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Original poster

Health & Safety Gone Mad - Ear-rings related

186 replies

michglas · 30/08/2011 16:05

DD2 (10.5) has been deciding for the past few months whether she wants her ears pierced and we told her to have a good long think about it. We didn't think there was any pressure to get it done over the summer holidays as in previous years girls have covered their ears in plasters for PE.

Gone back to school 2 weeks ago and girls with newly pierced ears are being told to remove them for PE in line with Council policy. I rang the school today and they confirmed and said there would be a letter going out about this later this week, asking parents to refrain until summer holidays. They said if i chose to remove her from PE, there was nothing they could do about it but they wouldn't be happy. I rang the Council today to confirm and they said it has been policy for 10 years and obviously the school haven't been conforming. They also said that they had emailed the schools before the end of summer term asking them to let parents know that any ear piercings should be done in the summer holidays.

Given that i made DD2 have a good long think about it, I am not about to tell her that she has to wait another year. If the school had put the newsletter out like they were supposed to then we would have got them done in the summer. So I damn well letting her get them done this weekend and i will remove her from PE in the interim - getting them done with needle opposed to gun, so they should heal quicker.

Am I unreasonable?

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mrz · 30/08/2011 19:26

michglas you give the impression that you are just taking this stance because you dislike being told what to do so had the school said your daughter must get her ears pierced you would have refused ...
For the record I allowed my daughter to get her ears pierced at the beginning of the summer holidays between leaving primary and starting secondary ... she also has a personality but I am the adult and responsible for her wellbeing

bruffin · 30/08/2011 19:31

Since when as making a common sense decision made someone a robot.
If your DD really wants it she will wait.

yousankmybattleship · 30/08/2011 19:31

Yes, michglas, our children are all mindless and soulless robots while your daughter is a wonderful free spirit. You keep telling yourself that. The alternative might just be that you are a bit of a tit and are encouraging your daughter to flout a perfectly sensible rule just because you're a bit peeved that you misundersood the school rules.

Malcontentinthemiddle · 30/08/2011 19:32

There's no need for a ten year old to have pierced ears. WHilst the child's at primary school and the school has said it's against the rules, I see no reason for you to do it other than to be annoying.

My daughter has a personality too, I like it! But she's not having her ears pierced until she leaves primary school. Not too complex as a concept, I would have thought.

I think you're just the kind of parent who likes a) ear piercing b) deliberately courting trouble with the school and c) making out that some sort of lame personal decision is in some way a political act to do with personal liberation and self-expression blah blah blah. It's not.

prettybird · 30/08/2011 19:35

Re the H&S culture - it was really Shock and Sad how many people asked us in all seriousness if we were going to sue the school when ds broke his leg in the playground.

Our attitude was a) no, because accidents happen and b) no, 'cos he's been told a gazillion times by us not to play football on the muddy bits (there's a blaze pitch) as we're fed up of him coming home with dirty trousers (he suffered a spiral fracture of his tibia when he turned but his foot didn't - ironically enough, the day after we got back from a skiing holiday which we had had to take him out of school for a couple of days for).

We could have said that the school had a duty to make sure that there weren't any muddy bits - but FFS! I'm just grateful that he has a playground that is big enough to include a football pitch and to allow them to run around.

ASByatt · 30/08/2011 19:36

prettybird, I think I love you.

prettybird · 30/08/2011 19:40

ASByatt : You're not a teacher at ds' school are you? Wink

MigratingCoconuts · 30/08/2011 19:44

what you appear to teachin your DD is that it is ok to pick and choose which school rule you follow...and it really isn't.

Its not a robot thing, its a society thing.

The bigger picture here is that if everyone chose which rules they thought were ok to follow, we'd have anarchy...or riots perhaps.

Society works by us following the rules, even if they don't always work in our persoanl favour.

That's what I choose to teach my DC (and that getting a decent education can help them to become the law makers Grin)

unfitmother · 30/08/2011 19:45

My Android DD knows she will wait until she finnishes primary school and knows why.
As she's only just about to turn 11 its my job to guide her.

MigratingCoconuts · 30/08/2011 19:46

excuse all the spelling errors...I haven't drunk enough wine yet....

