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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Catholic Primary Education - do i want this for DS

94 replies

YokoOhNo · 26/09/2011 09:49

DH is a practicing Catholic and went to Catholic school. I was baptised and went to church as a child, but I'm basically agnostic, although I do appreciate the Christian message of "love thy neighbour" and the church as something that binds the community.

Briefly, the local Catholic primary school is excellent and DH wants DS (7 months) to be baptised Catholic so he can do there. I have been to a few services at the church with DH and DS, which is very friendly and the priest is lovely and, obviously, I am keen to get DS into a good school, but I'm hesitating.

While I have no problem with a Christian ethos in education, I have a issues with many of the formal teachings of the Catholic church on homosexuality, contraception, priestly celebacy etc, and what I feel are the more hocus pocus aspects such as pilgrimages to Lourdes etc (I don't mean to offend, just state my view). DH says I'm being daft, that he is RC, that DS's education is too important not to baptise him and "hardly any Catholics believe half that stuff anyway" and that I should get over my concerns.

DS was an IVF baby and we want to be very open about that with him, but the Catholic church is critical of assisted conception. His lovely aunt is a lesbian. I would hate him to feel criticised or upset.

I suppose what I'm asking is, are my doubts rediculous? Do Catholic primary schools mainly teach the "Jesus is love" message and have nativity plays and carol services, or does it go much deeper into some of the more controversial aspects.

OP posts:

festi · 26/09/2011 23:19

are you a practicing catholic then if you dont hold that opinion?

Quintessentialist · 26/09/2011 23:19

Or rather, not Mary at all. She is not so important.

wantadvice · 26/09/2011 23:21

A practising catholic is by defintion someone who lives their life by the teachings of the catholic church.

wantadvice · 26/09/2011 23:21

well, she is a woman after all....

wigglesrock · 26/09/2011 23:22

I've never seen that in a bulletin either, our bulletin is full of support groups, notices about First Communion, parish events etc. I'm in NI and I thought we took our religion pretty, pretty seriously.

festi · 26/09/2011 23:22

as you do in the catholic church also in prayer.

TheFallenMadonna · 26/09/2011 23:22

Well, as I said, the whole admissions thing has passed me by because my children go to their local non faith school.

wantadvice · 26/09/2011 23:24

I appreciate that others may not have read this in their own churches newsletters but that doesnt then must mean I imagined it in mine.

festi · 26/09/2011 23:24

the whole practicing thing has derailed. you do not necisarily have to be practicing to send your dcs to catholic school anyaw, it just helps..

Quintessentialist · 26/09/2011 23:24

I think many things have been left out of the bulletin.

Like a mum at my sons school who came up to me and said

"Would you Know Katherine came up to me the other day and said she had heard we all come from monkeys! Monkeys, I am telling you, whatever next? I told her not to be so silly, we are all created by God. Heavens, what lies they tell the children these days"

erm ha ha ha. Yes, exactly.

wantadvice · 26/09/2011 23:25

No, you dont, not in the strict sense of the word.

festi · 26/09/2011 23:26

TheFallenMadonna · 26/09/2011 23:27

Has anyone suggested that you had? I thought that perhaps you lived somewhere other than England, where, IME, congregations have quite a lot of divorced people, small families, cohabiting couples and other indicators of bad catholicism. I think your parish priest is quite strict, and am wondering if it is my friend from college, now ordained, who has little truck with my slack ways...

wantadvice · 26/09/2011 23:28

I was once told by our local priest that contraception is intrinsically evil. He was pretty young and I am not sure he believed it himself.

wigglesrock · 26/09/2011 23:28

See my husband was worried about the fact that dds might not have Evolution explained/taught to them as fact when dd1 started primary school. I asked the headmaster at the open day exactly what she would be taught and after a very long pause he replied "Mrs Wiggle, Evolution of course, what else in Gods name would she be taught"

DioneTheDiabolist · 26/09/2011 23:31

I don't know any Catholic schools that teach anything other than Jesus is love message. I went to Catholic school and now my DS attends. Also in attendance at his school are Muslims, children born through IVF and children of divorced and single parents (I am almost divorced). None of this has ever been an issue. We too have very close family who are openly gay, again, it's never been a problem.

When I was growing up I did question the church's views on homosexuality, sex before marriage, clerical celibacy and other things quite openly in school and with members of the clergy. My parents (along with teachers and priests) helped me gain perspective and ultimately make up my own mind. I have done so and while some (mostly non catholics ) insist that my beliefs mean that I cannot be a Catholic, I haven't been kicked out yet. Nor has my openly gay uncle and his partner who are very active in their church.

Whatever you chose, ultimately it is your and your husband's input that will have the greatest impact on how your DS does at school and in life. Good luck.

festi · 26/09/2011 23:37

I think being "taught" is key in that conversation. The school read the "stories" from the scriptures. I supose being "taught" evoltion does happen out of kilter with being "read" about creation.

I think its a judgement call for your own dcs. I felt I had to introduce evolution to my dd at the same time as she was read creation as she is very bright and I think she needed to be told it is just a representation as I realised she would and did question it.

Original poster

YokoOhNo · 27/09/2011 09:00

Just to answer a few points raised above - my DS would consider himself a practicing Catholic, but he disagrees with, or ignores in practice, a number of the teachings of the Roman Catholic church. I don't think that is at all unusual amongst practicing Catholics - I think it is common. He had sexual relationships before meeting me and with me prior to marriage, he used contraception, he has gay friends. And yes, we had IVF to have our gorgeous, longed for, DS. We will use IVF again, hopefully to have another DC.

wantadvice - You see, this is the sort of orthodoxy I was afraid of in opting for a Catholic education for my son. I refuse to let him feel any guilt or be upset because HIS PARENTS opted to have IVF to have him and someone tells him that this is evil/wrong/a sin or whatever.

OP posts:

DoubleMum · 27/09/2011 10:50

There are many parts of catholic dogma I don't agree with, but I suspect I have that in common with a large proportion of catholics in this country! For the purposes of a catholic primary education, I don't consider I need to worry about any of those things, as my experience of multiple catholic schools is, as someone has already said, a 'God is love' message, applicable to everyone.

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