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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

What To Do With a Three Year Old

108 replies

learnandsay · 02/12/2011 12:26

Hi Folks,

I've been teaching my three year old daughter to recognise words, sentences and phrases. So for those of you who know the Usborne phonics readers will know Big Pig on a Dig and Ted's Shed. She can read those two and also the first two stories (for those of you with long memories!) Elsie Holmelund Minarik/ Maurice Sendak Little Bear short stories.

The reason I say recognise phrases rather than read is because my daughter still can't decipher new words. So, if you show her short she'll tell you it says short. But if you show her shot, she'll say "I don't know that word."

We're working on decoding unfamiliar words. But it's a long process!

Anyway, she loves simple addition which we call add one (or add any number up to ten) using lego blocks and the like. We do the same for subtraction. And for multiplication we do repeated addition. Which she finds very enjoyable. She can also divide by two, because division by two is very easy and she understands the idea of having one left over. In fact she can divide by three too. But that's another story.

Anyway, here comes my question.

My daughter will start in Reception next September. And there I've seen children learning to recognise their own names and to count to five. I don't believe that the concepts of division and multiplication are even introduced until the children are at least a couple of years older. And I haven't seen Reception children reading entire books. In fact I've seen Year One children still reading made up words like foo, goo and boo on an interactive white board.

So, my question is this........

How do I prevent my daughter's education from declining rapidly when she starts school? I can't help feeling that Reception classes are going to facilitate the unlearning of everything that I've taught her. She's still got almost a year to go till then. So she'll have acquired a lot more to forget by the time she reaches school.

What do you think I should do?

PS, my question assumes that she is sent to the catchment area primary. We have some out of catchment primaries which are avowedly academic in focus. But they are predictably oversubscribed. Our catchment school is proud of its parental involvement. But I can't imagine how sixty children's education is to be undertaken if a teacher needs to spend lots of time teaching my daughter things none of her classmates have any clue about! It just doesn't make sense! So, with the best will in the world my daughter can only expect to get taught what everybody else is being taught, (I think.) Hence her education must inevitably regress. (And I'm very much against home schooling children for social reasons. Although I think that in many case the academic results speak for themselves.)

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ceri150 · 02/12/2011 12:34

, why not let her enjoy being three and learning through play

Pancakeflipper · 02/12/2011 12:41

I think any reception class is not going to fulfill your educational wants. Reception is very much concerned about the social aspects of a child, gaining independence and being on the road to becoming decent citizens.

You'll probably need a private tutor or home ed.

I agree with Ceri150 - I like my children (one of whom is very bright) to learn through play and playing with their peers. I want them to enjoy their young years of learning. I think it that helps them to knuckle down in the later years when learning is more structured.

PandaNot · 02/12/2011 12:45

Why do you think it's important that your dd learns all these things right now? My dd also 3 is beginning to put letter sounds together to read unfamiliar words BUT she's doing it because she's watched her big brother and knows that's what you're supposed to do to read a book, not because we've taught her to do it. I'd be just as happy if she did nothing but 'play' until she was at school.

Catsdontcare · 02/12/2011 12:49

I think they'll probably use her time in recePtion to undo your teaching methods. In particular Maths is taught very differently now. If you want carry on teaching your child before then you owe it to her to atleast do it the same way she will be taught in school.

notnowbernard · 02/12/2011 12:59

am I allowed to

Sorry, OP, but this sort of thing is done to death on here

You do know you're in for a slating, don't you?

PrinceRogersNelson · 02/12/2011 12:59

Blimey my daughter is 3 and can just about say her name. Please chill out - she's 3. She should be jumping in puddles and picking her nose not learning to read and do maths.

CecilyP · 02/12/2011 13:05

For someone who is against home schooling, that is what you seem to be doing. If you are afraid the school will teach her what she already knows and she will be bored, perhaps you should hold back a bit. If she can recognise many words, she will continue to be able to do so. If the school then teach here phonics, she will be able to work out new words for herself and may become a fluent reader very quickly. If you are finding trying to get her to decode unfamiliar words now such a trial, why don't you stop. Then, at least there will be some novelty for her when she starts school.

I also wouldn't delude yourself that your daughter will be the only child who can do what she can do. There will be others, and I am sure the reception teachers will be able to differentiate accordingly.

SeoraeMaeul · 02/12/2011 13:14

Puts on flame proof suit but....
Whenever I read these threads I wonder if parents who know the curriculum and know what will be taught in reception why do they push for more?
I've never met a 2.5 or 3 year old who has asked to learn how to read or learn maths versus playing tag or dolls or Lego or whatever.

Is it they dont know how to fill a day with play so have to add lessons? Is it peer pressure? Is it ambitious working mum suddenly finding themselves at home? Absolute genuine question - what drives this?

HippyHippopotamus · 02/12/2011 13:18

I know of a couple of three year olds who can read eg i gave one of them a new game and she read all the characters' names incl jessica, a name she hadn't seen before.

