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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

DD's teacher threw something of hers in the bin

73 replies

QueenOfFeckingEverything · 07/10/2011 16:22

DD (8) started crying on the way home today - she said she'd been in trouble at school (which is unheard of for her).

After some coaxing the story came out that DD had taken a handmade bracelet to school, so she could show it to a friend. It had come slightly unravelled at one end and so while the teacher was calling the register before lessons started, DD was replaiting it. The teacher took it off her and threw it in the bin.

Now, before anyone shoots me down for undermining the teacher, all I have said to DD on the subject is that it shouldn't have been at school and it definitely shouldn't have been on her desk.

I can't help feel a bit annoyed though tbh. I agree it should not have been out during school time, and I agree that the teacher was right to take it away from her and not return it during school time. In fact, I'd fully support the teacher if she decided to only return confiscated items at the end of the week or even term.

But to permanently dispose of children's belongings seems unfair and not really acceptable. What does anyone else think?

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ChippingIn · 07/10/2011 22:21

Mindthegapp - the point being it is not the teachers place to decide if it is tat or not. Yes she can confiscate it, but it is not her place to throw it away.

missmapp · 07/10/2011 22:23

because sometimes I am thinking about teaching the learning objective of the lesson and make a mistake,( we have 30 mins maths catch up during registar time- vital learning time) Because I am human and not a robot, because I always seek out said child and say' i was v. annoyed when you were fiddling with xxxx as you were not learning, but I see you improved so I have returned it to you. Yes, I normally put item in box in my drawer, but sometimes things go wrong. Teachers can get things wrong, it doesnt make them a bad teacher.

Original poster

QueenOfFeckingEverything · 07/10/2011 22:27

I have to say, getting things back out of the bin surely just sends the message that you make grand but meaningless gestures when pissed off IMO a box where confiscated items remained until the end of term would send a far clearer message.

DD felt like she was in trouble. Having something she had made and taken time and care over thrown in the bin upset her.

OP posts:

CupOfBrownJoy · 07/10/2011 22:28

I can imagine asking someone repeatedly to put a bracelet away, to then snap and chuck it in the bin.

I'd probably retrieve it later. Ask the teacher.

CupOfBrownJoy · 07/10/2011 22:29

"just sends the message that you make grand but meaningless gestures when pissed off"

yep, the message is that teachers get pissed off when children don't do as they are asked.

Teachers are human too, although on a lot of threads on MN if he/she is not an absolute angel the parents seem quick to bay for blood...

Original poster

QueenOfFeckingEverything · 07/10/2011 22:34

Yes, but what is the actual consequence to the fiddling during lesson time if the item is thrown in the bin and then retrieved and handed back? The bin bit is pointless in that case because its isn't actually going away with the rubbish, is it?

So the children will learn that you don't follow through with what you threaten. Not a great way to instil respect and discipline, surely?

OP posts:

CupOfBrownJoy · 07/10/2011 22:40

Its simply removing the object. I wouldn't threaten throwing in away because I knwo that I wouldn't do that. I would possibly lose my patience, take it away from the child and drop it in the bin. I would then speak to the child after the lesson, remind them about rules concerning bits of tat things brought into school, tell them to retrieve it and put it in their bag.

Its not a life lesson. Its a losing of the rag patience...

CupOfBrownJoy · 07/10/2011 22:41

tbh I'm slightly that you're still posting on this subject 6 hours later...

Original poster

QueenOfFeckingEverything · 07/10/2011 22:47

Oh well I can only apologise for shocking you. I was finding it an interesting insight into the way teachers feel it appropriate to deal with disruption to their lessons - as a previous home edder this is all still a bit new to me.

And if you are dropping it in the bin.... that is throwing it away isn't it? Why do it in the first place though if you dont intend to follow through with it?

OP posts:

StewieGriffinsMom · 07/10/2011 22:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChippingIn · 07/10/2011 23:08

CupOfBrown - if QoFE wasn't still posting she would then be being accused of posting & running off when she didn't like the answers - you can't bloody win.

Original poster

QueenOfFeckingEverything · 07/10/2011 23:11

I post til I feel I have exhausted the subject or until people stop replying anyway And there are still things I don't understand here, so I'm hoping to be enlightened.

OP posts:

TethHearseEnd · 07/10/2011 23:12

I'm a teacher and I'd never throw a child's possession in the bin.

