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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

DD's teacher threw something of hers in the bin

73 replies

QueenOfFeckingEverything · 07/10/2011 16:22

DD (8) started crying on the way home today - she said she'd been in trouble at school (which is unheard of for her).

After some coaxing the story came out that DD had taken a handmade bracelet to school, so she could show it to a friend. It had come slightly unravelled at one end and so while the teacher was calling the register before lessons started, DD was replaiting it. The teacher took it off her and threw it in the bin.

Now, before anyone shoots me down for undermining the teacher, all I have said to DD on the subject is that it shouldn't have been at school and it definitely shouldn't have been on her desk.

I can't help feel a bit annoyed though tbh. I agree it should not have been out during school time, and I agree that the teacher was right to take it away from her and not return it during school time. In fact, I'd fully support the teacher if she decided to only return confiscated items at the end of the week or even term.

But to permanently dispose of children's belongings seems unfair and not really acceptable. What does anyone else think?

OP posts:

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Caz10 · 07/10/2011 18:00

OP it is so nice to hear a sensible approach (I am a teacher). That said, I think if it is in the bin then that is out of line. My yr1s were terrible fiddlers and I removed many items every day! But never into the bin, I had a little tray and children who remembered to ask nicely at the end of the day got them back same day. Could it be possible the teacher has a tray like that?

Thumbelina79 · 07/10/2011 18:03

The teacher was probably distracted by the teaching she has to do and didnt give the matter much thought. It was an obstruction to learning and she removed it. Shouldnt have been there. School is about teaching and learning not bracelets

tethersend · 07/10/2011 18:09

At my old school, a child in a colleague's class kept fiddling with her pencil case. It was an art lesson, and my colleague was trying to elicit creative responses to paintings in a book she was holding. She told the girl again and again to stop fiddling with her pencil case, but she continued. After a while, said colleague had had enough, and snapped. She walked over to the child's desk and brought the heavy book down hard onto the pencil case whilst yelling "just stop it!". The child let out a scream which brought me running from the office.

Through racking sobs, the girl managed to explain that she'd been fiddling with the pencil case as it contained her pet hamster which she had snuck into school to show her friends.

It could be worse

Iggi999 · 07/10/2011 18:13

LikeABlackFlameCandleBNQ · 07/10/2011 18:13

Ask for it back. If it cannot be returned, call and ask for clarification on what their policy is on personal possessions. I do wonder if it were something more (monetarily) valuable (eg Nintendo DS or similar) it would have been put away to be collected at the end and certainly not binned. If this is the case, then why should your DDs bracelet be treat any differently.

LynetteScavo · 07/10/2011 18:14

tethersend! [grin

The teacher shoudl have removed the offending item, but should have returned it at the end of the day (making it clear at the time of confiscation that you DD could have it back at home time)

CupOfBrownJoy · 07/10/2011 18:18

The teacher probably thought it was rubbish, if it was an unravelling threaded bracelet.

It'll be well gine by now.

Lesson learned, I would say. I can't see any reason to bring it up with the teacher...

DownbytheRiverside · 07/10/2011 18:28

Did the hamster make it Tethers?
Two possible options, either the hamster got an A* at GCSE, or formed part of a creative response to a Damien Hurst piece of conceptual art.

LikeABlackFlameCandleBNQ · 07/10/2011 18:31

Salvador Dali stole the squashed hamster, the pencil case and the textbook for good measure. Now on display in the Tate Modern, alongside his ten million melting frigging clocks.

tethersend · 07/10/2011 18:37

The remains of the hamster was buried in the staff smoking garden, with a lollystick headstone.

It's probably what he would have wanted.

Original poster

QueenOfFeckingEverything · 07/10/2011 19:10

I agree school is about teaching and learning - I just think that respect for peoples' possessions is as important a lesson as respect for the teacher when she is talking, and should be taught by example.

You can't just treat things belonging to children as rubbish and then expect to command full respect for yourself and what you have to say/teach.

OP posts:

Original poster

QueenOfFeckingEverything · 07/10/2011 19:14

And at tethers hamster story.... Luckily I can't imagine DD's cat being so easy to conceal

OP posts:

dikkertjedap · 07/10/2011 19:14

I have a big box in which I put all items confiscated during the day (pebbles, sticks, hairbands, used chewing gum, half eaten foodstuff, variety of toys, half eaten foam balls, make up, phones, all kind of games stuff etc. etc.). At the end of the day I try to remember to return items to their rightful owner but TBH often forget. Then it is up to the kid to remind me. Often other children try to claim somebody else's item - I don't always spot this.

Last week a very angry mother was coming in first thing when I opened the door: 'How dare you throw away my daughters (half eaten) hairband?'. Of course, I hadn't - it was still in the box. The mother was then upset because the said hairband was badly damaged as her dd had been eating it and hence it was confiscated. No apology whatsoever, she was upset that I allowed children to eat hairbands

So I would be a bit careful with your dd's story - it is very well possible that the teacher did not throw the bracelet away at all but your dd has misinterpreted the confiscation.

I must say that I find it very very annoying that parents allow their kids to take all kinds of stuff to school when we clearly and repeatedly ask them not to do so, but that is another story.

