Any teachers please,how is the best way for me to approach this?

[mrsshears]

My dd has recently been found to be highly gifted following an private assessment instigated by ourselves to try and get to the root of problems dd had been having.
School are very reluctant to see dd as anything other than a quirky child who is slightly above average but has a very pushy mother who has over inflated ideas about her childs ability(dd is very introvert and also quite bored at school which makes matters worse as if something is too easy she really can't be bothered with it)
I have a meeting with school tomorrow to discuss dd and see what provisions are going to be made for her,i'm not looking forward to it as i think they will be very negative and defensive as they have been proven wrong about dd,my question is do any teachers know the best way i can approach this? i'm very keen to move forward and make sure my dd gets what she needs and the last thing i want to do is go in like a bull in a china shop and make things worse.
thanks

What 'problems' has she been having? How old is she?

Sorry she is 5 1/2 and in year 1.
Lots of problems really,she is a very well behaved child but her behaviour really deteriorated and she was having huge tantrums and not wanting to go to school(dd has never had tantrums before in her life),she has overexcitabilities and suffers from oversensitive hearing mostly but also some smells and clothing etc.She can be very intollerant of other children (although she is popular) and doesnt understand why they behave the way they do sometimes,we had actually thought she may have been on the spectrum but that has been proved not to be the case.

What areas is she gifted in?

In what ways gifted? School should be giving her work to suit her needs (if she can read fluently no point giving her picture books for eg.)

If you can pinpoint what she needs help[ with it would be easier to help advise you. It does seem odd that school see her as slightly above average compared to a private assessment that shows her to be highly gifted. FWIW I have seen very bright children whose parents have excused their bad behaviour & they have slipped down the class as it were as part of learning is the ability to follow instructions & to make some effort.
.

You say you thought she may be on the spectrum (and that was my immediate thought from your description of the sensory issues) can I ask how it has been proven not to be the case

I would also as a SENCO be wanting to investigate the impact of these sensory issues as a cause for your daughter's difficulties with school. Schools can be a nightmare for a child with sensory sensitivity.

She is highly gifted generally if that makes sense,more so than in a school way,more how she thinks and see's things iyswim.
From school point of view she is band 9 for reading (although she has been reading since she was under 3 so i think really she could be higher)
she is a level 2b for writing but her numeracy at school is nothing like what she does at home,at school its at my own estimate about a 1a but at home she is doing times tables and division,i do wonder how much her overexciteabilities affect numeracy at school as this is an area she needs to think about a bit more,whereas most things come naturally.
She is being underchallenged at school imo,which is what i need to say at the meeting but i dont want to be confrontational.

I've read your other thread, Mrs Shears about this and if I were you I'd try to put the IQ thing to one side for now and focus on building up her confidence and social skills. She sounds like she doesnt know whether she is coming or going at the moment and torn between pleasing you and the school.
If she is as gifted as you say then there will be plenty of time for her to succeed academically once you have the other stuff sorted.

Mrs Shears, it might be worth linking to your other thread.

She may be being underchallenged at school but she also clearly has areas in which she needs to develop and needs extra support - her sensory issues and some of her social issues. At this stage I would be asking how they can support this before necessarily stretching her further as this may be limiting her progress or the teachers analysis of her being 'just above average'.

I think a high IQ can be a red herring when it comes to children having difficulties in school. My son's IQ put him in the top 5% but he still had SEN and he still had difficulties and he is still ASD

we were told at the assessment that she wasnt AS and that giftedness and AS can present in a very similair way,she can and does interact beautifully when she wants to, she generally gets annoyed with typical 5 year old behaviour especially children not being nice to each other or boistrous behaviour.
I think her being underchallenged isnt helping her confidence.

Sounds like you need an assessment to see if she has sen rather than how gifted she is?

Who carried out the assessment as I would question their qualification to rule out absolutely a condition that is diagnosed by a team of experts from numerous fields.
A high IQ and being gifted in a particular area no not rule out AS in fact they could be clear indicators

Your post shouts ASD to me the mother of two children with autism tbh. I would say that an assessment for her IQ wouldn't necessarily pick up any ASD indicators as interaction with peers, rigidity of thought and social communication wouldn't have been looked at.
I'm with mrz a high IQ doesn't mean that a child doesn't have significant difficulties in school.
FWIW ds started nursery able to manipulate three figure numbers in his head, was above year six level in lots of ways, had been reading the newspaper since two but he had SEN and ASD and needed an awful lot of support to address his social interaction difficulties and his huge sensory difficulties.
My advice would be to go to the meeting and ask what support they can give to help dd with her difficulties with peer relations and sensory issues. Ask for a referral to an ed psych and take your dd to the GP and ask for a referral to a developmental paediatrician.
If you don't address her difficulties she may never be able to show her academic talents would be my thoughts tbh.

I do have another son who is just gifted and my experience has been entirely different for him. I never had to teach him anything he just absorbed and explored everything. His teacher picked up just where he was at within days, coming to find me and asking did I know just how bright he was? They encouraged his thirst for knowledge, gave him opportunities to stretch him sideways, placed him in groups further up the school for maths etc taught him individually when he'd passed yr6 ability etc.
As for his peers, they were never a problem because in the playground, at the activity tables he was just another boy enjoying the company of his peers and what he could do with numbers never came into it.So I wouldn't necessarily agree that giftedness and AS are very similar.

I just knew this would happen,helpfull as everyone is trying to be noone has actually answered what i posted.
The fact i have been told by a highly respected proffesional that my dd is not ASD,someone who has actually seen her,is enough for me,this isnt what i posted about and i have asked for this thread to be pulled.

The reason multi-agency assessments for ASD were introduced is that one professional, even though they have met your daughter maybe on numerous occasions, cannot state that a child has an ASD or not. There needs to be numerous assessments done by a range of professionals.

OP, this thread is a microcosm of the difficulties in getting an appropriate education for an HG+ child - I'd say in the UK, but actually it seems to be the same most places. Too many people who think they know what's what without having met your child or, perhaps, any other child in the same IQ range. There are good teachers and good schools though so don't give up! What you need - well, what we all need, but your needs may be greater than average given your DD's problems so far - is people who will set aside their preconceptions and see what's in front of them and think about it. Go into this meeting acting on the assumption that that's what you've got - try not to write it off before it happens. Some schools are far better than others, culturally, at seeing and challenging children as individuals, and that's what you need (not necessarily a school with lots of experience with HG+ children in particular - often the same schools that are great for children with SEN are also great for HG+ children).

Some things that might be useful if you haven't already got them:
Misdiagnosis and dual diagnosis of gifted children and adults
www.amazon.co.uk/Misdiagnosis-Diagnoses-Gifted-Children-Adults/dp/0910707642
What a child doesn't learn
www.wku.edu/academy/?p=430
The Davidson forum
giftedissues.davidsongifted.org/BB/

I would not worry about being perceived as pushy.

I would just go and talk and tell them what you told us. Just try to bear in mind what you think the school could do, and what you could do at home to support this.

I think approaching the school as an ally can really work ("how can we make this work").

Also, talk about what is going to happen (jn future) and don't "blame" them for things that happened in the past (that will make them defensive)

You're missing the point, mrsshears, one professional's opinion is not a definitive answer, I'm afraid.