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Primary education

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Original poster

Could there be something wrong with DD?

58 replies

BandOMothers · 13/01/2012 21:20

And the way she learns? She's 7...youngest in her year 3 class. She began at her new school in September so has had to get used to a new place etc but has settled in well. It's a very good school. Outstanding and really nice. Her teacher (I really like her) is well respected and all the parents speak highly of her.

The teacher has told me right from the beginning of term that DD struggles with comprehension when it requires her to think for herself....eg. they read a passage which describes a day out a little boy has at the beach....then DD has to answer questions on a worksheet.

She is fine with things like "What did they have for their picnic lunch?" because the correct answer is there in black and white...she knows it by reading back or remembering.

but when a question like "Can you describe what kind of clothing people might wear on a day at the beach?" she hits a blank....the teacher says she just says "I don't know."

The teacher told me to support this by asking similar open questions at home regarding books or pictures...but DD seems uncomfortable about this and says "oh i dont' know!" all grumpy if I ask.

She does have very good spelling, reading and writing skills and average maths...her art work is of a very high standard and also extremely imaginative...she draws detailed pictures and enjoys writing a story...her stories however are quite simple...eg.

"Once there was a little girl called Mary and she went to the shops with her sister Becky. They went to the park on the way and played on the swings. It was fun.Then they went to the shop and bought some sweets. the sweets were big and pink. After that they went home and had chips for their tea." I have paraphrased but that's very similar to her stories.

Prior to this she was at a small private prep which was very academic. They were happy with her. Her new teacher says she has been spoon fed and whilst it has gvgiven her strong ground in the basics she is lacking in imaginative skills and doesn't seem to trust herself.

OP posts:
GnomeDePlume · 13/01/2012 21:52

BandOMothers the thing which leaps out at me is that she is the youngest in the year.

We have had direct experience of the difference this makes. DD1 was youngest in the year. She was described as being:

  • a bit immature
  • too slow
  • a bit below average

We changed system. DD1 was one of the oldest in the year. DD1 was described as being:

  • mature
  • gifted and talented
  • exceptional

It's the same child!

Oldest or youngest in the year makes a huge difference. IIRC it doesnt unwind until around the age of 15.

RitaMorgan · 13/01/2012 21:53

I would encourage creative thinking in any situation you can - if not reading books then when watching TV, or even at the shops/park etc (try inferring things about people or situations you see, imagining what their houses might be like, anything like that).

Original poster
BandOMothers · 13/01/2012 21:58

I asked the teacher "Have you come across similar problems with many chidren?" and she nodded and said yes....she's not admitting she thinks there is a problem...I went in about an unrelated matter and asked how she was doing...what would they do to help if she was on the spectrum?

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Original poster
BandOMothers · 13/01/2012 22:01

Ellen she did in year one and two tend to make friends with "stronger" girls...who do look after her to some extend...but with her cousins and not sure about her new ones...she is more of a ringleader...she's the one thinking up scrapes to get into. So she's not passive or getting "Looked after" so much.

Gnome I know...I imagine her in year two now and she would be ahead in many ways. I wonder if I hould get her assesed privately...speed it up a bit.

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Original poster
BandOMothers · 13/01/2012 22:05

Can I add...she walked and talked very early. 10 months walking and talking in single words, long sentences at 18 months. She has always been very articulate but she also gets obsessed by things. She never opens up to me emotionally...my younger DD is a revelation...she tells me everything. DD1 never tells me much at all. She may blurt out something if it is REALLY bothering her...but it's one sentence and then it's not up for discussion.

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bigTillyMint · 13/01/2012 22:08

Obsessions, not opening up emotionally... How is she on empathising?

Original poster
BandOMothers · 13/01/2012 22:11

She will defend people or animals Tilly...if she thinks they are being hard done by. She stuck up for the cat the other day as DH called it a little dimwit for weeing on the bed. DH and I had disagreement recently and she said he was very rude to me... and she gets pleased if her little sister gets a party invitation from nursery...

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EllenJaneisnotmyname · 13/01/2012 22:12

If she were on the spectrum, unless her problems impact on her accessing the curriculum, probably you would get very little support. If the teachers are aware, you may get a few more benefits of the doubt. But teachers aren't experts either. TBH, her issues are really quite minor at this age and she may simply be still developing these skills.

You are obviously concerned, however. I'd ask the teacher if she thinks a chat with the SENCo would be a good idea, he or she may have a little more knowledge. I don't want to panic you, though. If it's not impacting her life to any great extent, which it sounds like it isn't, then just helping her with her comprehension and keeping a watchful eye out may be all that's needed.

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 13/01/2012 22:14

Just being aware that this may be a possibility may be enough.

bigTillyMint · 13/01/2012 22:15

Well, it sounds like maybe she has some possible traits, but it's hard to say more than that. You need to talk with the teacher who knows her, and then if you are concerned, work with the school to support her.

It may, as others have said, be linked to her age / previous schooling or any combination of the number of factorsSmile

Original poster
BandOMothers · 13/01/2012 22:17

Bugger. I'm such a worrier. I asked the teacher "Shall I begin this weekend?" and she said "No! She's very tired...give her a rest!"

