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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Health & Safety Gone Mad - Ear-rings related

186 replies

michglas · 30/08/2011 16:05

DD2 (10.5) has been deciding for the past few months whether she wants her ears pierced and we told her to have a good long think about it. We didn't think there was any pressure to get it done over the summer holidays as in previous years girls have covered their ears in plasters for PE.

Gone back to school 2 weeks ago and girls with newly pierced ears are being told to remove them for PE in line with Council policy. I rang the school today and they confirmed and said there would be a letter going out about this later this week, asking parents to refrain until summer holidays. They said if i chose to remove her from PE, there was nothing they could do about it but they wouldn't be happy. I rang the Council today to confirm and they said it has been policy for 10 years and obviously the school haven't been conforming. They also said that they had emailed the schools before the end of summer term asking them to let parents know that any ear piercings should be done in the summer holidays.

Given that i made DD2 have a good long think about it, I am not about to tell her that she has to wait another year. If the school had put the newsletter out like they were supposed to then we would have got them done in the summer. So I damn well letting her get them done this weekend and i will remove her from PE in the interim - getting them done with needle opposed to gun, so they should heal quicker.

Am I unreasonable?

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Original poster

michglas · 30/08/2011 20:11

i know they didnt but if they had put the letter out before the holidays, dd2 would have been told to make the decision then or wait a year. it was the school's mistake.

OP posts:

LaurieFairyCake · 30/08/2011 20:15

Taking her out of PE for a non- reason is breaking the rules.

Original poster

michglas · 30/08/2011 20:15

and to answer a posters earlier question, i am teaching her not to be a robot by questioning when somebody else has stuffed up.

OP posts:

CaptainMartinCrieff · 30/08/2011 20:16

How was it the school's mistake? Do you really think the school should inform you of every directive they receive from the powers that be with ample notice in the form of a letter?
Should you not have thought ahead and asked the school what their policy was regarding pierced ears instead?
Other posters are correct this isn't a 'new rule' lots of us remember these rules from when we went to school!

mrz · 30/08/2011 20:21

we are not breaking the rules,
I rang the Council today to confirm and they said it has been policy for 10 years

MigratingCoconuts · 30/08/2011 20:28

i know they didnt but if they had put the letter out before the holidays, dd2 would have been told to make the decision then or wait a year. it was the school's mistake.

But if the directive has been sent out during the holidays, they couldn't do this. And if the directive has been sent out, they can't ignore it even if you think that's an acceptable way to deal with rules, they can't

Original poster

michglas · 30/08/2011 20:33

i spoke to the h&s guy at the council who stated the schools were informed 3 weeks before end of term with strict instructions to notify parents. if school didnt do it then they stuffed up

OP posts:

rainbowinthesky · 30/08/2011 20:34

Then all you have to do is tell your daughter, "sorry I know we promised you but it turns out you're not actually allowed to yet. Never mind, we'll do it next year."

OddBoots · 30/08/2011 20:39

Would you feel any differently if the council said the school should be sending a letter at the start of this term?

You're going to do whatever you want to do regardless of what other people think, and that's between you, your daughter and the school.

Malcontentinthemiddle · 30/08/2011 20:43

Why on earth did you start this thread then?

You're obviously going to do it anyway, and I'm sure you'll do lots of other things like this over the next 7 years. Your daughter is going to end up very spoilt, and the teachers you encounter in the rest of her school career will have very little time for you.

Is my confident prediction.

MigratingCoconuts · 30/08/2011 20:48

if school didnt do it then they stuffed up

and now you know too....and if you don't now follow it, you've stuffed up (assuming, of course, you would have paid any attention to a letter sent at the end of the term)

you are going to pull your DD out of PE becuase the school were 3 weeks late with a letter and you found out before your DD was due to have her ears done. Really? what point are you making? DD has holes in her ears because the school sent out a letter a bit late?