CaptainMartinCrieff · 30/08/2011 19:46

Personally I believe all jewellery should be removed before doing any sport. I do not think it's health and safety gone mad at all.
I've seen a very nasty incident involving a finger almost being stripped to the bone by a wedding ring.
If she's mature enough to have her ears pierced she's mature enough to remove them and put them back in before and after PE.

LaurieFairyCake · 30/08/2011 19:47

I think you have to consider the message you're sending to your ten year old:

  1. That pe and being in a team or group is less important than having earrings
  1. That it's ok for you to break the rule and throw a strop when it doesn't go your way

Life is unfair and fucking random - suck it up !

Seriously, this is not the message you want to give to a tweenager.

TinkerTailorSoldierLibrarian · 30/08/2011 19:49

My Great Grandad died in WWII to defend a mother's right to defend her child's right have holes put in her ears in early September. He fought for this. Don't let the nanny state win. Pierce her nose too. That'll learn 'em.

SquongebobSparepants · 30/08/2011 19:52

'at what age would you allow your children to make the decisions about themselves. 16/18/25.'

Not 10 then? None of those options say 10. How odd. Woudl that be because a 10 year old is NOT old enough to make a decision about themselves what with them being a child? My DD's want tattoos, ear piercings and to wear makeup to school. It's not going to happen because I am a strong enough parent to be able to cope with my children saying they hate me and stropping.
You are not your daughters friend, you are there to show her right from wrong, and this seems to me as if you don't want to back down on your word, well, here's a shocker, sometimes as parents we HAVE to because of outside influences, yes, she will probably bitch and moan and declare she hates you forever, she's a pre teen girl, that's kind of her job. Yours is to show a bit more of a repsonsible attitude.
Good luck with that.

CaptainMartinCrieff · 30/08/2011 19:55

I've just read some of your replies to other posters... You're extremely immature. Rules the school put in place to protect your children's safety should not be questioned in the manner you appear to question them. It's not about breeding robots or civil servants, it's about respect. You appear to be teaching your DD that she can disagree with this rule and that rule and that's okay, Mummy will support her by going against the advice of the council and the school and take her out of PE... But that's okay you'll play on the Kinect instead WTF!

SquongebobSparepants · 30/08/2011 19:55

Why don't you pierce her bellybutton? Then the school won't be able to seeit and onyl you will know she is breaking the rules!

MigratingCoconuts · 30/08/2011 19:57

Tongue stud? If she keeps her mouth shut, no one would know

MigratingCoconuts · 30/08/2011 19:58

...just ask her. Obviously at 10, it would be her decision and she is not a robot...

Malcontentinthemiddle · 30/08/2011 19:59

What would be the point of breaking the rules if the school didn't know and have to make some accommodation for you having broken the rules, though?

Original poster
michglas · 30/08/2011 20:00

we are not breaking the rules, the school changed them without the notice they were instructed to give so why is that acceptable?

OP posts:
CaptainMartinCrieff · 30/08/2011 20:00

Incidentally my work insist I remove all jewellery including my wedding ring when I'm in theatre... it's about hygiene in my instance. But hey ho, if rules are there to be broken and questioned I might just ask my Mum to write a letter to the Chief Exec withdrawing me from any future surgical procedures.

TinkerTailorSoldierLibrarian · 30/08/2011 20:01

She could have a Rage Against The Machine tattoo on her left buttock. Watch 'em try and make her take that one off.

Malcontentinthemiddle · 30/08/2011 20:01

So are you breaking the rules becaause you didn't get told them early enough, or because you're not a robot, or what?

elphabadefiesgravity · 30/08/2011 20:04

Its alwys been the thing that girls gettheir ears pierced atthe start of the holidays so they can take themout fr school. It was like that when I was at primary school.

Dd is 9 and had hers done 5 weeks ago. She is not allowed to wear them at all for school. I run performing arts classes and the dance teacher who works for me has seen some nasty injuries in dance classes from earrings getting caught.

Its not H & S gone mad its common sense.

MigratingCoconuts · 30/08/2011 20:08

we are not breaking the rules, the school changed them without the notice they were instructed to give so why is that acceptable?

because, from what you have said, they have had a directive from county, which includes the fact they have been breaking the rules for a while, and have been told to enforce them asap or be in big trouble.

They didn't plan this to make your life difficult.