I will try to chill a bt.

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MsMarple · 13/01/2012 22:25

Just a thought: it sounds like there is a lot of creative expectation in your house - what with yours and DH creative jobs, pulling her out of a school that wasn't encouraging creativity enough etc. The whole "you can't FORCE me to make things up" outburst makes me wonder whether she is feeling a bit pressured to live up to your creative standards.

Not an expert by any means. but maybe give it a rest for a while and make it less of an issue?

She sounds lovely by the way!

Maryz · 13/01/2012 22:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
BandOMothers · 13/01/2012 22:33

MrsMarple I had thought of that and I admit to my shame that in her early years I DID presure her to express herself more. Blush to do her "best" in art and writing. Blush I so regret that....have I damaged her?

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Original poster
BandOMothers · 13/01/2012 22:35

Maryz I have never done that because she's not let me read with or to her for a long time. She sometimes will come in when I read to DD1...I have tried to discuss things...but she wont have it.

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BettyBedlam · 13/01/2012 22:37

Could you have a few sessions with a tutor locally, rather than making an issue of getting her to read for you? That might help her along a bit and help you to see if there really is a problem.

CailinDana · 13/01/2012 22:39

Even year 6s can sometimes have difficulty with questions that are simpler than the beach one. For example I was reading a story with an average year 6 bunch that said "The following Thursday, they went to the last day of the dog show. It was X's birthday." I asked them what day of the week they went and I got "Eh Friday" When I asked why they said "because it was the last day of the week" When I said that was incorrect I got "On her birthday" so I asked the question again so they would listen to what I was actually asking, etc etc etc. It literally took about 15 minutes for a bunch of six children, conferring among themselves, to get the right answer!

Long story short, comprehension can be very difficult for children for all sorts of reasons. 7 is still very young - in my experience some children have little or no real comprehension at that age. The question your daughter was asked was a hypothetical one, which is one step further above inference - it calls on you to draw on your own experience and relate it to the story, a very high level of skill.

Basically, don't panic for the time being :)

Oh and you haven't damaged her.

Maryz · 13/01/2012 22:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ivykaty44 · 13/01/2012 22:44

I would be tempted to do some dressing up games.

The game is mummy goes and puts on some clothes and dd has to write down where mummy is going.

So for example

mummy goes and puts on a bikini and grabs a towel

then hopefully dd will write down either beach or swimming pool, then dd gets to have a go.

make up other types of guessing games along the same lines and use them on short car journeys around town. Possibly look at people out the window and you start to make up a story about them but you have to decide how old they are by soemthing in their apparence

Bluebell99 · 13/01/2012 22:51

I think it's a shame you are not sharing books with her at the age of seven. My dd has been a free reader since yr 1 but we still enjoy sharing a book together even now she is in year 5. We have been listening to an audiobook on my iPad just recently together. I am finding it hard to get my head around a 7 year old who won't let you read with her or help with homework.

exoticfruits · 13/01/2012 22:55

A lot of children her age have difficulty inferring things from the text. If she won't read with you I would take someone's suggestion from earlier and watch television with her and say things like 'why do you think the neighbour was annoyed?' or 'how can you tell that he is annoyed'. You could do it when out and about -people watch a bit and surmise things.

exoticfruits · 13/01/2012 22:56

Maybe she would read with you if you acted out the stories and you both took a part.

Original poster
BandOMothers · 13/01/2012 23:20

Well god for you Blubell/ Hmm what do you suggst? That I tell her off for not sharing a book with me?

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Harecare · 13/01/2012 23:25

I agree with Msmarple - just let her be. She sounds really clever and able and not wanting to answer such an obvious question as "what would you wear to the beach" doesn't mean there is anything wrong. She may just think the answer is so obvious that it's a stupid question so doesn't deserve an answer or must be a trick.
At 7 I wouldn't have wanted to read to my Mum. "She can read herself, why do I have to read to her?" Would have been my thoughts followed by "Is she checking I can read? Does she think I'm stupid???". Thankfully my Mum left me to my own devices, I don't think that's strange for a bright 7 year old at all. Your DD enjoys reading, trust that she'll come to you if she needs help. Let her do her homework alone, but make it clear you'll help if she needs it.
I can't see that she has any real problems, you're just focussing on the one negative thing and trying to fix it. Stop. Play with her, have fun with her, give her space to do her own thing. You haven't damaged her.

Bluebell99 · 13/01/2012 23:45

Touchy? I was trying to help by suggesting listening to audiobooks together. Could you listen to a audiobook in the car. Loads of good ones to chose from Roald Dahl to classics, and then you could chat about the story together, talk about what might happen next. I don't know how you have been trying to share books with her. Will she read with anyone else? Husband or grandparent? Teacher? Actually, I'm feeling now the more you pressurise her to do it, the more she will clam up. Sharing a book should be enjoyable experience. Can't you make it a special time for her? Snuggle up on the bed and listen to story together, with mine we have read books like stig of the dump and tom's midnight garden and Charlotte sometimes.

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