Your daughter won't be the only child in her class who can read and do simple maths

HippyHippopotamus · 02/12/2011 13:20

Sorry, i didn't answer your question about what you should do. As others have said, let her play and stop the lessons!

Original poster

learnandsay · 02/12/2011 13:31

The maths tuition is new. I taught her the numbers up to ten about a year ago. Addition and subtraction were just a game we played and enjoyed. It wasn't supposed to become pedagogic.

The reason maths became pedagogic was out of a need to keep my daughter engaged in something! If you don't keep her focussed she runs about the house pulling on the curtains throwing everything she can get hold of and climbing on your back and stomach. A page of dots to add together and writing the answer equals whatever it may be calms her down beautifully. Apart from that there's no particular reason she has to learn maths now.

Reading is different. They all have to learn to read and parents have to devote lots of time to helping them practice.

OP posts:

notnowbernard · 02/12/2011 13:36

IMO, children have to spend a long time at school. Longer by choice

The next 2yrs are hers to just have fun and play... I'm sure she'll continue to learn as she goes along

If she's as clever as you say she is, she'll really have no trouble being identified as such by her teachers. And be treated accordingly

aries12 · 02/12/2011 13:39

I have a two year old and was also wondering if she would be able to start on the phonics soon. She is so eager and alert I think she might have to skip Reception!! (Only joking!!!)
Seriosuly, let your child play, she is three she needs play more than reading right now...slow it down totally.By all means read to her but leave the rest of the work for the school. If she learns too much now she will be bored at school. Yes, tecahers do have thirty children and your child will not get special tuition at her advanced level. When she is four get her to recognise her name and learn put on shoes/socks/open bottles/pack her bag/tidy up e.t.c. Sometimes these little life skills are far more important than reading at that age!
Let her draw, scribble, play, dress up/role play/paint/cut out/glue, play with others and watch t.v and dvds!
My child did all of these things when she was three..I was working full time. While I boought a lot of books and read to her all the time..I did not encocurage any form of reading until she was in Reception. She had not been adversely affected in any way and is doing very well in school.

Original poster

learnandsay · 02/12/2011 13:40

I'm not sure that she's particularly clever. She has a couple of friends who are bilingual, as she is, and can read too, at least to some extent. She's clearly not stupid. But she doesn't seem out of the ordinary. I guess she's just been exposed to a little more educational material than a lot of children her age.

OP posts:

notnowbernard · 02/12/2011 13:43

What are you worried about then?

pictish · 02/12/2011 13:44

What to do with a 3 year old?
Let them be 3!

mollschambers · 02/12/2011 13:45

Oh good grief! She's 3 ffs.

Iamnotminterested · 02/12/2011 13:49

Good God in heaven.

CecilyP · 02/12/2011 13:57

They all have to learn to read and parents have to devote lots of time to helping them practice.

Actually they don't. My parents certainly didn't. Of course, children will progress more quickly if they get reading books home and can read to their parents, but that does not mean that you have to start now.

montmartre · 02/12/2011 13:59

What toys does she have, purely for playing?

She needs to be developing her social skills, imagination, puzzle-solving etc

Does she have any siblings? It sounds as though she's an only... children are supposed to be climbing, running, tugging at curtains- that's part of how they learn (that actions have consequences, that things have tipping points, including mummies!, to develop a sense of balance, and learn how big/small her physical body is etc)

Skimty · 02/12/2011 14:01

Actually, I agree with all those who say just let her play but...DD (3) does ask to learn to read. She steals her older brother's book bag and hides upstairs practicing the speed words so it is possible that some children want to learn to read this early and can do. I have multiple temper tantrums when I take the words away to try to get her to 'play'. However, I think it's more common in subsequent children perhaps? I would far rather she didn't try to put herself through the stress. It sounds like your DD is maybe more inclined towards the 'maths' games so why bother with the reading?

FWIW DS could read a little when he started reception (early Sept baby) and hasn't been bored so far. He has had loads of fun socialising and learning new skills I couldn't have imagined.

ShowOfHands · 02/12/2011 14:08

Just send her to a school with qualified teachers. They tend to know how to teach. And have probably met children before. Have faith. They don't just let Kerry Katona lead reception class because she looks smiley and has her own pencil case.

mollschambers · 02/12/2011 14:10

at SofH

RiversideMum · 02/12/2011 14:12

In Reception class, we assess the children mainly on what they choose to do independently rather than with an adult or directed by an adult. We are looking for them to apply what they have been taught in their own activities. So if she were running round the classroom climbing and throwing like you say she does at home, most of our focus would be on getting her to learn expected behaviour - learning to look after the toys for example and sharing and playing with other children. If she cannot do these things then she will not only hold back her own learning in school, but the learning of the other children too.

lljkk · 02/12/2011 14:18

Omg, you completely have the wrong priorities (it sounds like).

Ditch the reading/maths & teacher her to handle a little boredom & lack of one-to-one adult attention. That's the skillset she needs (perhaps desperately). How does she manage at nursery? Sounds like no school could handle her at the moment.

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