Original poster

QueenOfFeckingEverything · 07/10/2011 19:24

Had I known she had it with her, I would have made her leave it at home! But DP did the school run this morning and he isn't as well versed as me at checking her pockets before she goes. I don't 'let' her take stuff, but sometimes it does happen.

DD says the teacher threw it in the classroom bin, she saw her do it.

OP posts:

DownbytheRiverside · 07/10/2011 19:25

I take it your poppet is in Y4 now OP?
So she should really know by now that you aren't supposed to fiddle with things when you are supposed to be listening and working. It should have been in her bag or tray or whatever, so she could show her friend at the appropriate breaktime.
Ask the teacher for the bracelet back and see what she says.

Original poster

QueenOfFeckingEverything · 07/10/2011 19:31

Oh FFS DownBytheRiverside, I think it is clear from my posts that I am not remotely 'poppety' about DD.

I agree she shouldn't have had it, I agree it should have been taken away from her and not returned in school time, I agree it shows a lack of respect for the teacher to be fiddling in lesson time. I told DD all that myself, and meant every word!

I simply don't agree that teachers have any right whatsoever to permanently dispose of things that belong to the children in their care.

OP posts:

DownbytheRiverside · 07/10/2011 19:38

I agreed with you.
It was you still frothing about it being disrespectful even though everyone said yes, along with

'Had I known she had it with her, I would have made her leave it at home! But DP did the school run this morning and he isn't as well versed as me at checking her pockets before she goes.'

She's 8. Time for her to remember the school rules, you shouldn't need to be checking her pockets at that age.

ChippingIn · 07/10/2011 19:41

QoFE - some people have weird shaped chips on their shoulders that make them permanenty bitchy, I'd just ignore them.

Poor DD, that is really really not on. As you say taking it away until home time/end of the week/half term - whatever, is fine, chucking it in the bin is not - no matter what it is.

It's a shame you didn't call the office when you got home as it's probably too late to retrieve it now :(

Original poster

QueenOfFeckingEverything · 07/10/2011 19:50

Its a half hour walk home, and we went to the shop first, so we weren't home until after the office would have closed anyway.

She'll live, she can make another.

She won't have any more respect for the teacher for it though, or have learnt anything more than 'Mrs X is mean and chucks my stuff away'.

OP posts:

StewieGriffinsMom · 07/10/2011 19:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MindtheGappp · 07/10/2011 19:56

It sounds like it was a piece of tatt that had no place in lesson time.

I would imagine that the full story was that DD was told to put it away, did so, but got it out a second time.

I see it all the time.

Original poster

QueenOfFeckingEverything · 07/10/2011 21:50

MindTheGapp - yes, quite possibly she did. I don't know, I wasn't there. She can and does misbehave and I would never say otherwise - I'm not deluded. But she has not been in trouble at school ever before and so I assume that this was for her a first offence. I've said several times that I think the teacher was right to take it away from her, but that IMO binning someone else's possessions (however tatty you may deem them) is unacceptable and a poor example for an authority figure to set.

DownbytheRiverside/SGM - sorry. I got a little snippy at what I inferred to be an accusation of being poppety over DD when in fact the opposite is true, I am stricter than most people we know. The thing with emptying her pockets is to stop the bloody 'swapping' of tiny shitty plastic toys they like to do at break which always ends in tears - I seem to be the only parent who refuses to let her join in with it despite letters from school asking us to stop them taking toys. She has never been in trouble for playing with anything in lesson time before, I really did think she knew better tbh and am annoyed with her for that. Still think it was disproportionate and rude of the teacher though.

OP posts:

missmapp · 07/10/2011 21:50

I have ,on occasions, become annoyed with a child fiddling with an item despite repeated requests not too, and have dramatically thrown it in the bin, only to retrieve it later . Check with the teacher, Im sure its with them

MindtheGappp · 07/10/2011 22:00

I'd hardly say she was in trouble. I imagine that the teacher thinks that the incident is over and is on her way to completely forgetting about it.

jenniec79 · 07/10/2011 22:17

MissMapp how does taking the object out later stop the loss of respect that goes with the children thinking "Mrs X is mean and chucks my stuff away" if they don't see you do it? What if there's a load of banana skins/spilled ink cartidges/glue/snotty tissues (ie pretty standard rubbish) in the bin - could be covered in all sorts? Maybe then it's just "Mrs X is mean and horrid and steals my stuff and covers it in gunk from the bin" - any better?

It sounded to me like this was during the REGISTER from the OP - not true learning time anyway but when they were all just getting settled in the classroom.

I also remember making things like that bracelet in breaktime at that age - why should she not be able to take it with her - finished or not, as long as she put it away in class time.

And does anyone think that the OP's DD really learned anything that might have been on the teacher's learning objectives for the day if she was still so upset as to be in tears this evening about something which happened at registration?! Teacher made a mess of it and should be (nicely, quietly and calmly, of course) made aware.

Maybe asking the OP's DD to show the others how to make the bracelets in an arts/crafts type session would stealthily reinforce the "time and a place" lesson without seeming (to an 8 yo and much of mumsnet) that the teacher IBU.

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