I offered to bury the hamster, FFS.

teacherwith2kids · 07/10/2011 23:12

Feeling very worried that amongst the random array of conkers, seeds, threads, bits of paper, pieces of blu-tac, fluff from the rug, bits of plastic, hairs, long-expired tissues, pencil sharpening curls etc etc that I collect from my children's fiddling fingers on the average day I have accidentally thrown away something precious... given that for all of these things the child could have claimed that the item 'belonged to them' (even if only in the sense of finders-keepers) I do hope that I am not infinging their rights....

The teacher may well not have realised that the item in question wasn't just some random threads. Or she may have already had a go at the whole class for fiddling and this was the very last straw...

teacherwith2kids · 07/10/2011 23:13

Teth, I'm just a bit nervous of that grey area between 'scrap of rubbish' and 'possession' .....

TethHearseEnd · 07/10/2011 23:19

Yeah, but I had hidey holes all over the classroom. I wouldn't put anything in the bin, but it may take a term week or two to find them again

teacherwith2kids · 07/10/2011 23:21

Including all the "conkers, seeds, threads, bits of paper, pieces of blu-tac, fluff from the rug, bits of plastic, hairs, long-expired tissues, pencil sharpening curls"?

I have a neat-freak TA.... might have to have a very secure hidey-hole if she's not to bin that lot!

BoysAreLikeDogs · 07/10/2011 23:22

has no one suggested that the child might have had a flight of fancy and the incident wasn't exactly as described?

DownbytheRiverside · 07/10/2011 23:27

Good grief no.
The child is always to be believed, occasionally the adult is asked for their side of the story.
Why would you think that the child wasn't telling the truth?
What would she have to gain from telling a story?

JackyJax · 08/10/2011 05:32

Hello,

Hmmm can see why teacher behaved as she did and agree with others that teachers (I'm one myself) can occasionally get it wrong.

I'd probably use this opportunity to teach your daughter some resilience. Sorry if this sounds patronising- it's not intended to- but the psychologist at our school says resilience is one of the most important lessons kids can learn and in our world nowadays it's a lesson seldom taught.

I'd talk through with daughter what she did wrong (realise you've already done this), I'd talk about way teacher handled it and ask daughter if she could come up with a better way and then I'd tell her that the teacher chose to handle it a different way and she'll just have to accept it.

As you know your daughter will get over this and could possibly gain from the resilience lesson. And as for approaching school, I wouldn't as it's not such a big deal. I think it's wise to choose your battles carefully.

Also, it's obvious that most of us sitting in our comfy homes wouldn't choose to throw bracelet in bin (far easier to pop on shelf and return later) but none of us know how we would have behaved in that actual situation.

You sound like a very caring and sensible mum.

iscream · 08/10/2011 06:09

Hmmm. A teacher once took my happy face necklace that I guess I was fiddling with, and he wore it for the rest of the class. Then told me I could have it back at the end of the year. That seems fair.

Thzumbiewitch · 08/10/2011 06:26

Tethers - at the hamster episode - was the teacher suitably mortified? Poor hamster, poor girl (but kind of serves her right for bringing it to school - what was she thinking?? Doesn't serve the hamster right in any way at all though :()

Queen - assuming that the teacher didn't retrieve the bracelet from the bin then she was out of line, yes. Confiscate, yes - bin, no. If she did retrieve it from the bin later then not so bad but as you say, a bit of a meaninglessly grandiose gesture. But she may have been asking your DD to stop playing with it for a few minutes before finally snapping. Ask her for it back - don't make a big thing about it unless it was actually irretrievably binned - then perhaps a comment about the inadvisability of throwing other people's stuff away would be fair.

2kidsintow · 08/10/2011 22:12

I have confiscated many an item from kids in my class, but have never thrown anything away unless they were fiddling with something that was obviously rubbish (plastic wrapper from water bottle/scrap of paper etc.) Could it be possible that it was unravelled a lot and therefore didn't look like a bracelet, but some scraps of thread?

I'd phone or write a note explaining that my daughter has been reminded about not bringing items into school/fiddling in class, and that you are requesting that she bring her confiscated item home at the end of Monday. This puts the onus on the teacher to find it and admit to binning it if that did happen, or retrieve it from wherever if it wasn't. If you get no joy with that then take it a step higher in school.

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