Malcontentinthemiddle · 30/08/2011 20:52

Betcha if they'd told you three weeks before the end of term, you'd've found a reason to wait until now anyway. Or you would have had some kind of problem with the letter or something.

CaptainMartinCrieff · 30/08/2011 20:54

Looks like you're going to continue arguing with us and the school on this matter.

mrz · 30/08/2011 20:58

I'm sorry OP you posted here expecting everyone to support you ... perhaps think about it???

mrz · 30/08/2011 20:59

Try teaching her not to be a robot and consider why the school has this rule rather than following your example of ignoring things that don't suit what you want to do

Original poster

michglas · 30/08/2011 21:14

i posted here for opinions and i do appreciate honest opinions, not the abuse and sarcasm that has been directed at me. i have been accused of being immature but some posters have shown far less maturity and they really feel ashamed of themselves if that is how they talk to people.

OP posts:

mrz · 30/08/2011 21:18

You got honest opinions but they weren't what you wanted so you had a little strop

Im going to take my child to the tattoo shop that me and DH got our last tattoos done and get her ears pierced as she has wanted, she has made up her mind that she wants them done. then im going to keep her off PE for the 4-6 weeks it takes to heal.

cold beer in had waiting for the flames and trolls

very mature teach her she gets everything she want ...

MigratingCoconuts · 30/08/2011 21:19

its easier to dismiss what has been said as immature and sarcastic than to stop and think about what was said, isn't it?

carpetlover · 30/08/2011 21:31

But, but, but......
Even if they have stuffed up, this particular rule is there for a very good reason. If this was to do with hair length or something similar then you may have had a slight point but this rule is there to protect your dd and just because school have be slack with this rule does not mean they should continue to do so once pulled up on it.

I am teaching all three of my children to be independent thinkers who question what they hear, read and are taught in an academic sense. But this is not the same as teaching them that's it's acceptable to ignore school rules. They can disagree with them by all means and when old enough to articulate why they disagree with them I'd be more than happy for them to present that disagreement in an appropriate way. But teaching them that it's ok to disregard school rules is inappropriate behaviour for a parent.

Original poster

michglas · 30/08/2011 21:34

How am i teaching her to disobey rules, when the rule is that they don't wear ear-rings for PE so she won't do PE?

I am not dismissing what was said as immaturity and sarcasm, some posters were exactly that.

OP posts:

carpetlover · 30/08/2011 21:38

Oh and last year, dd1 needed a couple of stitches after tripping over some tree roots in the school field. School did seem a little worried how we'd react but all dh said was 'well she'll remember they're there next time!' how else can you react? It was a tree root ffs, not a trip wire school had set up. School were not negligent simply because my 5yr old was running and not looking. She could just as easily have done it during a weekend walk with us.

carpetlover · 30/08/2011 21:41

Oh sorry, your not teaching her to break the rules only how to laugh at them by missing PE instead of following sensible advice.

handsomeharry · 30/08/2011 21:42

I think it is a pity you have made the decision not to remove the ear rings but have decided instead to stop her from doing PE.

I do think it is the wrong decision and can tell you, from experience, that children do not enjoy sitting out of PE - it is very boring and they can see they are missing out on a lot of fun.

You have mentioned that your DD is naturally an active child so she will probably find it quite hard not taking part.

In all Scottish schools an effort has been made to increase the amount of time the children do PE. My DS has two gym times per week. That's quite a lot of sitting about doing nothing when she could be running around.

elphabadefiesgravity · 30/08/2011 21:43

You'd better find somewhere else to get them done then. Children arn't allowed inside tattoo shops by law.

Seriously, make her wait she should have had them done at the beginning of the holidays, its common sense.

CaptainMartinCrieff · 30/08/2011 21:44

You are advocating that she misses lessons because it's more important she has her ears pierced.
That's your justification????

Her education is more important. And you saying otherwise to her is totally sending out the wrong message. On your own head be it.

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