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Primary education

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5yr old boy hitting

56 replies

pauldoc · 11/10/2011 14:09

I'm new to this so please bear with me!!
Having a bit of trouble with our son in year one. He has a habit of hitting and kicking other children in his class. It actually started in reception but has continued this year. The school is getting complaints from a couple of parents, one in particular, who happens to be his best friends parents!! Oh and his best friend is a girl. (infact most of his friends are girls, he doesnt like the boys)However these parents are not the niceset of people and have been upsetting my wife by questioning her parenting skills and veiled threats to the school about 'sorting it out themselves'. I am not condoning my son's behaviour in any way and we are devastated by the trouble being caused. We have spoken to the school and are prepared to do anything to get this sorted. He is a good natured polite clever boy for the most part but i do believe he is at the end of the day 5 years old. i have read other thread where the word bullying is used and i guess it is a form of it but its not a word that 5 year olds in my opinion totally understand. We continually tell him its not right to hit or be mean and he agrees but still does it!! With little remorse when told off. I think the school think its normal 5 year old boy behaviour and are dealing with it but the parents of his best friend are not happy and want action. any suggestions?

OP posts:
readingmakesmehappy · 16/05/2025 21:26

OP, can I ask all these years down the line how bas your son turned out? My 6yo ASD son is struggling with the same and I am looking for solutions

pauldoc · 17/05/2025 09:14

Wow, my original post was a while ago!!
I’m conscious/nervous to get into this again so will keep it brief.
We had a couple of tricky years but as my son matured I honestly think looking back he was bored and not being challenged maybe enough at school. They didn’t have the time or the know how maybe, I don’t know.
Now he is a lovely,polite and intelligent young man. He was in the top 5% gcse and A levels at his secondary and now he’s at Uni . He’s independent , funny , confident and my best friend too😁 . I’m sure it will all work out for you and I think it’s good to remember the school isn’t always right. You know your child the best

OP posts:
readingmakesmehappy · 17/05/2025 09:45

@pauldocthank you for responding. At his best my DS is kind, funny, sweet and curious. Everyone keeps telling me “it will all be OK in the end” but at the moment he’s at risk of being expelled after hurting a classmate and im
terrified it will derail his life

pauldoc · 17/05/2025 11:38

We worked with the school and you have to stay strong in your beliefs, he’s only 6 , you need support not expulsion!! All I can say is when he went to secondary he was a different child behaviour wise. Good luck

OP posts:
Ablondiebutagoody · 19/05/2025 10:01

1

Unbeleevable · 20/05/2025 16:05

@readingmakesmehappy my NT 5 yo struggled with frustration and rage - he has verbal developmental issue himself so he could not articulate why he was angry.

Now he is 6.5 and much better. Combination of trying lots of techniques -
eg blowing out a constant stream of air for a count of 20 when he feels cross

teaching how to express a story so he can tell someone why he is angry

teaching him “stock phrases” for difficult situations eg “I don’t like it when you say nasty things, so I am going to walk away.”

Practising role play walking away from fights

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