to acknowledge that his position in the birth order makes any difference etc) or ignore. From what I understand, it drops off at secondary level where the parents are much less involved. Unfortunately there are a lot of parents out there who live life vicariously through their children, but at least they are proud and involved with their children I guess - could be worse!

Coconutty - it IS ridiculous. I think I am friendly and stay out of all this nonsense. Maybe I am aloof and they think I will respond better in VL?

MigratingCoconuts - none of the children in Reception care about my DS's award. Tis all the parents, is what I meant.

There is a group of parents that fb and text each other about such things. No good will come of it; I tell you.

I am thinking of changing my name to Coconutsrule

befuzzled I fear you are right.
I will continue to ignore; it is very annoying though.

Wow those other parents are rather pathetic. It takes the sneaky book-bag checking to a whole new level of Crazy!

I can't believe the other parents have contacted you

I know DD's school used to give certificates when they had completed each level of phonics (letters and sounds???) - sometimes gave them in assemby, sometimes put them in the reading folder. Perhaphs it is something like that?

I've never noticed anything like this going on at my dss' school. Nobody has ever asked me what level my children are reading at, or what they get awards for, or what groups they are in. I'm now wondering whether this is because they already know, are all just very polite so wouldn't dare ask even if they wanted to, or because nobody at my dss' school is interested!

There are some certificates that they all get. Eventually, they will get awards for book reviews and times tables but his school don't reward for going up levels - I am glad that is the case.

The school mix the reception classes and occasionally Year 1 to do work projects. DS is in Reception and I think he has an award for doing something with a year 1 group - hence the beeswax situation. It wasn't a maths GCSE and this is a fuss about nothing.

We have one in particular that insists on telling everyone that will listen what word box/book etc her child is on. She posts on Facebook her daughters every achievement and out side school takes her book out her bag and in a very loud voice says " well done x you are on blah blah " can't stand it.
Competitive parents drive me mad. They look silly and they can also make parents of not so high archives feel bad. Tell them nothing will make them crazy.

Your son has produced some good literacy work and has been rewarded with a certificate it has nothing to do with other parents ... ignore their messages if they aren't friends and if they are tell them it's for reading War and Peace independently